


Mothlight

by hueue



Series: su has me by the THROAT [7]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, I failed boys I made an au, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Steven Universe is a Diamond, connie is a queen and I love her, stevens a himbo, this was supposed to be a one-shot what am I doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22957234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hueue/pseuds/hueue
Summary: Connie Maheswaran has no idea what's going on.She was just supposed to destabilize Pink Diamond in hopes of ending the colonization of her planet but instead, she finds a 17-year-old boy with pink hair and with a musical voice who tells her to call him Steven. She finds a Pearl who lies through her teeth and begs her to steal Pink Diamond away from Homeworld. She finds that Steven is something extraordinary. She finds that nobody knows the full story of the night when the rebel leader Rose Quartz was shattered by the villainous Pink Diamond.She finds that she doesn't know much at all.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Series: su has me by the THROAT [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575244
Comments: 312
Kudos: 639





	1. The Fearsome Pink Diamond

**Author's Note:**

> god.  
> so yeah here's an au.  
> this was supposed to be a one-shot but here we are in the future sjkdjfghk 
> 
> i love love love aus where Connie and Pink-Diamond-Steven meet and become friends but im uncomfy with how many of them make Connie like,, Steven's property or, the other option, they are just inTENSELY horny lol 
> 
> so here's an au where she helps him escape Homeworld and recover from what happened there all while discovering the truth of what happened between Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond! enjoy!
> 
> (cw: misgendering/dead-naming, implied abuse, self-harm (no blood, no detailed description) stay safe xx)

1

The Fearsome Pink Diamond

The sword only seemed to get heavier in her hands as she approached Pink Diamond’s quarters.

It was just nerves, she knew this, but it didn’t prevent the mounting anxiety she felt as her steps echoed through the empty, opulent halls. She couldn’t back down now, they’d fought and bubbled an entire horde of Gems from Blue and Yellow Diamond’s court to even reach the dazzling palace, not to mention the _months_ they’d worked on bypassing the lock on the Warp system to allow them to get to Homeworld in the first place. 

Bismuth had left the most important job to her―destabilize Pink Diamond’s form and bring her Gem back to the rebel base on Earth. The protective systems in place wouldn’t register Connie like they would a Gem, as purely human as she was; she could slip into the Diamond’s room without so much of a whisper of it reaching other Homeworld Gems. Connie had accepted the mission with a grin and a panic attack, stealing Pink Diamond away and keeping her bubbled on Earth would surely be enough to gain some leverage with the Diamonds but one misstep and Connie could be reduced to smithereens. If Blue Diamond was a shatterer and Yellow Diamond was a disruptor―then Pink Diamond was total annihilation. 

She’d heard tales of her abilities from the rebel Gems back home unlucky enough to have faced her―screams that could crack the walls and the ability to corrupt just from her stare. Even if Connie couldn’t be affected by corruption or most other Gem abilities, she still had no need to see if the rumors were true. 

Connie stifled a yelp as she pressed herself against the wall to avoid detection by the two big purple-hued Quartz guards that marched past her. She wondered briefly what their gem-type was; back home they only had a handful of Gems that had renounced Homeworld and pledged their help to the human resistance―Bismuth, a few ‘Off-Color’ Gems, Lapis Lazuli, and Peridot―but there were so many more on Homeworld! Part of her wanted to know _everything_ , another more vocal part wanted to get the hell out of dodge as quickly as possible. The Quartzes disappeared around a corner, Connie exhaled heavily, pushing her glasses further up her hooked nose bridge. 

She kept on her route to Pink Diamond’s room, following the precise instructions Bismuth had given her. Skin pulled tight against her knuckles as she tightened her grip on the hilt of her candy-colored sword made by the rainbow Gem, it could slice through any Gem’s physical form in an instant leaving only their gemstone which could be easily bubbled for eternity if they saw fit.

In the years since she’d joined the rebels, she’d become quite adept with a sword, mirroring the adventurous chosen ones she’d grown up reading about to an almost perfect degree. It, frankly, wasn’t how she’d thought her teenage years would be like when she was a kid, but there wasn’t much time to complain. 

Her steps slowed to a stop in front of a massive door at the end of the hall that towered over Connie. It was predictively pink, adorned with an image of Earth and its moon and a mosaic of the Diamond herself―perfectly perfect for a Diamond, authoritative and menacing with eyes that dared Connie to enter. She steeled her nerves, if the door was any indicator of the Diamond’s size then it was going to be a tough fight; if she had the others it’d be no problem: Lapis would hold her down with her hydrokinesis, Bismuth would slash at her all while making awful puns, while Peridot cooked up some wacky gadget to incapacitate Pink Diamond so Connie could make a clean final blow. Simple. 

But it was just her. 

And she wasn’t going to let Earth down by walking out without Pink Diamond’s shining gem held high in her hands. 

From the pocket of her navy blue jumpsuit, she retrieved a simple device Peridot had made and set it over the diamond-shaped entry panel. It beeped and blinked before prompting Connie to push a button to let herself in. She inhaled, adjusted the fabric of her jumpsuit so the embroidered yellow star stood out like a badge of pride, exhaled, and pushed the entry button. 

A low rumbling sound filled the hall and the door split apart, Connie held her sword in position, ready to fight the fifteen-foot-tall tyrant that stood behind it. 

Her grip slipped slightly once the doors finally opened to reveal…nothing. Nothing but an empty pale pink room with sheer curtains covering a window that overlooked all of Homeworld, staring dead at the blank face of White Diamond’s ship. 

“Uh…” Connie took a tentative step inside, “what? H-Hello?”

It didn’t even look like anybody _lived_ in the room, at least not for a very long time. Dread filled her: _Was she in the wrong place? Were Bismuth’s directions wrong? Was this all just some big trap?_

“Blue, I-I’m still here, I promised.” her adrenaline spiked at the sound of a voice. Not the booming, commanding voice of a Diamond, but a soft, resigned, much smaller sounding voice that had a strange musical quality to it, “I’m…I’m not gonna try it again.” 

Connie took another step, peeking her head out from the alcove. Her confusion only deepened. 

There, slumped against a pastel wall with his eyes closed, was a boy, well not a _boy_ ―he looked around the same age as her―but somebody decidedly _less_ old than the eons-old entity she’d ben expecting. 

He was dressed in a funny little outfit: a pink, open-stomach one-piece bisected by a thin lines of pale pink fabric with sheer fabric attached to the sides, puffy pink and white sleeves, raspberry colored gloves that went to his elbows, and magenta slip-on shoes with little fuzzy puffballs seemingly levitating just above the toes; his hair was pastel pink and fell in oversized ringlets to his shoulders. What interested her most was what the open diamond-shaped of his dress framed, a glistening five-faceted gemstone embedded in his stomach that looked nothing like a diamond. 

The gears in her brain whirred. 

So he was a _Gem?_

But…he _couldn’t_ be! Gems were all very obviously feminine and none of the Gems Connie had seen in battle or in the handful that she saw in the resistance had looked nearly as human as him (her?). 

The enigma on the floor pulled his legs closer to his stocky frame, trying to take up as little room as possible in the austere room. He still hadn’t realized that Connie wasn’t Blue Diamond as he so clearly thought. All the careful planning Connie had put into this very moment seemed useless now―she’d been expecting a _fight!_ An epic battle where she emerged battered but _victorious_ ! She hadn’t been prepared to see a whimpering teenage boy (?) dressed like a court jester cowering in a corner. Still, the person could be nobody _but_ Pink Diamond and she had a job to do. 

Connie gathered her wits, lifting her sword and pointing the blade towards the boy despite a part of her feeling _terrible_ about doing so. 

“Pink Diamond!” she boomed, her pitchy 16-year-old voice ruining the effect she hoped it’d have, the boy in the corner’s head snapped up, “I-I am Connie Maheswaran, I am a human being, and I will not let the planet Earth become a colony in this Empire!” 

From all the reactions she’d expected the Diamond to show, the absolute last would be a toothy, boyish grin spreading across his face, _“No way!”_

“Uhm…uh, Pink Diamond!” the Diamond stood up, not an ounce of threat in the action―she was _taller_ than him for crying out loud! “Y-You will be coming with me to” he got closer, the grin only getting brighter, “to Earth and you will” he stood across Connie, one of his eyes was an expected bright pink with a dark diamond-shaped pupil, the other was simply brown. A completely normal, boring brown much like her own. “be bubbled and will remain that way until―” he put a gloved hand on Connie’s cheek, she cringed from the unwanted touch but persisted, “um, you will _remain_ that way until the other Diamonds agree to―” he began stroking her cheek with one hand and his own with his other in silent awe, “ _What are you doing!?”_

“I haven’t seen another human in ages.” he squished Connie’s cheek, he grinned again, “Oh, you’re gorgeous!” 

_“W-What!?”_ she sputtered, backing away. Was he _flirting_ with her? What the hell was going on?

“I love your hair!” he put his fingers through her short black hair, marveling at every tangle, “And your eyes!” This was definitely the weirdest intimidation tactic she’d ever faced. Pink Diamond eyed her sword, “Is that for me?” 

“No!” she stepped back, keeping the sword pointed, “I’m here to destabilize your form!”

“Destabilize me?” he cocked his head to the side, one of his pink ringlets shifted in front of his face. He wasn’t scared, more _confused_ like Connie had said something stupid, “You can’t.” 

She squared her shoulders, “You can’t stop me, Diamond. I will leave here with your Gem in my han—“

“No, no, silly, I mean you _literally_ cannot destabilize me. I mean, there is one way but then you’d have more problems to deal with.” he interjected, “Look—“ he shifted his attention to the ground, “can y’all fetch me a Destabilizer, please?” 

Connie’s own confusion over an alien tyrant using ‘y’all’ and the fact that he was talking to the floor was quickly washed over with curiosity as a slot in the floor opened and a crystalline Destabilizer rose up on a pedestal, its hilt was held by a peculiar creature that Pink gently patted before the pedestal lowered. 

“Thank you.” he chimed, the creature chirped something back before the slot closed. 

“What was…”

“I call them Pebbles, they make whatever I say. They're very kind!” he turned over the Destabilizer in his gloved hands; his expression darkened slightly, his voice quieted, “The other Diamonds don’t like it when I tell them ‘thank you’, they get…upset with me.” he shook his head and the smile was back, “Anyways!” 

He took off one of his gloves, revealing more human-seeming flesh. Connie’s eyebrow quirked up—the clothing Gems wore were just as much a projection as their body from what Connie gathered, they weren’t able to change clothes without first disrupting their forms or by putting clothes _over_ their form clothes; this Pink Diamond just kept getting stranger and stranger. 

With his glove fully off, Pink Diamond aimed the Destabilizer at his arm. Connie narrowed her eyes,

“What are you...” he plunged the blunt prongs into his flesh, _“DOING!?”_

Veins of light raced up his forearm, just like all the other Gems Connie had seen be destabilized, the one difference was that he wasn’t dissipating into his Gem. He just stood there stiff with his teeth gritted and shuddering as the veins crawled up his arm. Like it...hurt. 

In a fluid, impulsive movement she threw her sword aside and knocked the Destabilizer out of his hands, sending it clattering against the smooth floor with a tinkling sound. Connie drew back—she’d just helped a Diamond. The Diamond that was currently trying to hollow out her planet―Connie had just helped him. 

Pink Diamond looked just as shocked, his heterochromatic eyes wide; he shook his arm until the light faded and awkwardly pinned it to his side, rubbing it slightly.

“Okay!” Connie hissed, “I believe you. You...you didn’t have to do that.” she sighed, “W-Why can’t you destabilize, though?” 

He looked out the window to the looming head of the elusive White Diamond before speaking again, he’s voice low as if he was afraid of being heard,“Pearl thinks it’s because I’m half-organic.” 

“...Half-organic?” 

“Human.” he smiled sheepishly, “I’m half-human. Don’t tell anybody.” 

Connie felt her brain split in half, “Huh?!” she pulled at her hair, “Is that even possible?! How— _What?!_ This is... _eugggghhhh!!”_ she groaned heavily, “I don’t understand _any_ of this.” 

“I’m sorry this isn’t what you wanted. Are you okay?” 

“No! Yes? I don’t know!” she rubbed her temples, “So you’re just a _boy?”_

“Well, _that’s_ a complicated subject but sure, if it makes it easier for you, I’m a boy.” he snorted, the same melodic nature of his voice just as evident in his laugh, “Nobody knows I’m only half-Diamond other than the other Diamonds and Pearl. If it got out it’d be… _bad._ I’m the first Gem-Human hybrid ever, my mom fell in love with a human man and they had me.” 

She didn’t even want to _think_ about the logistics of that relationship, “So the _real_ Pink Diamond is here somewhere?” 

His face paled, he sucked on one side of his cheek, “No, i-it’s just me. I’m Pink Diamond.” 

“But…?”

“To have me, my mom had to give up her gem. She basically _turned into me_. It went weird though, her Gem rotated when she did it which is why it looks like that.” his hand hovered over the rotated diamond in his stomach, “She’s gone. I inherited all her stuff…even her first and only colony—Earth.” 

She sneered, trying to assume any sort of menace that’d counteract the Connie he’d just seen, “Earth _will not_ become your colony, Pink.” 

He shrunk into himself, his nails digging into his skin, “It’s not really my choice.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“What’s your name? I think you said it when you were threatening me but I was kinda too shocked to register it.” 

She crossed her arms, he was dodging her question; she pushed her glasses up her nose bridge again, “Connie. Connie Maheswaran.” 

His eyes went starry, his diamond-shaped pupils dilating and a goofy smile taking over his features, “ _You’re_ Connie Maheswaran?” 

“Uh...yeah?” 

Without a word, he grabbed her hand and dragged her to another part of his room. Despite him being a few inches shorter, his hand absolutely engulfed hers, leaving her no room to escape. If she had held onto her sword she could just lob his arm off in one swing as she’d done to so, _so_ many Homeworld Gems before—but he was half-human, she doubted the sword would give the same clean, goreless result she was used to. 

Pink Diamond pressed his hand into a recess in the wall causing the wall itself to split open and reveal a cavernous room with geometric pillars that twisted and spun around the room. A harmonic hum permeated throughout the space like breathing, rising and falling. Connie felt as though she was entering the maw of some unseen beast that was just a moment away from snapping at her. Pink pulled her across a runway that led to a massive ornate vanity with an equal massive mirror, one befitting for a Diamond; Pink’s energy was electric, he had a manic grin on his face that seemed to get brighter with every passing second. 

Many, many more of those Pebble creatures poked their heads out from nooks and crannies all around the space, chirping amongst themselves as Connie passed but immediately ducking away once she spotted them. Pink Diamond only waved at them and kept an iron grip that she wouldn’t have expected from his looks; he released his hold once they reached the vanity. He ducked under, searching for something. Connie’s eyes scanned the surface of the vanity: it was covered with reports written in Gem Glyph with tiny doodles in the margins, a basin full of small, smooth rocks, makeup, and two flowers tied together with ribbon―a hibiscus and a rose. 

Connie could almost laugh. Pink Diamond with a rose on his vanity, could it _be_ more ironic? Pink Diamond had _shattered_ Rose Quartz, why would he ever want a reminder of the whole ordeal? Was he just that heartless?

Well, it had been his _mother_ who’d shattered the leader of the rebellion―Connie’s posthumous hero, Rose Quartz―not him. She didn’t think _this_ Pink Diamond―the boy who said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, laughed in C major and had apologized for foiling Connie’s attempted kidnapping of him―could shatter somebody even if it’d save his life. 

_He’s a_ **_Diamond._ ** she reminded herself, _Don’t be stupid._

“Here it is!!” he shouted, dragging out a large trunk that was, surprisingly, a pale blue, “Oh my stars, this is _amazing!”_ he pressed his hand against the side, the top of the box slid off. He threw his entire body inside, throwing aside little trinkets like an Empire City postcard or a ticket stub to a Dogcopter movie, all things he couldn’t have gotten on Homeworld. He squealed with excitement, pulling a stack of books out of the trunk, “You!” he opened one of the books and handed it to her, “It’s you!” 

Connie gasped. Right in the corner of the inside cover, written in neat handwriting:

_Connie Maheswaran, age 10_

_Beach City, Delmarva_

She closed the book, her mouth gaping. It was _the Spirit Morph Saga!_ Her absolute favorite book series, the reason she’d stepped up to join the resistance, the stories that she told to herself to keep her hopes up! She’d always assumed her mother had thrown the books out so Connie wouldn’t get too invested in fantasies but here they were―thousands of light-years away from home in the trunk of a half-human sorta-tyrant.

“H-How?” she held the book, book one: _the Unfamiliar Familiar_ , against her chest, “How do you have these?” 

“Blue got them for me!” he explained, hopping onto the table of the vanity, “When I first got here she used to go to Earth and have her Pearl get things for me to cheer me up! A lot of it is stolen, I think but I learned how to read English from this!” 

Connie cocked her head to the side, “Were you not born on Homeworld?” 

His face went ashen, “Huh?”

“You said when you ‘first got here’...are you not from here?” 

“I don’t…I…” he swallowed hard, reaching to grab one of the books _Destiny’s End_ , “Book five is my favorite.” 

“Er…I liked it, too, I guess…except the ending.” 

“What!?”

“50-pages for the description of a _wedding cake_ is a little much, right?” she chortled, rubbing over the worn pages with her finger, “I mean it’s a little stupid.” Pink Diamond looked like he’d been slapped, his smile dimming, and his posture straightening seemingly reflexively. He pulled his knees towards his chest, 

“Did I upset you?” 

“How would you…?”

“Y-You didn’t like the ending. I said I did.” tears welled up in his eyes, a few dripped down his cheeks and into the rock basin. The rock it hit glowed a soft pink before opening big, round eyes—a Pebble, freshly made. He created the Pebbles with his tears. 

Connie looked around to the thousands of Pebbles that surrounded them, something in her chest twisted. She reached out to Pink with an extended hand, he flinched back. That thing in her chest twisted further. 

“Pink. You can like the ending, it’s okay.” 

“Really?”

“Positive. I-It sounded like a good cake, right?” 

He laughed again, it was softer (a G-minor) but it was a laugh. His hands reached up to the two flowers, untying them and using the sheer ribbon to tie up his curly pink hair, a move that only made him look younger. He took the hibiscus and tenderly slipped it behind Connie’s ear, “My friends call me Steven. Well, _friend_ but still.” 

_Steven?_

“Steven? That’s not a Gem name.” 

“I know. I like it better though, only Pearl calls me it. You can too, now, because we’re friends.” 

“We’re not…we _can’t_ be friends, Pi― _Steven_. I just met you, I literally came here to fight and kidnap you.” 

“This is the most anybody’s talked to me in years.” Steven said, not a hint of sarcasm in his gentle voice. He hopped off the vanity, “We’re friends. Besides, I―” he stood stiff, big glops of tears that seemed too large for his body to produce suddenly spilling out of his eyes, “Connie Maheswaran. Hide.”

“Whoa, Steven, are you okay?”

“It’s Blue. _Hide!”_ he broke off into a run towards the entrance to the main room, his shoes slipping against the surface. 

“Diamond!?” Connie breathed out, stumbling to find somewhere to hide. She wedged herself behind a rotating pillar as the Pebbles scattered, some helped out of the way by Steven scooping them up and placing them on a ledge so they could escape. 

The rumbling drone of the door opening caused Steven to freeze in his place, just inches away from the entrance. A thin Gem entered first, crying the same thick tears but somehow looking graceful while doing it. She had an egg-shaped white gem on her forehead and wore a pink turtleneck dress with tulle fabric acting as billowing sleeves that came to white cuffs, “She is still here, Blue Diamond, just as you wished.” 

Connie stifled a gasp as Blue Diamond entered her field of view. She was _massive_ , Connie could only see the bottom portion of her two-toned dress from where she was hiding. She made Steven look like a speck of dust, 

“Pink!” her tone was sharp, her accented voice reverberating against the walls, “We are not done talking about your little _stunt._ Trying to commandeer a dropship from the Rubies―what were you thinking!? White is _very_ unhappy with you. I can’t keep making excuses for you when you keep getting _worse!”_

Steven sighed, “I know. I’m sorry.” 

“And now we have rebels from _Earth_ storming the palace! Because _you_ left the bay doors open.” Connie furrowed her brow. They’d come through by Warp―not by ship. “I don’t understand you, Pink. You’ve already seen what happens when you upset White enough, why would you keep _pushing!_ And―!?” Steven stiffened, hands gripping his sheer skirt “Where did this sword come from? _Why_ do you have a Destabilizer?” 

“I-I…”

“Pink Diamond asked me to bring them to her so she can defend herself if the rebels intrude on this space, my Diamond.” the white Gem explained, lying through her teeth with a pleasant expression and a gentle voice. 

“That’s… _admirable_ at least.” Blue Diamond huffed, “Pearl. Stay with her until we handle this whole situation, do not allow Pink to leave her room for the next five cycles.” 

Steven sputtered, “Blue, c’mon, I―” 

“Or would you prefer I bring you to the Tower? Or to White herself?” he immediately quieted, hugging himself tightly. Blue sighed, her voice softening to an almost patronizing degree, “I’m trying to be fair here, Pink. It’ll all be easier once you finish your colonization, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“Yellow and I will take you to visit the Zoo once this is all over, Starlight. How does that sound?”

“Good.” Steven’s voice couldn’t sound more distant, “It sounds great.” 

“Okay, it’s settled then.” she began to walk away leaving the Pearl in front of Steven, “See you soon, Pink.” 

The door rumbled shut, the globs of tears coming from the Pearl dried but Steven was still sniffling. He fell to the ground, curling into himself and sobbing. Connie began to move from her hiding space, not caring about the other Gem seeing her―she could take the Pearl in a fight surely, 

“Steven,” she whispered, “are yo―”

“Oh, Steven, I’m so sorry.” the Pearl, or just ‘Pearl’, broke from her stance, going over to comfort the boy, “I’m going to touch you now, okay?” Steven nodded, she carefully brought him to his feet, even she was considerably taller than him, “It’s okay.” 

“Why does she keep bringing _it_ up?” Steven whimpered, Pearl wrapped her arms around him. He held on tight to her. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Thanks for c-covering for me, Pearl.” 

“Always.” she lovingly caressed his hair, “I need to ask you something and I won’t get mad no matter the answer, well two things.”

“...Go ahead.”

“Were you using the Disruptor on yourself?” 

“Y-Yes, but it was for a reason this time!” 

“And I suppose that relates to my second question―whose sword is that?” 

Steven pulled away from the hug, “Her name is Connie Maheswaran.”

Pearl’s pale blue eyes widened, “ _The_ Connie? From your story?” 

“Yes!!” he turned back to her hiding spot, “You can come out now, Connie Maheswaran!” 

She awkwardly shuffled out from behind the pillar, “Hi…”

“A human.” Pearl narrowed her eyes, “From the rebellion, I assume?” 

“Y-Yes, ma’am.” 

Why’d she just call her _ma’am!?_ Connie mentally slapped herself, she supposed it was from the authority the Gem suddenly exuded. She had gone from appearing as no more than a sentient toy to having the same pull towards her as Bismuth or Nanafua had back home. 

“Hm.” she sized Connie up, “You’re young.”

She frowned, she wasn’t _that_ young, “I’m sixteen.”

“Oh, I’m…” Steven blanked, “Pearl, how old am I?” 

“Seventeen.” Pearl informed him immediately, she gave him a smile, “Your eighteenth birthday isn’t too far away, that’s a _very_ exciting day for humans.” her warmness turned back to edge as she focused back on Connie, “You were sent here to try and prevent the colonization of Earth, correct?”

“Yes.”

“By shattering him, I presume?”

“No! God, no,” Pearl raised an eyebrow, Connie placed an affected hand over her heart, “I was just going to destabilize his form. We were just going to use his Gem as leverage to bargain for Earth’s liberation. Shattering Steven was _never_ in the plans, I promise.” 

“You called him Steven.” she almost looked impressed, “From which I can assume you know that he’s half-human, which means you’ve won his trust in a very small amount of time. I commend you for that, Connie.” 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“The only problem is he trusts too easily.” 

Connie sucked on her bottom lip. It felt like she was taking a test she _really_ should’ve studied harder for. 

“Pearl, what are you doing?” Steven questioned, nervously fretting a good two feet from their conversation. 

“Steven, I’m going to need you to give me and Miss Maheswaran ten minutes alone.” she ordered, Steven’s eyebrows drew up, 

“Pearl, you really don’t have to―”

“ _Alone._ Steven.” 

He nodded, slowly backing out while giving Connie a remorseful look, “Ten minutes.” he gave her one last wave as the doors fully shut. Leaving just Pearl and herself, 

“Can you use that sword?”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Pearl nodded, in a flash, she pulled something from her gem. A long, thin staff connected to a spear that swirled to a point, she twirled it effortlessly then pointed it to Connie, “Show me.”

Connie’s eyes widened, rethinking her previous assumption that she could take on Pearl, “M-My sword is outside, I have to go grab it.” 

She rolled her eyes, summoning a simple cutlass from her Gem and tossing it to Connie who fumbled to catch it. It was lighter than the sword Bismuth had made for her and far less flashy but she was confident in her ability to compensate. Pearl straightened her posture, she pursed her lips, “Widen your stance, lower your body.” 

“Uhm…okay.” she followed her directions, “Like this?” 

“Perfect.” 

Pearl lunged at her, jabbing her spear at every exposed part of Connie’s body. Connie ducked and dodged, her training kicking in as expected. Pearl parried her every strike in a way that seemed _easy_ . The vibrations of their collisions sent shivers down her spine. Connie ducked under another attack from Pearl. She felt out of her depth, so far she’d only fought Quartz soldiers or the occasional Ruby fusion—never a _Pearl_. Pearl was graceful and fought like she was doing ballet, weightless strikes along with elegant blows, effortlessly evading Connie’s every attack. 

“You’re giving too much heads-up before you strike!” Pearl chided, evading yet another of Connie’s attempts. “Don’t give me time to think!” 

“Okay...?”

What was her game? Why was she _coaching_ Connie on how to beat her? 

The next strike she attempted came without a moment of warning like Pearl had advised. It very nearly hit the Gem too!

“Excellent!” Pearl rebuffed the attack with a proud smile. 

It went back and forth like that for some time. The two of them fought with the occasional helpful tip from Pearl that leveled the playing field before Pearl fought back even harder. Connie huffed, sweat dripping from her brow.

“Ma’am, I—“ she slid under a barrage of laser blasts from the tip of Pearl’s spear (she’d have to freak out about how _cool_ this was later), “I don’t understand why you’re doing this.” 

“I need to know if you can—umph!” she blocked another attack from Connie, “I need to know if you’ve got what it takes to protect Steven.” 

“Protect Steven?” she parried the staff of Pearl’s spear, “I told you, nobody in the resistance wants to hurt Steven! We just need a bargaining chip.” 

“Not from the humans! From the _Diamonds.”_  
“From the…” she relented, backing away, “what?” 

“There’s _never_ been anyone like Steven, Connie. The Diamonds don’t know what to do with him,” she ran a hand through her short peachy hair, “sometimes...even I don’t. For a time I and a few others tried to protect Steven from this place…but we failed and now all I want is for Steven to be back where he belongs―on Earth.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want you to take Steven, take him back to Earth, and never let him return here.” her spear disappeared into twinkling lights as well as Connie’s cutlass, “The Diamonds are losing patience with him not living up to his mother and it’s starting to take an emotional toll on him―beyond the physical.” she wiped at her eye, “There are weeks where he doesn’t talk at all, whenever he’s in public he just freezes up and shuts down, he’s absolutely _given up_ on trying to get any of them to use his right pronouns, and he…he’s recently taken to trying to see how far he can get his destabilization fissures to go. This place isn’t good for him; I try to support him but I think he has the best chance where he can live as himself.”

“I-I understand,” she nodded, Steven had seemed so bubbly and happy but even in the short time she’d been in his presence he’d gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, “but if I can’t allow him to return―how will we use him as in bargaining with the Diamonds?”

Pearl crouched so Connie had to look down at her, “You’re a smart girl, Connie. You’ll figure out another way.” 

The heartfelt praise made her chest swell, “I won’t let you down, ma’am.”

“Ten!” Steven’s voice came, the two turned to see the door opening again with a very distressed Diamond on the other side, “It’s been ten minutes!” 

Pearl smiled, “Right on time, Steven! I just finished talking with Connie here.” 

“Are you guys…okay?” 

“We’re good!” Connie gave a thumbs up, she looked to Pearl who gave her a small nod. The Gem walked over to Steven and knelt so they were eye-level, 

“You know I love you, Steven, don’t you?” 

“Of course, Pearl.”

“I only want the best for you, you know that?”

“Yeah…what’s this about? What’s happening?”

“I believe that your time on Homeworld has come to an end and that it’s time you go back to your real home. Earth.” 

Steven’s eyes widened, “I’m leaving?” 

“Yes. With Connie.” she stood, “The Crystal Gems will take good care of you.”

“B-but what about―”

“Don’t worry about here. This planet has turned in your absence and it will continue to do so but, I must admit,” she lovingly cupped his cheek, “the stars won’t shine as bright.” 

Steven leaned into her touch, “The Diamonds. If they find out I escaped under your watch they’ll―”

“They’ll bubble me like the others, I’m sure of it.”

“S-Say that I destabilized you.” he urged, Pearl looked taken aback, “They’re already mad at me and they’ll go easier on you if they think I did it.” 

“Then they’ll go harder on _you_.”

“They can’t go much harder.” 

There was a beat between them that said more than either of them could. Pearl pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, “Go get your things and say goodbye to your Pebbles, you have to go.”

Connie stood by as Steven went around grabbing his sparse amount of belongings from the room while whispering bittersweet goodbyes, she wondered how long Steven had lived in the room, effectively cut off from contact with just his own creations and the occasional appearance of Pearl. The rebel base was _full_ of people, Connie hadn’t been fully alone once since she’d joined. There was always Peridot and Lapis fighting over a dumb Canadian drama they were obsessed with or Lars playing video games and cursing with every breath he took or Sadie tuning her guitar and singing quietly―there was never silence as Steven had experienced for so long. She adjusted the hibiscus flower tucked behind her ear that had surprisingly stayed on throughout the entire battle; the mission had definitely gone sideways in a way Connie hadn’t expected. 

Pearl summoned something from her gem, “I assume this belongs to you?” it was the gadget she’d used to get into the room in the first place, “Had to get it off the panel before Blue Diamond saw it. It’s good engineering.” 

She grabbed the device from Pearl’s hands, “Thanks! My friend Peridot made it.”

“A Peridot? On Earth?” Pearl laughed, “My! Things are always changing there.” 

“Have you ever been?” Connie prompted, “To Earth?”

The Gem sighed wistfully, “A long time ago.” 

“Okay! I-I’m ready, I think.” Steven held in his arms a small collection of things all wrapped up in a too-small red shirt embellished with a yellow star much like the one on her own jumpsuit. 

“Great.” Connie acknowledged, “The Warp pad isn’t too far from here, we just have to get through these corridors without being caught. Then we’ll head straight to the Temple.” 

“Alright. Good. Yes.” he wrung his hands together, “Can I…can I say goodbye before we go?” 

“Yeah, ‘course, Steven. I’ll be at the door.”

She collected her sword from the ground watching their teary goodbye by the exit, they were hugging again and whispering something that was lost to her. Steven squeezed one last time and Pearl placed a kiss on his forehead, then they broke apart. “...and please look after Garnet and Amethyst.” he pleaded, the Gem nodded with conviction; Steven wiped at his water-stained eyes before he walked towards Connie, 

“Ok. L-let’s go to Earth…!” 

“Once you two leave I will disrupt my own form,” Pearl informed, Connie and Steven exchanged a look of worry, “it will be painless, I assure you. I will tell the Diamonds that a _rebel_ did it to me― _not_ Steven. I will say I have no other recollection of the incident.” 

“Understood, ma’am!” 

“Be safe, Pearl. Please. I love you.”

The Gem looked at the boy with total adoration, “I love you.” Steven turned and placed his hands over the panel, resulting in the door to the hallways sliding open. He grabbed her wrist and began to pull her along, “And Connie?” the girl turned to catch one last glimpse of Pearl, she gave her a small nod of respect , “Good luck.” 

The door shut with a great clang. Steven’s grip on her arm tightened, his mismatched eyes looking at every inch of the corridor with anxiety. “I’ve never been outside of my room without Pearl or one of the Diamonds before today!” they began walking, Connie using her free arm to hold out her sword, “I-I left earlier today but it didn’t go well―I’m glad you’re here now, Connie. I don’t want to be alone right now.” 

“Was that why Blue Diamond was mad at you?” she asked in hushed tones, “She said something about you commandeering a ship.”

He blushed, his face getting even more pink, “I…It was stupid.” 

“Almost as stupid as coming along with your ‘kidnapper’ to an alien planet?”

“Yeah, almost.” he snorted, he held his bundle of things closer, “I was trying to get off-planet. Gems usually do whatever I say because I’m a Diamond so I told the Rubies to give me their ship, but I guess Blue told them to ignore whatever I say. Like I’m a nobody. I’m _just_ as important as them but they never listen to me.” 

Connie checked the next hallway, she gave the signal for Steven to follow her, “Where did you wanna go?”

“Anywhere. This galaxy is so big and beautiful and scary and strange and I’ve only seen a _fraction_ of it,” the music in his voice crescendoed, “I want to see it all!” he looked at her, “Especially Earth!”

“Earth?” she raised an eyebrow, “Why Earth, out of everything in the galaxy? It’s kind of _boring,_ honestly. You’ve got 50-foot-tall superpowered women, all we have is, like, school.”

Steven shrugged, “I’ve never been to school! I’ve never seen rain or snow or clouds, I’ve never seen people dance because they wanted to and not just because I asked, I’ve never been a human being!!” Connie grinned at the sight of his starry eyes, the way he described Earth made it seem so _precious_ , “Everything in the books made Earth seem so _magical_.”

“A lot of that is just fantasy, y’know. Birds don’t talk in real life and nobody has powers like Lisa on Earth.”

“But everything’s always changing. Isn’t that magic?” 

Connie chuckled, they finally entered the Warp room, completely cleared out thanks to Bismuth and Lapis, “I guess so.” 

Steven pointed to the largest Warp in the middle, “That’s the Galaxy Warp, it’ll take us straight to Earth in a snap.”

“Great!” she mentally went over Bismuth’s instructions. 

  1. Infiltrate the Homeworld Palace (Check!)
  2. Find Pink Diamond’s Quarters (Check!)
  3. Disrupt Pink Diamond’s Form (Uhhh, no)
  4. Do Not Allow Her to Reform Before Reaching the Temple (Big to-do)



“Uh, Steven?” she sheathed her sword and put her hands on her hips, “Bismuth told me not to let you reform before we reached the Temple, she said that Diamonds have a way of communicating with each other and that if you saw any of the trip you could just, like, broadcast your location.” 

“That’s correct.”

“Oh!” she hadn’t expected him to just give that up, “So…I need to blindfold you somehow.” 

“I know!” he unwrapped his bundle of belongings, taking his things in one hand and the shirt in the other. He flexed the hand that held his things and a pale pink bubble surrounded them; he stuck the bubble in the crook of his elbow and quickly placed the shirt over his head, his pale hair tufting out of the top. “Is this good?” 

Connie took a moment to try and understand how her vision of the fearsome Pink Diamond had gone from a 15-foot-tall space dictator that wanted her planet dead to a barely 5-foot-7 teenager who thought Earth was magical and currently had a shirt stuck over his head in just one hour. She shook her head and laughed, 

“Yeah, it’s great, Steven.” she took his arm and guided him to the Warp, the crystal beneath them hummed once they stepped on. She pulled out yet another device courtesy of Peridot from her pocket―a way to hijack the Warp so she could use it as a human, she just needed to type in her destination and it’d send her right where she needed to go. She entered the coordinates of the Galaxy Warp zone where Bismuth had directed her to go. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” he said, his voice wavering slightly, “Into the unknown, right?” 

The Warp began to glow blue beneath their feet. Connie took his hand, carefully lacing her fingers between his. 

“Into the unknown.” 

  
  
  



	2. Funny Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back babey  
> here's more of our king himbo and our queen badass  
> stay safe, luv ya
> 
> cw: misgendering

2

Funny Story 

Glowing blue light rushed in front of her vision, obscuring the cold, star-studded vacuum of space.

She’d never get used to Warp travel. It was just so _sci-fi_ and so _alien,_ neither of which were adjectives that could describe Connie’s life _before_ the Crystal Gems. Her nights of reading alone in her room and hours of practicing violin had been switched for something so much _grander_. Fourteen-year-old Connie never would’ve believed that in just two short years she’d be stealing away a space prince with a sword strapped to her side. 

She also wouldn’t believe that her parents wouldn’t be there to see it. 

_Don’t go there now,_ she thought, _you’re on a mission._

Pink Diamond ( _Steven_ , she corrected) held onto her arm with an iron grip, his toes pointed daintily and the rosy curls that escaped from his makeshift mask whipping in the windy Warp. 

“Are you okay, Steven?” 

He nodded, “What’s going o-on?” 

“We’re in the Warp stream, it’s really…” how could she describe it? It was so unlike anything else, “pretty.”

“...Can I peek?” he turned his face towards her even though it was still covered by the shirt, “Just for a moment, I promise.”

Hm. A second wouldn’t hurt right? 

“Just one second.” 

He shakily removed his hand from Connie’s arm and lifted the hem of the shirt from over his eyes. The blue glittered against his mix-matched eyes, the wonder on his face was almost enough for her to let him go without the blindfold for the entire trip. His breathy gasp of “Wow.” nearly made the choice inevitable. But she remembered Bismuth’s warning. He was a Diamond, no matter how innocent he may seem, that fact hadn’t changed.

“Alright, you gotta…” she mimed lowering the hem, he followed her motion and put his hand back on her arm. 

“I’ve never Warped before!” he exclaimed, his smile evident in his voice, “Yellow and Blue always use the ships―I can’t believe I’ve missed out on this! Thanks for letting me look, Connie Maheswaran.” 

He always said her first and last name, she noticed. Maybe it was to remind him that she was actually with him; she couldn’t imagine how surreal this must be for him (probably a smidge more surreal than it was for her), to suddenly be confronted with the owner of the name he’d seen scribbled in books for the past six years. 

“No problem, Steven.” she noticed the outside change, a sign of their destination approaching, “Get ready. We’re landing.” 

His grip tightened, she stiffened and held out her free arm to balance herself as they were deposited onto another Warp pad this time one surrounded by smaller copies atop a platform in the center of some ocean. Connie always assumed it was the Atlantic. 

Steven let out a soft breath, “Where are we?” he smacked his lips, “Smells different.”

“I can’t tell you that, sorry.” She’d never seen the Galaxy Warp before that day, it was grand and sparkling like all of Homeworld’s tech apparently―a direct gateway to outer space, somewhere the Crystal Gems had been locked out of for so long. She breathed in the salty air and pulled out her phone, “I have to tell the Gems we’re here.”

He visibly tensed, hands running over the glassy surface of the bubble that held his things, “A-Are they coming here?”

“Yeah, they told me to tell them when I came back. Homeworld is too dangerous for them to stay on-planet long.” she briefly looked up from her screen and her half-composed text, “...Is that okay?”

“Mmhm!” he exclaimed, a bit too quickly. He scuffed his shoes against the polished floor. 

_Of course, he’s nervous. He’s Pink Diamond and they’re the group that had tried to shatter her...him._

She reached for his hand, pleasantly squeezing it, “It’ll be okay, Steven. I promise.” 

His fingers flexed around her’s, “What’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“What you’re doing―what is it?” 

“I’m holding your hand. I-It’s something people do to comfort other people. Make people feel better.” 

“Are...are you trying to comfort me?” 

“Yes…?”

“Oh.” 

He squeezed her hand back. 

She quickly finished the text and sent it off, a familiar bubble of anxiety began to grow in her chest. There was no telling how the Gems would react to Steven, to seeing Pink Diamond completely _not_ reduced to an inert gem but instead holding her hand with a shirt over his head. Hopefully, she’d be able to get a word in before they leaped into action to try and finish the job themselves. Steven squeezed his hand again. 

“You feel...not good.” he muttered softly, she chuckled, 

“Yeah. I do. How’d you know.”

“I...you _feel_ not good to me.” 

Could he feel other people’s emotions? Gems had abilities, that was a given, but the powers that a Diamond may’ve been afforded might be far beyond what even the Gems Connie knew could manage. 

“Steven, what... _powers_ do you have?” It was a strange question to ask somebody who mostly appeared as a teenage boy but it was a necessary one. Steven sheepishly clicked his tongue, 

“Oh. I don’t have any.” 

“Wh... _what?”_

“Yellow says it’s because I’m half-organic. The most I can do are bubbles. The magic can’t get through my human half but my gem half _does_ have magic.” 

Her eyebrows furrowed, “How do you know that? Are they...separate…?” his energy shifted, just slightly. Just enough for Connie to realize she’d stepped an inch into the wrong direction, “Nevermind.” 

She moved to sit on the Homeworld Warp and he followed her, sitting close enough that the sheer fabric on his skirt brushed against the denim of her jumpsuit. Sighing, she looked up to the inky black sky, squinting to try and identify any constellation to pass the time. For as tuned into technology as Peridot was, it was almost comical how long it took her to respond to a text, _especially_ if she and Lapis were wrapped up in another binge session of that dumb show. 

“What’s that sound?” 

She broke away from the sky, Steven had twisted his body towards the horizon line where the last bits of light were fading away, “What sound?”

“It’s like…” he imitated the sound of waves lapping against the platform, “do you hear it?” 

“That’s the ocean. Y’know, water?”

“Ocean…” he sounded so mystified by the concept, “we don’t have those back home.” he leaned his head back, “Sounds nice.”

“You’ve never seen an ocean before?” 

“I don’t…” his voice faltered in G-minor, “I don’t think so. They have water in the Zoo but it doesn’t sound like this.” Connie set her jaw. _Ah, yes. The Zoo._ “You feel bad again, Connie Maheswaran.” 

Is he _sure_ he doesn’t have magic? She remembered the Pebbles, sentient beings that sprung up from his tears―did he even realize he was doing it? 

“I’m alright.” 

The two sat in silence for a while longer, just the sounds of waves and the occasional plane passing overhead to fill in the gaps. She pulled the hibiscus from behind her ear, rolling the stem between her fingers. Connie rehearsed what she could possibly say to the Gems so they didn’t immediately try to put Steven in a bubble―everything seemed so hard to explain, the entire rebellion was against the person Connie was _still_ holding hands with. She had a hard time processing everything herself, the Gems might not try to process it at all. 

“Connie Maheswaran?”

“Yeah, Steven?”

“Could you... _not_ tell your Crystal Gems that I’m half-organic? I-I shouldn’t have told you anyways, it’s not right for me to say out loud; I was just _excited_ and _stupid_ and I-I’m a Diamond and I have to-to act like one, I’m not human.”

Her eyebrows drew together, “It’s okay, I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to but it’d probably explain a _lot_ if I did tell them.” 

“It’s better if they don’t know.”

“Steven, I―” her words burned up as a column of blue light exploded from the Warp directly across from them, Connie stiffened, “they’re here. Deep breath.”

He gulped down air, squaring his shoulders and sitting straighter. He pulled his hand away and set it in his lap, sitting as still as a statue. She wondered for a second if she needed to remind him to _exhale_ too. 

The light dissipated leaving the three Gems Connie had come to know as family standing with big grins on their faces, 

“Atta girl, Connie!” Bismuth cheered, “You showed those uppercrusts what’s _what!_ Now where is her…” she seemed to finally realize that Connie wasn’t alone, “who’s that?”

“Uh, hi, guys.” she stood, Steven reached his hand up which Connie took to pull him up, “So. Funny story.” 

Lapis narrowed her eyes, “Who is she? Where’s Pink Diamond’s gem?” 

She rocked on her heels, “Right here. Th-this is Pink Diamond.” 

Steven waved, Peridot blinked, “Wait, _what!?”_

“Maheswaran.” Bismuth crossed her arms, Connie flinched inwardly at the last name treatment, “Explain.” 

She searched frantically for the words, “Well, uh, h-he came willingly. There was no need to bubble him!” 

“Came _willingly…_ ” Peridot flailed her arms, “why does she _look like that?!_ What’s wrong with her gem? Why is she so... _small?_ ” 

Peridot was one to talk, she barely came up to Connie’s shoulders. Bismuth took a step further, looming over Steven, “Diamond. What’s your game here? Shapeshiftin’ because you got _caught?_ That ain’t gonna save you.”

She felt Steven’s hand reach for her’s, Lapis yelped, “Get away from her!” 

Suddenly, a jet of water shot out from the ocean to blast Steven a good 15 feet away. He fell on his hands and knees, the fabric of the shirt sticking to his face. She heard a few hacking coughs from him, her heart leapt to her throat, “Steven!” she shouted, scrambling over to him. 

He looked up at her voice, she pulled the shirt off of his head. He wiped at his face, blinking a few times to get the saltwater out of them, “Wha? What just―”

“C’mon, deep breaths. In and out.” she turned around to see the Gems sharing a befuddled look, “Can we...can we just go to the Temple now? Speak there?” 

Peridot wiped flecks of water from her yellow-tinted visor, “ _Sure,_ why _don’t_ we bring the person who wants us all shattered straight into our operation!” 

“It’s not like that, Peri, I promise. I’ll explain everything.”

The green Gem motioned towards Steven, “Why doesn’t _she?_ She’s right here!” 

“She... _he_ doesn’t do well with new people.” she said, remembering Pearl’s gripes over Steven’s behavior on Homeworld. Steven lifted his head, pushing his mop of curly hair away from his eyes. Connie searched for the ribbon and his bubble of things that had been knocked away by Lapis’ attack and found them she knelt and handed the ribbon back to him. He gave her a weak smile and tied his hair back, still refusing to meet any of the Gem’s eyes. 

“Connie, why are you being so nice to her? You know she’s _Pink_ _Diamond,_ right?” Lapis interrogated, “As in the Diamond that’s trying to _destroy_ your planet?” 

She helped Steven stand, taking the bubble into her own hands, “I know. I can explain.”

“Whatever.” 

The three of them stepped back onto the Warp expectantly staring at Connie and 

Steven. Steven was looking around himself, staring up at the sky then back towards the Homeworld Warp with the shirt held tightly against his chest. 

“Don’t get any ideas, Diamond.” Bismuth sneered, following his gaze, “You won’t be goin’ back to your cushy little palace life for a while.” 

He looked away from it, wrapping his hand around Connie’s which got another round of awkward reactions from the Gems, she led him onto the Warp. He wilted under the gaze of the Gems, his eyes glued to his shoes. 

She squeezed his hand, he squeezed it back. 

◈

The Warp deposited them back in the Temple―well, less of a Temple, more of a beach house Connie had lived in for the past two years with a door to the _real_ Temple that none of them could open. Bismuth ushered them off and wedged herself between Connie and Steven, she looked around the place, “Hey, Peri. Any clue where we could put her?” 

Peridot clicked her tongue, “I _guess_ we could use the Warp space...I’d have to disable the Warp so she can’t use it to escape. Block her gem-type from using it alone. Add a Destabilizing field...yeah, yeah, that could work. Gimme five, ten minutes tops.” 

Connie considered chipping in that he _couldn’t_ be destabilized but bit her tongue, simply nodding along with Peridot’s plans. Lapis hopped off the Warp, sizing up Steven as she passed, “What’s up with her eyes?” he shrank under the question, immediately looking away. Lapis’ eyes widened slightly, “Is it corruption?” 

Steven’s brows furrowed, “...what’s...corruption…?” he murmured like the words were struggling against his mouth. Lapis scoffed, 

“Oh, you do speak! Funny joke, Pink. Tell another.” 

“I…” he shut his mouth, biting down on his lip. 

Bismuth chortled, “A Diamond corrupting―now, I’d pay to see that. Give ‘em a taste of their medicine, huh!” 

Steven didn’t look any less confused, he looked up to Bismuth, quietly asking, “C-Can I be near Connie Maheswaran?”

“No.” she tilted her head towards the bathroom, “Lapis, you mind keeping her in the bathroom until our little tinkerer is done with the holding cell?”

“The bathroom?” Lapis snorted, “Dontcha mean the _think chamber?”_

“I said that _ONCE!”_ Peridot shouted, looking up from her work for a moment. Lapis laughed, taking Steven roughly by the arm and dragging him into the bathroom. Bismuth waited until she heard the lock slide into place before she finally let up on her threatening aura. She pointed to the bubble Connie held, 

“What’s that?”

“His stuff.”

She huffed, “Connie. Be real with me here, what the _hell_ happened? I thought I was pretty clear when I said to destabilize her…” 

“I know, I know but things kinda went sideways. H-He didn’t even _try_ to fight me, I did everything else, I did the speech too!”

“Connie, your speeches are terrible.” Peridot cut in, “They make everybody feel bad.” 

“Peridot!” she hissed, “But, yes, he was more _excited_ that I was even there! He showed me a bunch of human stuff he said Blue Diamond had gotten him and he had _my_ books! _Spirit Morph!_ He learned English from them!” she explained, dancing around the whole him being half-human thing, “Then Blue Diamond nearly caught me and his _Pearl_ challenged me to a battle and at the end of it she asked me to take him back to Earth! She _asked_ me!” 

“Wait.” Bismuth pinched her nose bridge, “You fought her Pearl? You saw _Blue Diamond?_ ” 

“Yes! But Bismuth, Blue Diamond was mad at him because he was trying to run _away_ and it wasn’t the first time. Steven doesn’t want to _be_ on Homeworld.”

She tilted her head to the side, her rainbow locs swaying, “Who is Steven?” 

“P-Pink Diamond. He likes to be called Steven, he also likes to be referred to as _he_.” 

Bismuth sighed, placing her calloused hands on Connie’s back, “Come with me for a sec.” she led her outside and sat at the round table overlooking the beach, the moon high in the sky, “Connie. I’m worried.” 

“About?”

“You. You and Pink Diamond.” she tented her hands, “Diamonds are never as helpless as they might seem, they were coded to be as ruthless as possible. Pink Diamond, Steven, _whatever_ she told you to call her―she knows how to get inside people’s heads, make ‘em think they’ve won. You’re a smart girl, you know that, I know that, the whole damn city knows that…but you’re also human.” she looked out to the dark blue ocean, “You believe people can change and grow and evolve but Diamonds _can’t_. They’ve been going at this planet for six thousand years now, they can hold a grudge. Whatever story she told you, don’t believe a word of it. For your own sake.” 

She glared down at the table. She _hated_ when the Gems assumed she didn’t understand, it didn’t happen often but sometimes it felt as though they saw her as a human and nothing more, “Bismuth. He was scared of Blue Diamond. H-His Pearl told me that they’ve done _things_ to him, it didn’t seem like he was faking.” 

The Gem exhaled, “Connie. I―You know we trust you but this situation is too delicate for us to let our guard down.”

“I know, Bismuth.” she frowned.

“Hey.” she gently cupped Connie’s face, “You did a really good job today, kid. I’m so proud of you, I’m just tellin’ ya all this to make sure you don’t get hurt. All you gotta do is make sure she doesn’t try anything while we’re out at the barn, okay?” 

“Mmhm.” 

“Can I get a hug?” She spread her big, muscular arms out, Connie snickered and wrapped her arms around her. Bismuth stroked her hair, “Love ya, Con.”

“Love you, too, Bis.” 

The screen door opened, Peridot poked her head out wearing that smug little grin she got whenever her ideas worked (she argued they worked all the time but it was more a 60/40 chance), “Holding cell is ready! The Warp has been coded so Pink can’t use it without one of us with her as well, I’ve also blocked it from going to the Galaxy Warp―just in case.” 

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about, Peri.” Bismuth slapped her knee, “C’mon, let’s get our guest set up.” 

The three of them walked back into the beach house, the house was now bisected by a yellow forcefield that separated the rest of the house from the small nook where their Warp Pad sat. 

“Hey, Lapis!” Peridot called in her shrill tone, “You can come out now!” 

“Finally!” the blue Gem stalked out of the bathroom, shoving Steven out with her, “She just kept asking me what everything was, ugh!” 

Steven made eye contact with Connie, she gave him a discreet thumbs up, he narrowed his eyes. _Right_ , he probably didn’t know what that meant. He copied the action nonetheless. 

Bismuth clapped her hands, “Alright! Lapis, Peridot, we’re going back to the barn to work on the drill―Connie, are you comfortable staying here to look after Pink Diamond? You don’t have to say yes.”

“Yes. I’m comfortable, I’ll call you guys if anything happens.”

“Or you could just use that fine piece of craftsmanship on your hip right there.” she pointed to her sword, Connie frowned at the thought of using it against Steven but nodded to keep up appearances, “Okay, okay. We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bye.” Lapis ruffled her hair and Peridot shot her finger guns as they walked towards the Warp. 

“See you guys!” 

Peridot tapped a few buttons on her device, “Pink Diamond. In here, step over the threshold.” Steven followed her directions wordlessly, suddenly the forcefield glowed brighter and a small grid of lines appeared across it, “Now, if you even try to escape, you’ll be dissipated in a snap. And it’ll hurt.”

“You would know,” Lapis joked, “you walked right into one during that one mission.”

“Lapis!! I’m trying to be threatening!” 

“Sorry, sorry.”

Bismuth shook her head, “Don’t try anything, Diamond. We’ll be back.”

They disappeared into light, leaving just her and Steven once again. 

“You okay?” she asked as he explored his confines, he nodded. She walked up to the forcefield, “Here’s your stuff.”

“Wait! Connie Mahesw―” he stopped once her arms went through completely unaffected.

“Human, remember? Gem tech doesn’t do much to me.” 

“Oh.” he took his bubble of stuff and popped it, placing it all back in the shirt, “Th-Thank you.”

“No problem.” she eyed his nervous hands playing with the shirt, “You don’t need to worry about Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot, honestly. They’re just a little on edge. Do...do you need anything? Some water or food? I’ve got some leftover pad thai in the fridge but you probably don’t know what that even is...do you?” 

He shook his head, “I’m okay. I’m fine, I think I’m just going to go to sleep.” 

“Okay! Um, I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow, one sec.” she ran up to her loft bedroom, pulling off one of the blue pillows and snatching an unused throw before returning to the forcefield. She handed them to him, he ran his hands against the yellow and gray fleece of her throw.

“Soft.” he commented. 

“Yeah, my mom got it for me on my thirteenth. She always thought my room was too cold and, uh…” she choked down the emotion rising in her throat, “doesn’t matter. Do you want some pajamas?” he probably knew what pajamas were, Lisa wore them in book three, “I’ve got some clothes that’ll probably fit you.” they were her dad’s―a collection of old college sweaters and corduroy pants, but he didn’t need to know that.

He shook his head, “I’m going to sleep now.”

“Okay. G’night, Steven.” she stretched her stiff arms and turned away from the forcefield. 

“Goodnight, Connie Maheswaran.”

◈

_Bzzt!_

She wasn’t sure how late it was when the sound of crackling electricity woke her but the exhaustion pulling down on her body gave her a slight clue that it was late enough for it to be considered _early_. She shifted in her bed, pushing aside her plushies and attempted to get back to sleep. 

_Bzzt!_

Connie cracked open her eyes, reaching over to her nightstand to grab her glasses. There was something yellow in the corner of her vision, she blinked until the image focused. The house was bathed in pale blue light that cast long shadows across the floor.

_Bzzt!_

Then a soft hiss of...not pain, maybe apprehension? 

She groaned softly as she pushed herself up, wiping sleep from her eyes. Another flash of yellow, her eyes drifted to the forcefield where Steven was crouched holding his hand an inch away from it. She held her breath, trying to stay as still as possible. He stuck his hand through, completely unrestrained; she winced as she saw his veins light up again and crawl up his arm. He pulled away and glanced at his hand. 

With little sound, he stood and pushed his entire body through, his breaths shuddering like he was breathing through a fan. She tensed and pressed herself back into bed, curious on what he was trying to do. He stood still for a moment then began to walk around the house, going into the kitchen and turning the faucet on and off, on and off, on and off; opening the fridge and pulling out a half-finished muffin and sniffing it before taking a timid bite; studying the pictures of herself and the Gems taken throughout the years. Just looking around. 

She watched him sit at the bench beneath the front window and look out to the beach. He cocked his head to the side, whispering just a hair above being inaudible, “Ocean.” 

He stood again and walked outside, his footfalls creaking against the deck. 

_“Shit!”_ Connie gasped, knowing that leaving a half-Diamond unsupervised in Beach City _probably_ wasn’t the best idea. She frantically tried to find her sandals so she could go after them, fearing for the lecture she’d get if Bismuth found out. 

Something told her to look outside, she looked over her headboard out the window searching for Steven. She found him just standing at the shoreline. Barely moving. 

He pulled off his raspberry-colored gloves and kicked off his shoes, the wind ruffled his curls gently. He walked into the water until it was up to his ankles and sat, holding his knees to his chest and looking up to the night sky; he pulled at the ribbon holding his hair and his pastel curls fell to his shoulders majestically. 

Connie settled against the headboard, watching him in the water. It felt intimate, even though they were apart and he didn’t even know she was watching him―it felt special. 

“Welcome home, Steven.” she whispered as lights streaked across the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love working on this au deadass it's so much fun, pls we can have a little reference photo. as a treat.
> 
> next chapter: connie breaks a rule


	3. Keep Beach City Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i....i did not mean for this to be this long  
> watch me draw steb in every outfit i describe

3

Keep Beach City Beautiful

Connie had a routine. 

It was the same routine she’d had since she toddle, it made her feel comfortable―in control. 

  1. Wake up at dawn: It was nice to watch the sunrise over Beach City, the entire town lit up orange; she could only hear the soft humming of waves and feel the thrumming energy beneath her feet that the house held. 
  2. Shower: With the hot knob turned 45-degrees and the cold knob turned 15-degrees, she’d only spend three minutes in the shower (to save water, somebody had told her she needed to do that).
  3. Brush her teeth, wash her face, quietly sing along to music: Typically whatever pop ballad that was working its way to the top of the charts or some weird alternative song Sadie had gotten her hooked on. 
  4. Breakfast: Toast with strawberry jam and plain yogurt. 
  5. Training: It worked a charm at getting her to loosen up, swinging her sword in precise yet fluid movements―imagining that some lumbering Quartz was rushing her way just to be cut down at the last moment. Connie had it under control. She trained until the Gems came home or until her body couldn’t go on, whichever came first.



She woke up at the first sign of light streaking across the wisps of clouds, it was just enough to allow her to see around the house without having to turn on any of the lights. The bedframe creaked as she rolled over to grab her glasses, taking them and slipping them on with a gentle stretch. She blinked until the world came into focus, specifically the shadowy blob sitting at the foot of her bed. 

“Hi,” 

Connie yelped, pressing her back against her headboard. Steven leapt back too, his breath catching in his throat, “Are you alright?!”

 _“Steven!”_ she hissed, “God! You scared me.” 

“Sorry.” 

She sighed, her racing heart finally calming, “I-It’s alright.” she squinted, Steven still wore his uniform sans his gloves and had his hair tied up but his face was flushed and there was the slightest bit of wetness in his eyes, “...are you okay?” 

He looked taken aback by the question but nodded, he put on a smile that looked plastic and phony even in the low light. “All okay. I spent the night by the... _ocean_ and it was very nice, the settlement right beyond this base seems very busy. Are there many Gems there?”

“Settlement?” she wiped sleep from her eyes, “Oh, you mean Beach City? Y-Yeah, I mean, it’s small but there’s always something going on at the Boardwalk. And there’s no Gems there―only humans. Like me...and you, kinda.” 

Steven did it again. A slight shift in his body language: a lock snapping shut, a dog baring its teeth, a breathless moment. He’d done it when she asked about his hybrid nature at the Galaxy Warp, maybe the whole subject was one best left alone. He ran a hand through his coils of hair, “...Can I go see it?”

His voice was impossibly meek like Connie would shatter him just for asking a simple question, totally unexpected from somebody that had grown up being worshipped. She shook her sleep-addled head, “Steven... _no_. Sorry. Y-You’re not even supposed to be out of your field, Beach City is totally out of the question. Sorry.” 

Steven’s shoulders drooped like a kicked puppy, “Understood, Connie Maheswaran.” 

“Thank you, Steven.”

The house settled, Connie thought forward to the perfectly scheduled shower waiting for her but part of her was unwilling to leave Steven completely alone. Even when he was outside, she had been watching but if she showered then he’d have the perfect opportunity to leave. 

Then again, he could’ve ran instead of watching her sleep. Had he slept yet? Was he tired, hungry, 

“Are you cold?” she asked, picking a random worry from her list, “It gets a little chilly in here at night.” he didn’t answer, she pressed on, “I could give you some clothes to wear.” he tilted his head, she internally facepalmed―Gems didn’t really change clothes, they had a set outfit they wore every day that only changed when they were destabilized, “Oh, wait, sorry, can you...change clothes? I-I saw you take off your gloves and stuff on the beach but―”

“You were watching me?”

Her cheeks warmed, he didn’t seem mad nor happy. Maybe confused.

“Uh, yeah. Y-You’re not really supposed to _be_ outside of the house and I was worried you’d run away.”

“Run where?” he asked, brow furrowed, “I cannot return to Homeworld and I am a stranger here, where can I go? What place in this galaxy or the next would accept me? This...this is all I have.” Connie averted her eyes from his pressing stare, she felt Steven shift in her bed, “Yes, I can change clothes. The Pebbles make me outfits from time to time, I enjoyed wearing them...” 

“Did they make you that star shirt you brought?” 

She looked up, Steven was looking away now. He curled his nails into his palm, setting them on his bouncing thigh and not for the first time since their meeting at the palace, Connie wished she knew what he was thinking. He was paradoxical, he seemed so open and so ready to talk but still so closed off. She stood, he silently raised his eyes to watch her as she went to her closet and pulled out a faded yellow knitted sweater and a pair of corduroy pants. They were her dad’s. She kept giving her parents’ things to Pink Diamond in some sort of cosmic irony, still she sat back down and handed them to him. 

“I think you’d like these.” 

He blinked, “Y-You can’t.”

“Why?”

“ _You_ need clothing.” 

“Steven,” she got up again to go to her closet and pull the door aside so he could see her mass of clothes, “I have other clothes. Plus, those don’t fit me.” he still looked uneasy, “You can just try them on, I won’t make you wear them.”

Steven looked down to the sweater, running his fingers over the stitches, “I haven’t worn anything other than my form outfit in a very long time.” 

“If it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to―”

“ _No!”_ Steven pulled his hands back from her attempt to take the clothes back, holding them to his chest, “I want to wear them.” 

She smiled, “Good! You can change while I’m in the shower.”

“Shower?”

Connie stood, pulling out a towel and a change of clothes from her storage beneath the bed, “It helps you get clean _and_ it’s a good place to think. I like warm showers with nice smelling soaps.”

He looked intrigued, “Can I join you?”

She sputtered, her face darkened, “No!! Oh, my god, no. No. Steven.” she gasped out an embarrassed breath, “No.”

He looked horrified, “I’m sorry! Did I upset you?” 

“Yes! Wait, sorry, no, no, you didn’t. You don’t know about Earth stuff…” she rationalized, “You get naked to shower, like no clothes on you whatsoever. People don’t shower together...well _some_ do but they’re usually dating at least.” Steven nodded slowly, taking in the information, “I’ll be right back, okay? Go ahead and try on the clothes.” 

“Okay…” 

She moved down from her loft and made quick strides to the bathroom, releasing a breath once she locked the door behind her. Every conversation with Steven felt like a marathon she hadn’t trained for, her brain was running in circles between seeing him as a boy that had been through too much and a ruthless dictator who wanted to hollow out her planet. Sure, he was gentle and seemed to be afraid of upsetting her for some reason but he was still a _Diamond_ ―a gem with untold power who, as Bismuth had implored, was _made_ to never be truly beaten. His sweetness and meek nature could’ve been an act, something to lure her in and make her drop her guard before he switched on a dime and cut her down with whatever powers he swore he didn’t have. 

She would fight back if that happened. Surely. Take her sword, turn to Steven and― 

Connie sighed, turning the hot knob 45-degrees and the cold knob 15-degrees. She waited a moment, undressing and setting her glasses aside before she got in, her mental timer ticking the second water hit her skin. 

She got out two minutes and forty-five seconds later (she was in a rush), listening out for any sign that Steven hadn’t bolted. There wasn’t any sound. 

“Uhh...Steven?” she called, anxiety gripping her throat. 

“Connie Maheswaran?” he replied, she smiled, 

“I was just checking on you!” 

He didn’t say anything back but, admittedly, it was a weird thing for her to say after only being gone for three minutes. She wrapped a towel around herself and chose the music (opting for whatever was on the Top 40 instead of spending 15 minutes trying to remember how Sadie’s current favorite band was even spelled), the poppy vocals reverberating off the walls as she brushed her teeth and then washed her face with citrus-scented face wash. Eventually, she dressed herself for the day, wiped the condensation from her rose-tinted frames and stepped out―almost immediately bumping into Steven. 

“Oh, stars!” he gasped, reaching out to steady her but pulling his hands back before he actually touched her, “I didn’t see you.”

She righted herself, “W-Were you waiting outside?”

“Erm…” he blushed, “yes, I-I wanted to show you how I look now.” 

Steven held his arms out, the light from the bathroom illuminating him. The sweater that was far too big on her looked perfect on him and he had cuffed his pants to show off that he was still wearing his stockings and pink slippers. If Connie disregarded his off-color eye, she’d almost think he was a normal human. 

She grinned, “Steven! You look great!” 

His blush deepened, “Really? You think so? I-I’m not used to having my gem covered,” 

“Yes, it looks _so_ good!! Wait,” she caught a glimpse of his hair caught in the sweater, she went to pull it free, “let me get you an actual scrunchie, come with me.” 

He stuck out his hand, she eyed it then gingerly took it, her calloused fingers wrapping around his soft hands. Steven liked holding hands, apparently. She led him over to her drawer full of scrunchies of every kind that she had used back when her hair had gone to her waist. Decisively, she pulled out a velvet one, letting go of his hand so she could remove the ribbon from his mane and replace it with the scrunchie. He smelled like saltwater and outside still. 

“You can use any of these, my hair isn’t long enough any more.” 

“Your hair used to be long?” he asked, she nodded. She pulled an old photo of her off the shelf, it was taken during her first couple months of being a Crystal Gem; she was smiling brightly at the camera with the first sword Bismuth had given her during their lessons, her silky black hair braided behind her back. 

Steven excitedly looked over it, “Oh, you look so young!” 

“It was only, what, two years ago? Bismuth hadn’t made me my new sword, yet. I wasn’t _that_ young.”

“You look like a _baby!”_ he squished his cheeks for emphasis, a cheery lilt in his voice, “They give a baby a sword!”

“Watch it, your highness.” she teased, Steven smiled brightly then stuck his tongue out. Connie was taken aback to see him make such a human gesture, “Hey, hey, who taught you that?” 

“An Amethyst!” he explained, setting the picture down, “She makes funny faces and gestures that she got from Earth! Like this―” he made a peace sign, “and this―” finger guns, “and, uh, this―” he flipped her off, Connie choked on her laughter, “but she wouldn’t tell me what it meant.” 

Connie put his finger down, “Yeah, uh, don’t do that one unless you really mean it.” she chuckled, Steven looked perplexed, “I’ve _got_ to meet that Amethyst at some point, though.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, “Oh, Yellow has her bubbled. She and another Gem―a fusion―did something bad a long time ago but they’re important to me...apparently. Pearl said they are. I get to see them on my birthday for a whole cycle! I like them...they’re the only Gems other than Pearl that treat me normally...all the others are _weird_ about talking to me.” 

Steven shrugged. Connie frowned―he had only _three_ Gems he felt comfortable interacting with, two of which he only saw once a year. That must be lonely, almost insanely so. She was able to empathize in some weird way, besides Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis, she didn’t really _have_ friends. There were people in Beach City but they were acquaintances at best, near strangers at worst. She knew what loneliness felt like, how it hung on her shoulders during the days the Gems were away on missions they deemed too dangerous for her. Steven was lonely like her, just lightyears away, maybe that was why he loved yet was so afraid of physical touch―he just wasn’t used to it. She snaked her hands into his, his eyes widening. She squeezed his palm and hoped he knew what it meant. 

“Are you hungry?” she asked, letting go, “I’m gonna make some breakfast and if we’re quick we can probably still catch the sunrise.”

“Sunrise?”

She paused, did Homeworld not have _sunrises?_ She’d have to ask the Gems later, “It’s when the sun comes out, the sky turns all these pretty colors. I like to watch.”

Steven seemed mesmerized by the concept, “I thought you said Earth didn’t have magic?”

“It doesn’t, it’s all science which is kinda like magic with extra steps.” 

“Hm.” 

Connie grabbed two slices of bread from the cupboard, popping them in the slots of the toaster and pulling out a cup of her favorite plain yogurt and her jar of organic jam from the refrigerator, “You’ve never had Earth food, right?” 

“No, Pearl usually brought me fruits from the Zoo. They were...sweet.” 

Some part of her was relieved that the Zoo even had food that they felt was right to give to a Diamond, she continued, “Well. I usually have toast and yogurt for breakfast but sometimes Lapis makes pancakes after missions. Toast is really good with jam, I like strawberry jam the most, honestly. I’m gonna make you a piece so you can try it.” 

He seemed surprised by that, “I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you, Connie Mahe―!”

The toast popped up, Steven nearly jumped out his skin, looking over his shoulder frantically. She took the hot slices out with one hand, giving him a pacifying gesture with the other, “It’s okay! Just the toaster!”

“Is it a weapon?!” 

She shook her head, “It’s just to toast the bread, I-I should’ve warned you that it was loud.” 

“You do this everyday?!” 

“You get used to it! I used to be scared of it too when I was younger but it doesn’t even surprise me anymore,” he still looked on edge, the happy expression that had been lighting up his face completely missing. She cursed under her breath, slathering a thin layer of jam onto the toast then setting them on a plate and putting the yogurt in the crook of her arm. “Follow me.” 

He moved from his spot, following closely behind her as she propped the door open and gestured with her head for him to go outside, he stood out on the porch and watched her carefully set down their breakfast on the table. She wasn’t stupid enough to ignore the irony of using the same table Bismuth had sat her down on and explained why she couldn’t be all buddy-buddy with Steven as the spot where she and Steven would sit together and watch the sunrise together while they ate strawberry toast. 

They sat across from each other, both just a head turn away from the sunrise. The sky was already getting lighter, dark blues turning to pale purples. She handed him his slice of toast which he held gingerly, “You just bite into it!” she explained, demonstrating, “See?” 

Steven brought the toast to his mouth and took a small bite. His eyes immediately went starry, his pupils dilating, he took a larger bite and chewed happily. 

“Do you like it?” she smiled, he nodded vigorously, “Yeah, it’s really tasty! It’s good with other jams, too, I just like strawberry the best.”

“There’s other jams?” he asked, dumbstruck. Red jam stuck to his lips, Connie fought the urge to reach over and clean it off. 

“Peach, plum, strawberry...they sell them down at the Beach City Farmer’s Market every Tuesday and Thursday during the summer.” she thought about the cute stand ran by the moms of a little kid she’d seen around town, they always called Connie ‘sweetie’ and ‘sugar’ in a way that _didn’t_ make her skin crawl; Steven finished off his toast, he wistfully sighed, 

“That sounds amazing…” 

Right. She probably shouldn’t talk about cool stuff around town so soon after telling him that even if they were friends, he was still a prisoner. A gleam of light twinkled in the corner of her eye, she turned to see the sun crest the water, “Oh! Steven, it’s happening!” 

He looked up and was immediately transfixed, his eyes staring dead at the sun as it rose and brought along a myriad of colors with it. She was too busy looking at Steven to notice, though, he had brought his legs onto the chair and was slack-jawed like a little kid in a toy store. He looked like he was having fun for once which made Connie value their little outing even more. 

She worked her way through the cup of yogurt while Steven watched, the spell broken once the sky settled for the saturated blue it was going to be today. He turned to face her, happily flapping his hands, “That was _incredible,_ Connie Maheswaran! Can we do that tomorrow?”

“Yeah! I’m glad you liked it, the cool thing about sunrises is that they’re never the same; they’re different every day.” 

“Wow…” he breathed, “I’m not used to things _changing_ ,” she wasn’t sure what he meant but the peaceful expression he wore was enough for her to get that he was happy about something, anything at all, changing. He tilted his head to look at her, “When are your Crystal Gems returning?”

“I don’t know, really. Sometimes they have to go on missions and those can go on for _weeks,_ but I doubt they’d leave without telling me.” 

He pursed his lips, “You trust them?” 

“Of course!” she truthfully said, “They’re like my family, why would I?”

“Well, Yellow always tells me that the rebels are dangerous, I-I’d hate for you to get hurt. A Bismuth, a Lapis Lazuli, and a Peridot is a strange combination, those Gems aren’t meant to interact.” 

She pouted, scooting her chair over so they could sit closer, “Steven, things work different on Earth, okay? I’m safe here, I’m _happy_ here, the Gems protect me and care for me. And, maybe, they’ll do the same for you someday…” 

Steven’s eyes glistened, he shook his head, “No. That’d be nice but...no.” he folded his hands together, “Is there anything else you do during your day?” 

“...Are you okay?”

“Yes. Is there anything else you do?” 

Huffing, she stood. First, he had clearly been crying when she woke up and now he was trying to distract her from his words; what did he not want her to know? “I usually start training.” 

“With the sword the Bismuth made you?” 

“It’s just ‘Bismuth’ and yeah, gotta keep my skills sharp. You never know when you’ll need ‘em.” 

“I’ve never been in battle, Diamonds aren’t supposed to be anywhere near the fight.” he said, “Blue once took me to see the end of some uprising on one of her colonies by Gems that were inspired by Rose Quartz, we rode in her palanquin and watched her Quartzes and Rubies bubble each and every Gem that had stepped out of line.” his eyes glazed over, his hands clutching the fabric of his shirt, “S-Some of them were shattered on the spot, ones that had led the rebellion. It sounds like glass breaking, little creaking then it was finished...I-I had to watch, Diamonds aren’t supposed to look away and they... _saluted_ Blue and I after. Like they were happy we saw because they-they did it for us, Blue was so pleased…the Gems were _screaming―_ ”

“Steven!” she grabbed his hand that was pulling viciously at his hair and pulled it away, he snapped to look at her, tears threatening to fall, “Steven, i-it’s okay, you’re safe.” 

He broke out of his trance, “Huh?” he looked around himself like he’d forgotten where he was, “Wh-What happened? Connie Maheswaran?” 

“Yeah, it’s me. You’re on Earth and you’re safe.” she wrapped both her hands around his big hand, “C’mon, let’s go back inside. I’ll make you another slice of toast with extra jam.” 

He sniffled, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve, “I’d like that.”

She led him back into the living room, fulfilling her promise and handing him a fresh piece of strawberry toast before she brought her sword out and began training, making a point of avoiding swinging the sword in Steven’s direction. Steven sat on the couch, wordlessly watching her go through battle formations and effortlessly twirl her sword around. He seemed entranced by it, watching how the blade moved through the air in precise movements. Connie tried to put Pearl’s guidance into her practice, the lethe Gem was definitely the most skilled fighter she had ever faced. About an hour had passed before she stopped to catch her breath, Steven clapped his hands excitedly, 

“Woo!! Go Connie Maheswaran!” 

“Heh, thank you Steven.” she wiped the sweat from her brow, “I’m just wondering but why do you always use my last name?”

“Your what?”

“Maheswaran. It’s my last name, my surname.” 

He squinted, “But you’re a Connie Maheswaran...right? Tha-That was the name in the book,” 

She snickered, “Oh, gosh. I’m not _a_ Connie Maheswaran, my name just _is_ Connie. Like how your name is Steven.”

“Okay…” he swallowed, “Connie.” 

“Thank you,” she smiled, “Steven Diamond.”

He laughed, she joined in. Then the Warp sprung to life, _“Shit!”_ she gasped, pulling Steven by his collar and pushing him inside the containment field to his confusion, “Sorry! The Gems are back!” 

“Oh, stars! Uh, wha-what should I do?!” 

The column of light appeared, Connie grabbed her sword, “Act like a prisoner!”

Steven nodded, giving her a thumbs up and sitting against the wall with his head down. Connie began swinging her sword again, 

“...donite and Fluoride should be able to keep on schedule.” Peridot’s voice came, she looked around once the light dissipated, “Hey, Connie!”

“Hi, guys!” she greeted, setting her sword down again, “How was the barn?”

“Crowded. Again.” Lapis answered, stepping off the platform, “All the humans keep bringing their friends to help but they _literally_ never know what to do.” 

Bismuth sighed, “What’s important is they want to support our cause, we need all the help we can get. That Cluster won’t beat itself,” she drew a hand through her locs, “Anyways, how was last night? She didn’t give you any trouble, right?” 

“She…? Oh! Pink Diamond.” Connie sat on the couch, right where Steven had been, “I had it handled.” 

“Knew you would!” Bismuth cheered, she turned to face Steven, who shrunk back under her watch, “Hm...why is she wearing new clothes…?” 

Connie inwardly panicked, she knew that the answer ‘I thought he was cold so I gave him clothes and then we watched the sunrise together’ would _not_ be well received. She thought of something quick, “Thought it’d be a good way to let hi― _her_ know that this isn’t Homeworld and that her status means nothing here.” 

Thankfully, she had always been an amazing liar, she definitely couldn’t say the same for Steven who was sweating bullets. 

Peridot nodded, “And training in front of her―excellent intimidation, Connie!” 

Bismuth seemed to agree, “Glad you understand now, hotshot!” 

“Thank you!” she shelved her sword, “So...are you guys doing anything else today?” 

Lapis flopped on the couch beside her, “Mission time.” 

Connie perked up, looking to Bismuth; the burly Gem nodded, “Yee-up, some corrupted Gems were spotted somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere so we gotta go and bubble ‘em.” 

The brunette brightened, “Okay!! Let me get ready, it’ll take fifteen minutes tops!”

Bismuth halted her, “Whoa there, sorry, sweetheart. We need somebody here to look after her―” she pointed to Steven, “we’ll be gone for four days, okay? You should have enough in the house to get you through but you could always go down to see Mr. Universe. We just wanted to let you know we were heading out, feel free to call us whenever.” 

“We’ll bring you a book back!” Peridot insisted, Lapis ruffled her hair, 

“One of the big, boring ones you like, dork.” 

Bismuth crossed her arms, “All you have to do is watch her.” 

Connie tried to hide her...apprehension? Why was she nervous? The Gems going on missions was completely mundane, all she did while they were gone was train, read, and watch movies. It was just going to be her…

And Steven. 

Just her and Steven for four days. 

“I won’t let you down!” she promised, the Gems smiled, 

“We aren’t leavin’ yet, we’ll stay till lunchtime.” Bismuth offered, “Tell you about the stunt that goon Ronaldo pulled at the barn, okay?”

Steven frowned slightly, pulling his knees to his chest. Connie faltered but managed to keep her smile, “What did he do _this_ time?”

Lively conversation filled the house for the next few hours: Bismuth recounting the story of local conspiracy theorist Ronaldo Fryman trying to ‘explain’ to her some deeper conspiracy that all the Gems were unknowingly a part of (something to do with sneople (snake people)), Lapis toying with Connie and splashing water in her face when she thought she wasn’t looking, Peridot forcing her to sit down for another binge session of _Camp Pining Hearts_. But eventually, it was time for them to go, the four exchanging goodbyes and well wishes before they stepped onto the Warp (making a collection of threats toward Steven) and disappeared again. Steven looked up, 

“What do we do now?” 

That was the question. 

_He’s a Diamond._ she reminded herself, _He is a Diamond._

◈

At the end of the first day they sat side-to-side on the couch, her reading for the first of several _Spirit Morph_ spin-off novels; Steven and her joking around and doing funny voices for the characters as the sun set. Connie finished chapter six, “Do you want to read now?” 

“No,” he answered, his head on her shoulder, “I like your voice.” 

She blushed and continued. 

He ended up sleeping on the couch, her sitting and playing with his hair as she continued on reading. Not too far ahead, she didn’t want Steven missing anything. 

◈

It rained the second day, much to Steven’s distress. He jumped at every clap of thunder and pressed himself in the corner of the couch, curling into himself. Slowly, Connie explained rain, bringing him to the window so he could stick his hand out and feel the droplets against his skin. He sat there for a while, opening and closing his hand so more raindrops could fill his palm. Connie got an idea.

With a little bit of coaxing, she managed to get him outside fully, the two of them dancing around each other and making noise as the storm swelled around them. Steven pulled his hair free of the scrunchie (a glittery purple one), the pink standing out against the gray of the clouds. His smile was brighter than any sun, when he laughed it was in B-major. 

They ended the night both wrapped in fluffy blankets with the fireplace on to dry them off. Connie had picked some old rom-com from the nineties, scoffing at every ridiculous decision. The main conflict stereotypically resulted in a scene in an airport, the main guy pleading for his career-driven girlfriend to stay in their small town. 

“This is so stupid…” she grumbled, Steven raised an eyebrow, “all she’s talked about is how much she wants to be a journalist― _why_ would she stay?” 

“Can’t he just Warp to her?” he asked, biting down on the pizza Connie had ordered, 

“No but he could just _drive!”_ she argued, “They should just break up. Plus, she is _so_ pretty, she could definitely find someone else.”

Steven shrugged, “He’s cute, too.”

“Sure, but not _don’t-follow-your-dreams-stay-here-and-kiss-me_ cute.” 

The main guy pulled the girl close, _‘I love you’_ he whispered before kissing her. The airport full of background characters clapped. Connie groaned, Steven smiled,

“I think it’s romantic,” he said. 

◈

The third day, a Tuesday, she broke completely. 

“Hey.” she said once they returned from watching the sunrise. She tossed him a worn shirt decorated with an old, faded college logo and a pair of jean shorts, “Get dressed, we’re going into town to get more jam.” 

Steven didn’t need to be told twice, jumping up and running to the bathroom to change while Connie continued her internal debate on whether this was a good idea or not. He was still a prisoner, yes, but Steven was so enamored with every aspect of human culture the movie had shown that it was enough for Connie to convince herself that letting him have _one day_ of interacting with other humans would be fine. He returned with a smile, his shirt tucked into his cuffed shorts (she wanted to make a joke about him looking like a bisexual stereotype but worried it’d go over his head) and wearing the pink sandals Connie had managed to borrow from Mr. Universe when she went to go get yesterday’s pizza. 

He waited at the bathroom door while Connie put on a striped yellow sundress and a floppy farmer’s hat, she exited, immediately showered with compliments by him. He went for the door, 

“Wait!” Connie called, he stopped in his tracks. From her burlap bag, she pulled out a pair of heart-shaped opaque glasses and handed them to him, “Humans don’t have pink eyes, people won’t know you’re a gem if you cover up your eyes.” he put them on, she studied him, “Yellow scrunchie?”

“It’s like a little bow!” 

She smiled, “You look great, c’mon!” she ran over to the door, pulling at the handle but the door wouldn't budge, “Hm, what’s…” 

Steven walked past her, pulling the door open effortlessly, “The door sticks when it gets hot.” he explained, holding the door open for her, 

“How did you...whatever,” she took his hand and pulled him along, “to Beach City.”

Beach City was crowded by Beach City standards―meaning there were 100 people on the Boardwalk rather than the typical 30 or so. The Farmer’s Market always brought in a crowd of people all around Delmarva, full of people bringing in creative things and playing music around town. Before they reached the Boardwalk, Connie led Steven into the small donut shop that sat on the edge of the beach. The Big Donut, begrudgingly staffed by Sadie and Lars, had pretty good desserts and if Connie wanted Steven to experience human culture, fried dough and icing would be a good place to start. 

The bell sounded once Connie opened the door, Lars lazily lifted his head off the counter, “Oh. It’s Connie.”

Sadie looked up from where she had been restocking the Lion Lickers, “Hey, Connie!” 

“Hi, Sadie!” she stepped fully inside, giving Lars a cold nod, “Lars.”

“Who’s your friend?” the short woman casually walked up to the two of them, Steven’s grip on her hand tightened. 

“I-I...um...I’m…uh...” he blushed, looking away from Sadie. His bubbly personality all but gone, Connie furrowed her brow, “N-Not good with...this...” 

Right. That had been one of Pearl’s grievances―the way Steven froze up around other people, Connie picked up the slack, “Sorry, he just moved here. This is Steven!” 

“You moved to _Beach City?”_ Lars questioned, disgusted at the idea, “ _Why?_ Are you some kind of weirdo or whatever?” 

“Be nice!” Sadie chastised, beaning him in the head with a paper towel roll. She turned back to Steven with a smile, “Welcome to Beach City! I’m Sadie and that’s Lars, I _really_ love your hair.”

Steven straightened his posture, “Th-Thank...s…” 

“I’m gonna give you a donut on the house, you and Connie.” 

Connie shook her head, “Sadie, you don’t have to―”

“Aht! I insist, you and your family save the town like every week, I want to say thanks with a donut.” she went behind the counter, ducking to pick out two donuts. Lars pursed his lips, 

“...Are you guys on a date?” 

Sadie’s hand popped up and punched him on the arm, thankfully distracting him from Connie’s red face. This...This was not a date. This was two friends hanging out on a nice day like friends are supposed to do. Totally not a date. Steven let go of her hand, drifting towards the frosty Cookie Cat freezer, he opened it and took out a foil-wrapped ice cream sandwich. 

“Oh, would you rather get that?” Sadie asked, one red velvet donut in her tongs. Steven nodded meekly, “Sick, I couldn’t find anymore of the pink donuts anyway.”

Connie said her goodbyes and then moved to the actual farmer’s market, Steven unwrapping the sandwich with his teeth so he wouldn’t have to let go of her hand. He had pointed teeth in the back of his mouth much like all the other Gems Connie had met so the task wasn’t a hard one, “So, anyway,” she began, “the ladies that make the jam have a booth down at the end with their son, he’s a real cute kid.” Steven hemmed to indicate that he was listening, he bit into Cookie Cat ear first, “I think there’s a place that sells strawberries, too! Really good sweet ones, we can go there, too.” 

“!!” 

“Yeah, I knew you’d be excited about that.” 

The jam ladies were happy to see Connie again, giving her a large glass jar as well as polite conversation while Steven stood silent beside her. Their son marvelled at Steven’s hair, asking breathlessly if he was a princess. Steven smiled slightly, “I am!” 

The boy’s moms and Connie laughed for two different reasons, the boy offered Steven a bundle of buttercups which he took with a grin and tucked into his hair. Steven was a bit more animated after that, pulling her along to booths he wanted to see and even talking a little with people about whatever they were selling. Connie was happy to see him relax a smidge and was infected by his airy squeals of excitement once they reached the strawberries. Kiki looked up, “Hey, Connie!!” 

“Kiki!” she smiled, “You work here, too?”

“Only for a little bit, Nanefua usually runs it but she went to get some lemonade, so I’m here! What can I getcha?” 

“Half pound of strawberries!” 

“On it,” she snapped her gloves, her eyes flicked to Steven, “who’s this?”

He waved, “I’m Steven!” 

“Hello, Steven! Cool glasses, my sister Jenny would love those, where’d you get ‘em?” 

He pointed to Connie, “Connie.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I bet.” 

“Ah, your father and his money!” a Ghanian-accented voice moaned, “You’d think we pay the rent in lemons!” 

Kiki chuckled, “Gunga…”

Nanefua walked up to the booth, holding a condensation covered glass of lemonade. She smiled at Connie good-naturedly, her wrinkles crinkling around her mouth, “Ah, Ms. Maheswaran, how’ve you been, smart girl?” 

“I’m good, ma’am. I’m just showing my friend Steven around, he just moved in and―”

Nanefua clicked her tongue, “Kiki, this nice boy just came into town and you haven’t offered him a lemonade?” she held out her worn hands, “Would you like some lemonade, young man?”

“Probably!” Steven took her hand and the two walked off towards Fish Stew Pizza. Connie grabbed their strawberries and took a seat at one of the many benches, pleasantly biting down on some and waiting for her friend to return. She pulled out her book and began to read, almost completely immersing herself before two hands grabbed her shoulder. Connie shrieked, instincts guiding her to roughly elbow whoever was behind her. 

“Oof!” Mr. Universe groaned, “Remind me not to do _that_ again, haha.” 

She blushed, “I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was you!” 

“It’s okay, Connie, my fault.” Mr. Universe was a kind man Connie had known from the second day she’d been in town. Long brown hair but not much on top, a friendly smile and strong hands, everybody in town knew him. He wore a tattered blue shirt and cut-off shorts despite his wealth he’d suddenly accumulated a year or so earlier, if one was to look at him they’d never guess he was a multi-millionaire due to a song turned fast-food jingle. Hell, he still lived in a van that had escaped the turn of the century mostly unscathed, “Whatcha doing down here?”

She lifted her bag, “Shopping.” 

“Ah, should’ve guessed, heh. I’m gonna go see Vidalia and Barb for some cards, lose a little money but _gain_ some laughs. _That’s_ what’s important, Connie!”

She rolled her eyes sarcastically, _“Okaaay,_ Mr. Universe.” 

He always gave her fatherly advice whenever he saw her. She didn’t mind it, though. Mr. Universe apparently had lost a kid many years back, a kid and his wife both passing within a couple years of each other. Maybe he saw Connie as a way to still be a dad. 

“Your friend like the sandals?”

“Mmhm! They fit fine.” 

“Good, good.” he sighed, “Well, I just wanted to check in, I’m off. Stay safe out there, kiddo.”

“I will, bye, Mr. Universe!” 

He walked off, whistling one of his old songs from ‘back when he had all his hair’ as he would put it. Steven returned a moment later with his lemonade, drinking it from a bright pink straw, “Everybody here is very kind.” 

◈

“Did you have fun?” she asked, swinging her legs off the side of the porch table and picking a strawberry off their shared platter. Steven nodded vigorously, 

“Yeah!! Humans are very nice and they’ve created so many wonderful things.” he sipped his lemonade, “No wonder Rose Quartz wanted to save it…hm.” he bit his lip, “Nevermind that, have you tried this lemon drink before?” 

“Yup! Is it good?”

“ _So good.”_

“Lemme try.” 

He handed her the glass, she took a few sips, “Wait, wow, that’s actually really― _ow.”_

“Ow?” he pouted, “What happened?” 

“Nothing, I just have a…” she slipped off her glasses, “headache. It’s nothing, it’s…” she blinked a few times, breath stopping as her surroundings sharped and her vision cleared, _“no way.”_

“What?!”

She stood up straight, “I-I can see! Steven, I can see without my glasses!”

“Is that bad!?” 

“N-No! It’s miraculous, it’s _unbelievable_ , it’s” she stared at the glass in her hand, “magic. Steven. I think _you_ did this.” 

He looked distressed, “But how? I...don’t have…” 

Determined, Connie plucked the straw from the cup and found the nearest battle scar. She sucked in a breath and pressed the end of the straw to it, she and Steven gasped as the wound sealed shut and left behind blemishless brown skin. 

“You have _healing spit!”_ she exclaimed, Steven blinked rapidly, 

“I have magic.” he stared out to the choppy waters, _“I have magic.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Universe looked back for just a moment and saw a pink-haired boy talking to Connie, his chest tightened but he swallowed the hope in his throat, "He's gone." 
> 
> im just vibing sir!!! im vibing!!  
> (somebody asked me if they could do fanart at some point and uhhhh YEAH just tag me in it! @spooksierr on insta babe <3)


	4. Do I Know You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: self-harm!!!
> 
> steve-o is straight up having a bad time then a very good time

4

Do I Know You?

Popping out her glasses frames was an easy task surprisingly. 

Just a forceful push of her thumbs and the tinted frames fell clattering on the deck, she thought to make a joke about shoddy craftsmanship but Steven didn’t look like he was in the mood. He hadn’t talked since her eyes had been healed, he just stared off into space. Connie grabbed the lenses and put them in her pocket, “Are you doing alright?” 

He nodded a bit too quickly for Connie’s taste, “I’m just...surprised. Yeah. Surprised is the word.” 

His eyes didn’t leave the water, she worried her lip. She’d expected that finding out that he had _actual magic_ after believing the opposite his entire life would be _exciting_ to him but instead it looked like he wanted to be completely alone. She gently squeezed his shoulders, he flinched under her touch, “I’m gonna give you some space and let you get your thoughts together” 

Steven’s soft hand reached up to grab her’s, his eyes suddenly wide and pleading, “You’re leaving?! Di-Did I do something wrong?” he was searching her face for an answer, “Don’t go, _please_ , I’m sorry,” 

Connie gaped, “Steven, Steven...I...I’m...you just look like you need a minute to yourself. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, I was just going inside but I can stay if you really want me to…” 

His grip loosened, not completely letting go but not clenching her hand anymore, “Please just stay where I can see you...okay?” 

“Course,” she got up from her spot and walked a few feet away to sit on the stairs, hopefully giving him enough space but also staying in his sightline. Not for the first time, she couldn’t help but wonder what had _happened_ to Steven. There were little moments where his excitable, bubbly, and all around _cute_ (not in _that_ way, of course, cute like a friend was) personality shone but others where she said the wrong thing the wrong way or disappeared from his sight for too long and he was right back to where he’d been when they’d met―curled into himself in an empty, lonely room. 

Pearl had been so adamant that he was never to return to Homeworld, what could’ve made her so desperate to get him on the other side of the galaxy? Sighing, Connie took out her phone, determined to at least have a funny video ready for Steven to watch once he was ready. He seemed to like cat videos, nearly passing out from laughter while watching one earlier. She glanced behind her to check on her friend (she could call him a friend), he had barely moved, fist balled at his sides and his expression unreadable. A fizzing sound piqued her interest, she glanced around to find the source, 

_‘Now…’_

A chilling, almost robotic voice came from her phone. She glanced down, it was playing a...video? It was from a first person’s perspective, the person was sprawled on the ground. Glancing at something blindingly white and something else bright pink, _‘Don’t you see what you_ could _be if you stopped playing this silly game?”_

The perspective tilted up, the pink form was fully revealed. Connie’s breath hitched―it was _Steven_ , bright pink and glowing with two neon eyes. There was no emotion on his face, just wide-eyed emptiness, the voice continued, _‘It’s time to grow up, Pink.’_

There was a choking sound and the slamming of a door, the image on her screen fizzed to nothingness. Connie whipped around to see Steven had completely disappeared into the house; she jumped up, running inside while trying to understand what she’d just seen. 

“Steven?!” she called, nearly stumbling over herself as she entered, “Steven, are you okay?!”

He looked up from where he had curled himself into a fetal position on the couch, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Still, he nodded, “Just a bad thought.” he said thickly, “Nothing to worry about.” 

She pouted, “It seems like something I _should_ worry about.”

_Would he lie to her?_

That Steven in the video, the vision, whatever it was―he’d looked so powerful, so merciless. It contrasted greatly with the Steven currently sniveling on her couch. He blinked at her words, tracking her with his eyes as she went to sit beside him, “I saw you.” she muttered. 

“What?”

“In this video, my phone glitched and there was this video of you and...White Diamond, I’m guessing.” he stopped breathing, she continued, “B-But you were _pink_ and―”

“Stop talking.” he interrupted, his hands shook violently in his lap, “ _P-Please_ stop.” 

Connie huffed, “Steven, it was _you―_ ”

 _“HE ISN’T ME.”_ the light above them swelled to an almost blinding degree then went dark, Steven fearfully jumped back, “I-I’m sorry, did I do that? I didn’t mean to...I didn’t...did I do that?” 

She pushed her lensless frames farther up her nose, “I think you did.” 

“...Is this more magic?”

“Yeah, I think.” she steepled her fingers much like Peridot when she was stumped by something (which she _claims_ never happens), “You have some effect on technology like my phone or the lights, you put your memory” she said the word like a question, “on my phone and the lights freaked out when you yelled.” 

He sheepishly looked away from her, “I shouldn’t have I yelled, I just got upset,” 

“Hm,” Connie stood and grabbed one of her many notebooks from the nook above the couch along with a pen, she turned to a clean page, “so, so far you have healing spit and tech interference…” 

“You think I have more powers?” 

“Probably? I mean you’re Pink Diamond.”

He grimaced, “I know.” 

Connie scribbled down _Healing_ and _Tech Interference_ on the page, “And I _think_ that the tech power is influenced by your emotions,” she wrote _‘Emotions based?’,_ “could you try doing it again?” 

Steven’s pupils shrunk, “I-I don’t want to think about it again,” 

“Okay, um, why don’t you try to do a happy memory? Something that makes you feel good?” 

He nodded, closing his eyes. Connie held out her phone after a minute he cracked his eye open, “Did it work?” 

“No,” she pocketed her phone, “what were you thinking about?” 

A slight dusting of pink covered his cheeks, “Uh, when we were dancing in the rain, it was very fun.” 

Her voice softened, “Really?”

“Yes!” he smiled, “I’ve never danced with anybody back home! I’m not allowed to, it’s unbecoming of a Diamond, but it’s _fun!”_

“You’ve never _danced?”_

She wasn’t so sure why she was so surprised, she’d never been one for dancing due to the _attention_ it brought her but Steven had so readily begun twirling and moving under the rain that she’d just assumed he was used to doing the same on Homeworld. What they’d done could barely be classified as dancing with each other; they’d never touched, just moved around each other as laughter bubbled up from their awkwardness. Steven shook his head, 

“Dancing with other Gemtypes is prohibited, it’s indecent. It could lead to fusion.”

“What about the other Diamonds?” 

“They don’t like dancing and we’ve been so busy during my…” he sighed, “invasion.” 

Connie sat back, “Right.” 

She’d half-forgotten why Steven was even on Earth, seeing how fascinated he was by every little facet of Earth he’d seen in the last three days had made the fact that he was meant to _destroy_ it nearly slip her mind. Nearly. 

“Why are you invading?” she asked, trying to keep bitterness from leaking into her voice. 

Steven’s shoulders slumped, “It’s what Diamonds do.”

“But _why?”_

“I…” he sniffed, “It’s not a choice for me to make.” 

“You keep saying that.” she shot back, frustration brewing, “Look, this is my home, my entire life is here and I’m _not_ going to let it all die just because _you_ won’t stand up to the other Diamonds. Rose Quartz was _shattered_ for this planet and you can’t even tell the Diamonds no?” 

His nails scratched at his wrist, “I-I can’t, Connie. I want to, _believe me,_ I want to! But it’s useless, they’ll never listen to me, I-I’ll just get split again and it won’t help anything!” his entire frame shook, his nails dug in, “I’m o-off-color and I’m _wrong_ and I’m a _mistake_ and I-I can never do anything _right!_ This whole planet’s gonna _die_ because I _exist!”_ blood sprung up from under his nails, Connie gasped. Immediately, she grabbed his hand and pulled it to her person, 

“Steven! Stop, you’re hurting yourself!” 

_“Let me!”_ he sobbed, baring his teeth, “I-I’m bad and I should feel bad,” She gasped, tears immediately blurring her vision at how matter-of-factly he had said it. He tried to go for his other arm but she stopped him, now holding both his hands by the wrist, Steven looked lost, “...why are you being so nice to me?” 

Why was she? She kept flipping back and forth when it came to Steven: Spending the day eating strawberries and joking around one second and pinning the impending destruction of the planet on him the next, when was she going to settle on an answer? 

“I don’t know,” she whispered, “y-you’re really confusing to me, Steven. Good confusing and...bad confusing, I don’t know how to feel about you.” she could see his face fall slightly, “But I don’t think you’re bad. I think bad things happened to you and it made you think that you’re bad a-and I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of days but so far...you seem pretty good to me.”

Steven stared, his face flushed and damp from tears, “...Okay.” he said, just a hair above inaudible. 

“Promise you won’t try to hurt yourself again?” He nodded but didn’t promise. She worried her lip, “The cuts aren’t healing, I’ll get a band-aid for you, okay?” 

He nodded again. She hated that she had to let go of his hands to go scour the bathroom for a non-empty box of band-aids, which was hard to come by thanks to her sword fighting habits. Finally, she found one and hurried back to Steven who hadn’t moved an inch since she’d left. 

“What is that?” he questioned as she peeled back the paper, 

“A bandage, it’s to keep cuts from getting infected while they heal,” she carefully placed it on his skin, “have you never had a cut before?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, “I’ve never had a bandage.” 

Connie sighed heavily, taking his hand and squeezing it, “Do you wanna watch a movie? Another cheesy one?” 

Steven’s eyes finally brightened, “A rome-come!!!”

She snorted, “Rom-com.” 

“Oh.”

Barely ten minutes later, they were sat against a mound of pillows with heavy blankets wrapped around them, watching yet another sappy movie Connie had managed to find. As usual, Connie slipped into snide comments while Steven pointed out how sweet everything was―he liked schmaltz apparently. 

He seemed particularly interested in a scene of the leading ladies exchanging pet names in bed, a smile spreading across his face. 

She teased, “What are you all smiley about?” 

“The fusion I visit on my birthday, she calls me sweet names like that. Like cutie pie and sweetheart.” 

“She got those from Earth, right?”

“Yes, she spent time on Earth before she returned to Homeworld. Her components were set on a mission and decided to become a _permafusion!_ A Ruby and a Sapphire, two Gems that shouldn’t even be _speaking_ and they fuse for almost six thousand years, total scandal.” 

Connie frowned, “It must be stressful having to follow all those rules, I could never.” 

“That’s obvious,” he snickered, she playfully narrowed her eyes, 

“Whaddya mean?”

“We’re talking, me and you. We’re...friends.” he supplied, blushing, “Your Crystal Gems made it rather clear that that was not supposed to happen. You’re rebelling in a group of _rebels!_ Stars, you’re White’s worst nightmare.” 

A flicker of pride filled her chest, being told by a Diamond that she was the supreme Diamond’s worst nightmare wasn’t something she took lightly, “Why, thank you.” she eyed the Warp, why not break a few more rules while she was at it? “Come with me,” 

He stood with her, their hands lacing together (strange how quickly she’d gotten used to holding his hand), “Where are we going?” 

She swiped the Warp Hijacker from the counter, “Somewhere cool, hopefully.” 

Connie stepped through the barrier and pulled Steven through, the slap of his flip-flops and the soft percussion of her tennis shoes echoing. He looked around, “The Gems programmed it so I can’t use it, yes?”

“Not without a chaperone and I am happy to chaperone you today, Steven.” she set the coordinates to random, thankful for once for Peridot’s insistence towards adding a plethora of unneeded features to her gadgets, “Gimme one second.” she hopped off and went to grab her sword, strapping it behind her back, “Can never be too careful! Ready?”

“Yes! Very much yes!” 

She pressed the button and their world went blue, gasps of thrill escaping them as they soared upward through the Warpstream. Steven was looking everywhere at once, the blue light glittering against his irises, “This is _incredible!”_ he whispered. 

“Get ready for landing!” 

He braced himself, their feet falling on solid crystal yet again, this time surrounded by an expanse of desert. Connie shielded her eyes from the sun while Steven hopped off, “Where are we now?” 

“A desert.” she stated, Steven knelt down and grabbed a handful of orange sand, 

“What’s all this stuff?”

“Sand!” 

He let it fall from his fingers, “It’s glittery.”

“It’s quartz! They used to be way bigger but they’ve been eroded away over millennia.” 

Steven’s eyebrows drew together, he looked at the sand in horror, “Oh, stars, were they shattered?” 

“N-No, Steven, this is just Earth quartz not Gem Quartz.” she explained, helping him back up, “They were never alive, it’s okay.” 

“Whew, good.” he wiped sweat from his brow, “I’m really glad you’re here with me, Connie, I wouldn’t know what any of this was without you,”

She smugly nodded, “I’ve got this completely handled, just stick with me an―AH!” she jumped at the sound of her ringtone, her phone vibrating in her back pocket, “Oh, hah, it’s just my phone, it’s oka…” Bismuth’s contact photo took up her screen, _“shit.”_

Her confidence immediately blew away, replaced by a hearty dose of panic. Luckily, it wasn’t a video call so she wouldn’t have to make up several excuses as to why she was suddenly in a _desert_. Steven tilted his head to the side, “Is something wrong?”

She could tell him, of course, but Steven did not seem particularly skilled in keeping cool under pressure shown by how quickly he had started sweating and stammering the last time the Gems had nearly caught them.

“Nothing’s wrong, just, uh, don’t make any noise for a bit, okay?”

He nodded, miming zipping his lips shut. It was cute to seem him pick up little gestures and phrases from their movie binges, just insignificant human things. 

Connie took a deep breath and steadied herself before pressing answer, “Good afternoon, Bismuth, this is Connie Maheswaran,” 

“Hah, I know it’s you, soldier!” her warm voice came, it sounded like they were somewhere with rain which assuaged her fear that she’d Warped them right into the Gem’s search, “Just callin’ to check on you, Con. Everything good at the fort?” 

“Mmhm! Perfectly good,” she turned away from Steven as if Bismuth could see from her eyes, “almost boring.” 

Lapis shouted something, Peridot shouted something back, “Will you two hardheads stop talkin’ about that camp show?!” Peridot said something about Lapis not supporting the same ship as her, Bismuth groaned, “Wishin’ I was there with you, Connie, these two can be a handful.”

“Yeah, haha.”

“...Where are ya? It sounds windy,” 

“Home! I’m home, just...uh...just watching the nature channel. They’re talking about deserts and...sand…” 

“Deserts, huh?” she paused, “Oughta take you to one someday, I reformed in a desert after the war. Crazy beasts in deserts...how’s the prisoner? She’s not given’ you any trouble, right?” 

“Hm, uh, nope! He... _She’s_ just been...y’know” she spun back around and nearly screamed. Steven was currently petting the mane of a _literal pink lion_ with a bright grin, he waved at her eagerly once he caught her staring dumbfoundedly, 

_“Look, Connie!! We match!!”_ he hoarsely whispered, comparing his hair to the mane of the wild animal. 

“LION!” 

“Whoa, Connie!” Bismuth’s voice came, “Everything alright?” 

She composed herself as Steven tried to mount the animal, “Yes!” she exclaimed, “ _Yes!_ She’s just been, uh, _lying_ around all day, sad we’ve totally ca-captured her probably.” the lion bared its sharp teeth and Steven oohed, pulling his mouth aside to show off his own pointed set, “Totally under control, it’s _so_ under control.” 

“That’s...good…” 

“Yup!” Steven shoved his whole arm into the lion’s mouth, “ _Steven!_ Uh, S-Steven the lion! On my nature show, he just got bit, oh gosh!” 

Bismuth made a pitying sound, “That’s a shame, I’ll let you get back to it. Talk to you later, Connie.”

“Bye! See you tomorrow!”

“See you tom―”

She shut the phone off before Bismuth could finish, running over to Steven with her sword held high and pulling him back by the midsection, “Steven! Do _not_ put your hand in a lion’s mouth!”

“Lion? Is that his name?” he cupped the animal’s face, the lion seeming way too patient with him, “Hello, Lion! I’m Steven.” 

He looked back to Connie, “We’re friends now, too! I have _two_ friends now!” then back to the lion, “Lion, this is my friend Connie. She’s very nice and smart and pretty,” 

“Pretty?” she echoed then shook her head, pulling him a bit further, “Lion’s are dangerous, Steven.”

“ _You’re_ dangerous!” he countered, pulling away and going back up to the lion, “Hey, pretty boy,” the animal yawned, showing his whole collection of teeth capable of tearing both of them apart before he sprawled out on the ground. Stars erupted in Steven’s eyes, “Aw!! He’s just a baby!” 

“That is a fully grown lion. A fully grown _pink_ lion,”

“He’s wonderful!” 

“He could _kill you!”_

“But he hasn’t! We’re best friends,” 

She wished Steven claiming a _lion_ was his best friend didn’t make her as slightly jealous as it did. Steven laid against the body of the lion, closing his eyes peacefully. They did go well together, they looked perfectly matched _plus_ it was definitely nice to see Steven relaxed for once. 

“...He does seem to like you.” she crouched down, “But how is he _pink?”_

“Maybe he just turned pink like me! Maybe he used to be all normal then he turned pink,” he postulated, Connie opened her mouth to question the statement but decided against it. Steven was having a good time and any questions about his past were sure to ruin that. She ran her hand against the lion’s back, putting her sword back into its scabbard, 

“He’s cute.” 

Steven cracked his eye open, “Can he come back with us?”

“Oh, Steven, n-no. The Gems wouldn’t allow it,”

“Hm…” he whimpered, wrapping his arms around the lion and _picking it up_ effortlessly _,_ holding him like someone would hold a wet cat, “but he’s _so cute!!”_

Connie gaped, “Okay. One: We really can’t bring him home, he belongs in the desert. He’s a lion. And two: You definitely have some kind of super-strength because you are _not_ supposed to be able to hold him like that.”

Steven looked surprised, “Really? He isn’t very heavy,”

“Definitely super-strength,” she made a mental note to add this newest discovery into her notebook, “wow, Steven, your powers are popping up quick...who knows how many you have?” 

That made her pause. Who _did_ know? What would happen to Steven once he _did?_ Would he lose his childlike personality and dive headfirst into being the all-powerful Diamond he was meant to be? Thinking Steven was powerful was a whole lot different from _knowing_. 

Steven set down the lion, “Are you okay? You feel bad to me.” 

_Probably some empathic powers as well_ , Connie thought. She shook her head, “No, sorry, I just spaced out for a second. It’s just...really hot.” 

He frowned then flinched from some unseen force, holding his head then looking down at his feet, _“Something’s down there…”_ he muttered, he shook it off, “I’m ready to go back, something’s...wrong here.” 

“Um...sure, no problem.” she said, Steven pet Lon one more time, 

“Bye, Lion! It was nice to meet you!” he placed a kiss on his snout, “I love you!” 

The lion was still completely unbothered, she patted his head, “Bye, buddy.”

Lion purred a goodbye.

◈

Connie had a terrible idea. 

One she couldn’t seem to shake. 

Barely an hour after they’d returned from their short outing, Connie had gotten a series of texts from Sadie detailing something Connie usually wouldn’t think twice about―a rave. Well, a rave in most senses, Sadie had insisted there wouldn’t be any drugs as her friend who organized it (bizarrely named Sour Cream) didn’t want to risk getting shut down by the cops and by Connie’s understanding of raves from stories, they usually contained drugs. Still, it was going to be held in a dilapidated warehouse (‘It’s totally safe, SC raves there like every week.’ Sadie had said) and, most importantly, there would be dancing. 

‘You should bring your friend’ she had suggested but, unfortunately, Connie was way ahead of her. 

The second Sadie had mentioned a party the plan had begun to form in her head, visions of her and Steven dancing with each other (like friends do), of them smiling and laughing at how bad they both were flooded her head. One last hoorah before the Gems returned and they would be forced to go back to pretending to not know each other until Connie _somehow_ convinced them he wasn’t a threat, which was quite a task seeing as she was still convincing herself. 

But still, Steven said he wanted to dance with somebody and some part of her wanted to, too. She laid out the pros and cons, then really started to stretch the pros so they’d come close to outweighing the cons. 

Would Steven even _like_ parties? It had taken him a bit to get used to other people and that had been in a normal environment―not one with yelling and loud music and with people pushing and shoving each other. She could just ask him, he was currently asleep in her lap trying to sleep off a headache that’d formed not long after they returned. He’d ended up with his head in her lap and she’d somehow fell into combing her fingers through his curls. It had taken a while for her to notice but once she did...she couldn’t find it in her to stop. 

Gently, she rocked him awake. 

“...Pe’rl?” he mumbled sleepily, 

“No, it’s Connie, I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Oh,” he focused on her, “go ‘head.” 

“Do you want to go to a party?”

“A...what?” 

She tried to think of a good way to explain it, settling on explaining it as when a group of people get together to celebrate or have fun. He yawned but his eyes were sparkling, “That sounds amazing,” 

“There’s going to be dancing!” 

“Dancing!” he gasped, “Like with other people?” 

Connie made an affirming sound, “With music, too!” 

“Music, oh stars...I’ve never heard Earth music before.”

“I play the violin, maybe I could show you sometime,” 

“Can...can you show me now?” 

She blushed, she didn’t play in front of other people often and she hadn’t had much time to practice since her parents were taken by Homeworld Gems, “Maybe later. What do you think about the party,” 

Steven fiddled with the hem of his shirt, “I-I don’t know, I’m not great with humans.”

“Neither am I.” she snarked, Steven giggled, 

“Then we’ll do it together, right?” his eyes flicked back to her, the warm light of the lamp glittering against his pupils. She smiled, 

“Together.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> connie is dodging those heterosexual thoughts like a PRO i love her
> 
> steven: i have a headache  
> connie: here's a benadryl  
> steven: this shit hits [passes out]


	5. Normal Teenage Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the duo goes to a party and separately have a Straight Up Bad Time
> 
> also the song i use here is swing lynn by harmless and id kill and maim to dance with somebody to it

5

Normal Teenage Party

  
  


Connie was good at plans. 

She was comfortable when she had a plan, a clean-cut, preferably color-coded, schedule of what was supposed to happen when. Up until everything in her life had gone topsy-turvy, she’d even had a 25-year-plan she’d started in 3rd grade (most people stopped at 20 years but she wasn’t one to be caught off guard). Maybe that was why she didn’t like the idea of parties: There was never a _plan._ It was all about going with the flow and feeling the moment under multicolored lights, sharing secrets you wouldn’t remember in the morning, never knowing what would happen next. It was _chaos._ It’d been what turned her off from going to any of her school dances, that and her aversion to attention. The most she could plan when it came to the rave was that they would arrive at sundown and at some point they would leave. It was alarmingly barebones. 

Steven didn’t seem to be put off by this. He was practically _buzzing_ with excitement, his ponytail bouncing all around with his excited movements. He was so eager that he forgot to speak English at times, slipping into the Gem’s native musical language with every other word. Connie watched amusedly from her seat, mentally thinking over everything they’d need so they wouldn’t get dehydrated or hungry or get separated or get locked out or lose track of time or―

“Is there a uniform?” Steven asked, snapping Connie out from her planning. 

“A uniform?”

“For the party! What are we supposed to wear, what’s the protocol?” 

Connie clicked her tongue, “Um, there’s none? You can pretty much wear whatever. Some people do their hair and makeup nice for parties but I don’t know if this is that kind of party.” 

“There are different kinds?”

“I mean, yeah, my mom used to host dinner parties every weekend for the other doctors at her hospital and for those I had to get really dressed up or if we went to see my grandparents I’d wear my sari.” Steven nodded along even though she was pretty sure he didn’t know what half of her sentence had even meant, “They don’t have galas or balls on Homeworld?” 

Steven shrugged, “I don’t know. There’s been nothing to celebrate since I arrived, Pearl told me there used to be commencements at the beginnings of new Eras but we’ve been in Era Two for so long...who knows if they’ll ever hold another.” 

Connie questioned, “How do Eras start?”

“Well, Era One was the beginning of everything and, um, Era Two…” he averted his eyes, his energy dimming, “was the shattering of Rose Quartz.” 

Her shoulders slumped, “Right.”

Of course, Homeworld would consider the demise of their greatest enemy something worthy of celebrating. It was unnerving to her how different the reactions to Rose Quartz’s shattering was―on Earth: Mourning and hopelessness, on Homeworld: A party. 

“Did you know her?” Steven asked, Connie looked at him quizzically, “Rose Quartz. Did you know her?”

“She died nearly six thousand years ago, Steven.” she said flatly, she sighed, “No. I never got to meet her. I wish I could’ve, though. She’s my hero, my _total_ hero, she rose up against tyranny―against everything she was programmed to think―and _fought_ for what she believed in!!” Connie couldn’t help but stare into space, imagining Rose Quartz battling against the forces of Homeworld, “She saw Earth as something _worthwhile,_ as something worth saving! Who knows what she would have accomplished if Pink Diamond hadn’t shattered her…how better off Earth would be if Rose was still around...” 

Her vision focused back on Steven, his glassy eyes staring back at her. He pressed his lips into a line and swatted at something unseen, “Sh...She sounds nice.” 

Connie realized her misspeakings all too late, “Oh, Steven, I didn’t―” 

“What are we wearing to the party?” he interrupted, putting on the fake smile he seemed so adept with. His hands betrayed his confidence, trembling to the point where he stuffed them into his shorts pockets to hide them. Was he itching to scratch into the flesh of his arm again? “Connie? Pl-Please give me an answer.” he swatted at something again. 

What did friends do to comfort each other? 

“Are you okay with hugs?” 

Steven looked as caught off guard as she was at herself for saying it, “What?”

“Hugs, I want to give you one because I think you might need one.” she stood and moved over to him, the difference between their heights highlighted when they were this close, “I know some people don’t like them but a lot has happened today and I think you― _oof!”_

Connie was nearly knocked off her feet by Steven’s deceptively strong arms wrapping around her, his head buried in the crook of her neck, “You’re warm.” he commented, muffled.

He smelled like outside and saltwater, she wrapped her arms around his torso. She felt his chest rise and fall against hers, a reminder of the human in him. Blood, organs, and life ran through him. She also felt the smooth surface of his gem underneath his shirt, a reminder of his impossible nature. 

She squeezed him and he squeezed back. 

◈

His flip-flops and her practical slip-on shoes slapped against grassy sand as they made their way to the half-collapsed building that sat on a cliff’s edge. Steven happily walked a few steps ahead of her, the moonlight glittering against the glitter he’d managed to convince her to put on both of their cheeks. They’d decided on both wearing a reliable shorts/t-shirt combination, something easy to move in (also easy to fight in Connie had pointed out, although Steven was concerned why one would ever need to fight at a party); Connie bearing a star-shaped clip in the back of her hair while Steven wore a star-dotted scrunchie. 

They could feel the music thrumming from the ground even from far away, Sour Cream’s reputation for electric sets already holding true. Steven’s excitement wasn’t enough to assuage her fears though, little worries about every single thing that could possibly go wrong. From her falling over herself on the dance floor to the Diamonds themselves appearing on the dancefloor to steal Steven back and awaken the Cluster. 

The latter was ridiculous and she knew that (mostly). How would the Diamonds even know where Steven was? Nobody on Earth other than her and the Gems knew that he was even on- _planet!_ And thanks to Connie’s heart-shaped glasses, they wouldn’t until they needed to. 

“I hear humans!” Steven whispered eagerly as they crested over the hill and the murmurs of a group of people met their ears. Connie grimaced―she was really doing this, huh? 

She shielded her eyes from the bright rainbow-colored lights that swirled from the stage; Steven giggled then turned to face her, reaching out his hand. Connie took it, pulled along into the crowd of young adults all moving in time to the music. The black light made everything glow, giving the party-goers an unearthly look. 

“Connie!!” Sadie’s voice came from where she stood with Lars and her other friends, the coolest kids in Beach City. She waved good-naturedly, inviting them over with a tilt of her plastic cup. She shuffled over, pulling Steven away from where he stood completely enraptured by the lights, 

“Heyyy…” Connie greeted. They were all so obviously dressed for a rave with their cool, trendy clothes and bright makeup, so clearly separating them from Connie and Steven: The bookish girl and the sheltered alien prince. One of Sadie’s friends, the mayor’s son Buck Dewey, gave her a nonchalant nod, 

“‘Sup.” 

The other, Jenny Pizza, regarded them, “Hey, Connie! Glad you could make it out to Sour Cream’s set, he is _killing it_ tonight!” 

“I _told_ him he had some fire heat on his hands!” Lars half-complained, half-congratulated, his skull-adorned plugs glowing under the blacklight. “Nobody listens to me!” Jenny rolled her eyes, 

“ _Anyways_.” she held out her hand towards Steven, “I’m Jenny, Sadie told me you’re new here.” 

Steven stared at her hand, then lifted the one currently intertwined with Connie’s, “I only hold hands with Connie, sorry.” 

Connie felt her cheeks heat up. Buck gave a thumbs-up, Jenny cracked a smile, “D’awww!!! You two are _adorable!”_

Lars narrowed his eyes, “I thought you guys weren’t dating…” 

“We aren’t!” she defended, he scoffed, 

“Does pink over there know that?”

Steven’s grip on her hand tightened, “How did you know?” 

“Know _what?”_

“That I’m...Pink…” 

Lars sneered, “Dude, I’m talking about your hair, chill out.” 

“Oh... _oh!”_ he smiled brightly, “I like your hair too, orange!” 

Sadie snickered, Connie finally let herself breathe again, “Well, um, I’ve just been showing Steven around Beach City, he really likes it so far.” 

He nodded to prove her point, Jenny raised an eyebrow, “Did she tell you about the freaky space stuff yet?” 

“Freaky space stuff?” he repeated, she nodded, 

“Yup! Apparently there was this huge war here eons ago between _aliens_ and they’re _still fighting_ like the bad guys send some, like, big monster or whatever down here every other day but it’s totally cool because Connie is a total _badass_ with a sword and she lives with aliens. Real ones. It’s _wild_ .” she took a sip from her cup before continuing, “Get this: The, like, main bad guy wants to _hollow out the entire planet_. Real sci-fi shit! What’s her name? Somethin’ like…”

Steven shifted, “Pink Diamond.” 

Jenny clicked her fingers, “Right! Pink Diamond, that’s the bitch!”

“Destroying the planet is a total vibe-ruiner.” Buck mused in his usual monotone voice, adjusting his cool shades. 

“Oh, jeez…” Steven sighed, “That sounds awful. This plan―this place is so...enchanting.” he lowered his voice, “What monster would want to destroy it?”

Sadie piped up, “It sounds scary but don’t worry. Connie and those Gems are going to handle Pink Diamond and it’ll be okay. There’s nothing for you to worry about, Steven,” Connie swallowed, Sadie patted Steven on the shoulder before she and Lars stepped away, “just have some fun tonight.” 

Steven let go of her hand, sticking it into his pocket. Jenny groaned, “Sorry, we just totally bummed you out. Hey, come with me and Buck, we’ll show you where the glowsticks are.” 

“What are glowsticks?”

“You got a lot to learn.” 

Jenny and Buck guided him away from Connie while they explained the intricacies of glowsticks, Connie’s heart rate jumped at suddenly being alone in a party full of people she didn’t know. What do people _do_ at parties? Well, _dance_ but she didn’t want to do that without Steven. Connie pressed herself against the wall, trying to make herself as small as possible. This wasn’t like the battlefield, she wasn’t able to stride out with her sword and cut down the enemy; that Connie didn’t exist at the moment. She wished she had a cup like everybody else, that way she could seem cool and nonchalant and totally in her element. 

She groaned, why couldn’t she be more like Steven? He’d gone from being more or less completely frozen in social situations to easily talking to people in barely twelve hours. At least there wasn’t any attention on her. Except…

There was a guy staring at her. 

Tall and lanky with a scarf around his neck, purposely messy hair and staring dead at her with a smirk. A chill ran up her spine, she looked away. 

When she looked up the guy was still staring at her. 

_“Ew.”_ she whispered, moving from her spot to go search for Steven. He shouldn’t be hard to find, he seemed to stick out in a crowd. She ran into Lars after a minute or two of searching, he looked down at her with an arched eyebrow, 

“What.” 

“Have you seen Steven?” 

He smugly smirked, “Your _boyyyfriiiend?_ ” 

Connie groaned, “Cut it out, Lars.” 

“Connie, real talk? I totally had you as the type to go for smart guys, but that Steven doesn’t seem like the brightest.” he stated, “He’s even weirder than the actual aliens that live here,”

Indignation rose in her throat, she inhaled forcefully, “Can you be nice to him? Please? H-He’s been through a lot and he hasn’t had a lot of chances to interact with people for a while.”

“Whoa.” he took a sip from his cup, she should really get a cup, “Like...bad stuff?”

“I think.”

“Like what?”

She threw her hands up, “I can’t tell you that! Just...I-I don’t like him being alone for too long, he’s not super…” _stable_ , she didn’t say. “y’know.” she did say. 

Lars searched her face, then pointed toward the stage, “I think I saw Buck and Jenny take him backstage a couple minutes ago. Probably showing him the setup or whatever,”

“Thanks.” she turned in the direction of the stage, Lars’ hand laid on her shoulder,

“Wait, Connie.” he scratched the back of his neck, “Steven isn’t in like _danger_ or anything, right?”

A small smile spread across her face, Lars could only hold up his apathetic act for so long, “He isn’t anymore.”

“Okay.” he nodded curtly, “Okay. Cool.”

Lars turned away, dancing back towards Sadie with a bored expression. Connie speed-walked towards the stage, whispering out apologies to every person she bumped on her way. The music was beginning to grate on her, not due to bad quality but due to the fact that it made the anxious voices in her head speak louder so she could hear them. She bumped into yet another body, “Oof, pardon me,”

“Is that…” Buck turned around, relief visible on his face, “Connie, alright, cool. Is Steven with you?”

 _“Huh?!”_ her chest tightened, “Wasn’t he with you?!” 

Jenny joined his side, “He was! We were backstage to grab some glowsticks and he started freaking out and just booked it! I tried to follow him but that kid is _fast.”_

Sweat beaded on her forehead, “Wh-Where did he go?” 

The two pointed to where the wall had been completely torn away, “He may just need some space, though.” 

Connie huffed, “I-I don’t...I don’t want him to be alone. I’ll be back.” 

She dove back into the crowd, making it just to the edge of the horde before a hand grabbed her shoulder firmly. Connie pulled away from the touch, spinning around to face the assailant with a glare. It was the man from before, the one that had been staring at her, now wearing a dumb self-assured grin, “Whoa, baby, you don’t gotta get defensive.” he said, slime dripping from every word, “I just want to talk.” 

“I can’t talk right now.” 

He moved around her to block her path outside, “Is it the pink-haired kid? Forget about him. It’s Kevin time now.” 

Connie took a large step back, “‘ _That pink-haired kid’_ is my friend and he’s upset and I want to be there for him. So, _please_ let me go.” 

“You haven’t even told me your name!” he argued, placing a hand on her waist. She shuddered, pulling it off, “Playing hard to get?”

“I’m not―I…” she groaned, “I’m not interested. I’m sixteen.” 

“And?”

She retched, “Please do not touch me.”

Kevin flipped his stupid hair, “Baby, pretty girl like yourself shouldn’t be chasing after boys like that.” he reached out, “C’mere. Let’s dance, I can get you a drink and we can just chill together, okay?”

Connie frowned, “Stop calling me baby. I-I’m uncomfortable and I’m going to leave.” 

“Don’t delay fate, sweetheart,” his hand laid on her hip, his fingers looping around her belt loops, “Just dance with me!”

Her punch landed before she’d realized she’d thrown it. A satisfying _crack_ of her fist against his stupid smug face was enough to bring her to speed, Kevin reeling back with a gasp of pain as the music suddenly shut off. Connie gaped, all eyes suddenly on her and her alone. 

“Get that guy out of here!” Sour Cream ordered, “She’s sixteen, dirtbag!” 

A couple of the more muscular party-goers came forward and quickly did away with the creep, all while he spat derogatory words Connie’s way. All eyes were still on here, everybody was staring and whispering and gossiping. Her knuckles ached. Everything was too fast and too slow at the same time. Was the music even playing or was she still in total silence, surrounded by open-mouthed people? 

Sure wasn’t sure how long she’d stood there until she managed to convince her body to use the now cleared path to get to her friend. The warmth of early summer air wrapped around her as she staggered down the hillside until she saw the hunched over body of Steven, he was swatting at something unseen again but she didn’t have the energy to question it. 

“Hey, Steven.” she muttered. He twisted around to face her, offering her a small wave, his glasses hanging off his shirt. 

“Hi, Connie.” she sat beside him, his brow furrowed, “Oh, no, you’re crying. Why are you crying? Are you okay?” 

She sniffed, shaking her head, “The-There was this _guy_ and he kept trying to ge-get me to d-dance a-and I was really uncomfortable and he just didn’t _care!”_

Steven’s face darkened, “He made you uncomfortable? On purpose?” 

“He di-didn’t even care how I felt.” 

There was something in the way Steven’s face shifted, something in the way his jaw set and his eyes narrowed that for the first time gave her the notion that Steven was a force to be reckoned with. That Steven was a Diamond, “Who.” 

Connie dried her tears, “Some guy named Kevin.” 

“What do you want me to do with him?” 

There was a glint in his eyes that proved his seriousness; whatever she said, he would do, “Nothing. I want to just forget about him.”

“He shouldn’t be allowed to make my Connie uncomfortable.”

She managed a smile at that. _His_ Connie. 

“He’s a loser. A total loser.” she tilted her head towards the warehouse, “I-I just don’t think I can go in there again, everybody saw me punch him.”

His eyes shined, “You punched him?”

“Hard.”

“Yes!” 

She snorted then sighed, “I’m sorry I ruined your dancing plans.”

He waved her off, “I can’t go back either, the two cool humans, they brought me into this dark room and it just...it just reminded me too much of something Yellow would do to me if I acted out.” he tucked a loose curl behind his ear, “I panicked, I thought I was back in the Tower and that everything so far had been some sort of dream…” 

“So, you ran.” she finished, Steven bowed his head.

“I really thought I could _do it,_ y’know? I was excited and I was able to, um, function on that excitement until I was in that room and it all just came crashing down on me.” he picked an eyelash off his pink eye, “That I’m different. I’m ‘the bitch, Pink Diamond’.” Swearing sounded too delicate on his tongue, Connie put her arm around his shoulder. “I just wish I always knew what to do like you.”

She couldn’t help the laugh that barked from her throat, “ _Me?!_ I-I _never_ know what I’m doing when it comes to this stuff. I’m good with strategy and plans, parties freak me out!” she explained in a rush of words, gesturing with her hands, “ _I’ve_ been thinking I wanted to be more go with the flow like _you!”_

“Are you _kidding?!”_ he snickered, “I _love_ plans! I’m literally programmed to. Being human is all about being _spontaneous!_ Running through an airport to tell somebody you love them! I just wanted to try it for once.” 

“Well, then we’re _both_ bad at being human if that’s the case.” Connie joked, Steven scrunched up his face, 

“I don’t think you’re bad at being human,”

“Why thank you.” she laid her head on his shoulder, “Still, I wish we could’ve danced like you wanted,” she said, “I was excited to.” 

The air felt warmer than in the warehouse―a more comfortable warmth that curled around them rather than it sticking to their skin. Steven laid his head against hers, wisps of his hair edging into her vision. Neither of them considered the separate panic they’d felt just a moment ago, it was just them and the clicking of crickets. She was quite content to sit there for as long as he’d let her. 

“Can’t we dance here?” he asked softly after some time. Connie perked up, using her free hand to slip her phone from her pocket.

“Not a bad idea, Steven.” her finger glided across her playlists trying to find a song to dance to, apprehension filled her―she’d never had been in this situation and she didn’t want to do it _wrong_ . What if she picked the wrong song? Was there a wrong song to _pick_? It was just...dancing, dancing with her friend Steven. She settled on an airy, light song with the guitars looping around each other. She stood up from Steven’s grasp, offering him his hand but faltered upon seeing his closed eyes. “Steven?”

He sheepishly smiled, “You said you didn’t like people watching,”

“You’re not ‘people’,” she said, he cracked his eyes open as his smile grew. His hand grasped hers’s and they began an awkward dance, both of them slowly spinning around each other while the raspy voice singer began. 

_Hey there little honey won't you groove, I've been trying all night to dance with you_

A blush crept up her face. Maybe the song was a _hair_ more romantic than she’d intended, Steven didn’t seem to mind though. His eyes hadn’t left her’s yet. 

As the song progressed, Connie felt herself relax. Their movements were less stilted and neither had stopped smiling as they twirled each other in the grass as the song echoed up into the sky. In a moment of bravery, she let her hands drop from his shoulders to his waist despite her thrumming heart. Steven kept his laced behind her neck, not seeming to notice that her’s had even moved. 

_You said "I know I feel very much the same but I am afraid that I don't know, knowing is not my thing"_

He nearly tripped, a gasp escaping his throat as Connie deftly caught him. He breathlessly laughed, “Thanks.”

She righted him, just a bit closer than he had been a moment ago, “Don’t worry about it.” 

_But I'm sure, I’d like to be with you. Awkwardly in haze, to our little tune._

Yeah, this sound was more romantic than she remembered. 

His hands were almost inhumanly soft, which made sense considering who he was. He set them back behind her neck, she placed her hands back on his waist, grazing over his gem in the process. He inhaled sharply, pulling away. Connie paled, “I’m sorry.”

Steven swallowed, “No, no.” he resumed his position, “I trust you.”

_Well, if you are sure._

_Well, I know I'm sure._

There was a pink light and not much else. 

◈

Connie _(Steven)_ opened her _(his)_ eyes. 

The first thing she _(he)_ noticed was that her _(his)_ skin felt like fizzing bubbles. Everything felt like sweet syrup wrapping around her _(him)_. 

The second thing was the butterflies. _(that were always there)_

Glowing, glinting butterflies that sat on every surface, flapping ethereal wings. _(he swatted at them)_

Her _(his)_ hands startled her _(him)_ ―long and dexterous, smooth in the palm but rough at the tips, a light brown color. A pair of sandals and practical slip-on shoes were tossed in the sand a ways away. 

_“What?”_ Her _(his)_ hands searched their body, coming across a shining pink gem embedded in _(his) (her) (their)_ navel, “Steven?” they spoke again, _“Connie!”_ the butterflies flew closer, they swatted at them but it didn’t do much, “Oh, no, no, no!” 

Just like that, suddenly they were two people again. Steven was bright red, furiously swatting around his head while Connie tried to quell the delirious joy in her chest. She grinned, _“What was that?!”_

“I’m _so_ sorry, C-Connie! I di-didn’t mean to! I didn’t even think that was _possible!”_

“Steven, what _was_ that?” 

“Fusion!” he cried. Connie’s eyes widened, she knew Gems had the ability to combine their forms but had never once thought that she’d ever _do it_. She never knew it’d feel that _amazing!_ Steven worked hard to look everywhere but her, “I-It’s because I’m half-human! Oh, I’m so _stupid!”_

She crawled toward him, “Steven. Steven. Hey.” she pulled his fisted hands from his curls, “It’s okay, I had...fun! It was new and it was really…”

 _“Good.”_ they both whispered, Steven blushed deeper. He stood and stuck out his hand, an invitation. Connie accepted, they stepped away from each other, then closer, then he spun her around before pulling her in one more time. Both of them laughed, breathless. 

They were back. 

“What do I look like?” they wondered aloud, trying to stand on their wobbling long legs. They wore a strange mish-mash of their components’ outfits―two-toned shorts and Steven’s shirt underneath Connie’s opened button-up, “Who am I even?” they didn’t feel like Steven, they didn’t feel like Connie. They just felt like them. “Fusions are supposed to _know_ who they are once they’re formed, right? Why don’t I?” they walked in circles, throwing their arms out to balance themselves, “Maybe it’s because I’m different? Huh. Well. Steven and Connie make…” they glanced up to the stars, “Stevonnie.” 

Stevonnie walked over to Connie’s discarded phone, dusting the sand off the screen before opening the camera app and turning it onto themself. They had a long, rounded face with an upturned hooked nose and long eyelashes. Their eyes, one brown and the other mostly brown with the exception of blobs of pink in the hue, intrigued them, “Hm, pretty!” 

Their curious hands pulled at the scrunchie holding up their hair and let their thick locks fall to their shoulders. It was at some midpoint between curly and wavy, black up until the lower half which was exclusively pastel pink. Stevonnie tied their hair back up, flopping back onto the ground. Something about being them felt safe. Some part of them wasn’t...used to that. 

They played the song over again, exhaling and closing their eyes. 

The butterflies kept their distance, some flying off from view. 

◈

The moon was high in the sky by the time they unfused. Steven helping Connie up and the two linking hands as they made their way back to the beach house, they were still dancing in some weird way. Light bobbing and giggles following them on their way home, 

“Did you have a good time?” she asked once they reached the beach, the silence hadn’t been uncomfortable, it had just been needed. Steven beamed, 

“The best time!” twirling her around once more, Connie laughed, 

“Ha! Stop, goofball!” she smiled, “By the way, what were those butterfly things?”

Steven sighed, “They show up when I...when I’m not feeling well. They’re annoying.”

“Can you see them now?”

“Yes.” he admitted, he turned to her and nudged her, “There’s way less now, though.” 

Connie’s eyes twinkled, “Good.” 

The stairs creaked under their bare feet, Steven hummed, “I decided I like Earth music,”

“There’s a lot of it, I’ll show you more sometime.” she offered, “Maybe when the Gems go out on another mission we can go down to a show or something!”

“A show?” 

“It’s when musicians play their music and a bunch of people come together to dance and listen; there’s a big underground music scene in Beach City so we could definitely find a show nearby.” 

Steven looked confused, “Why would they play music underground?”

She snickered, “It’s a turn of phrase, Steven. And if we can’t find one close, I could always ask Mr. Universe to drive us! He’d love to, he’s always wanted to get me listening to ‘good music’.”

“Who is Mr. Universe?”

She fumbled for her keys, “He works at the car wash, he’s super nice. He used to be a musician but he still plays just for fun, he tried to teach me ukulele one time but I never picked it up.” 

He brightened, “You think he’d teach me?”

“Definitely.” the lock clicked, “You would really like him probably, you guys act a lot alike, honestly.” 

Steven pushed the door open, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll take you to meet him sometime.” 

“I’d really like…” Steven went rigid, eyes widening, “oh, stars…”

Connie stepped inside, “Steven? What’s…” her breathing stopped once she entered, “oh, god.” 

Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot glared at her, both with varying amounts of shock and disappointment written on their faces. Bismuth set her jaw, “You better have a damn good explanation for this.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bismuth: explain yourself  
> connie: wait i can exp  
> bismuth, gesturing to steven: you're straight?????? connie who do you think we are?


	6. Hidden in the Sand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is so fun to write that's why chapters are taking me like three goddamn seconds

6

Hidden in the Sand 

The silence lasted for either one second or a trillion years.

Connie’s mind raced to think of a good enough excuse; one that’d explain why she was currently holding Pink Diamond's hand after a night of partying, both of them wearing glitter on their faces and blushing red. She came up with nothing more than a feeble stammer of: “I-I thought you guys were coming back tomorrow,”

Lapis narrowed her eyes, “Bismuth thought you sounded weird when she called you earlier, we were  _ worried _ something was up” she sharply gestured to a still frozen Steven, “and we were right.” 

“How’d she get past the forcefield?! Is she wearing  _ glitter?”  _ Peridot frowned, Steven hid his face behind his hands, flustered. 

Bismuth pinched her nose bridge, “Connie, this is unacceptable. This is  _ beyond  _ unacceptable. I  _ thought  _ you understood that she is enemy number  _ one.”  _

Connie felt the comfort of just her and Steven leaving, “It’s different, yo-you don’t understand!”

“I don’t  _ understand?”  _ Bismuth repeated, her voice gravelly, “Connie, I love you, but you’re the one who doesn’t understand. I’ve faced down Diamonds before―all of ‘em except White. They took everything from me, my friends  _ shattered  _ and  _ corrupted.  _ You think I don’t understand a Diamond?” 

Steven's eyebrows drew together, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Can it, princess.” 

Connie tried to put together a defense, maybe her semester and a half of debate club could be put to use, “I know. I  _ know _ I wasn’t there for the war but I do know that Steven isn’t like the other Diamonds. Blue Diamond was mad at him for trying to escape, Yellow Diamond put him in a-a  _ tower,  _ and White…” she thought back to the pink copy of Steven standing motionless at White Diamond’s feet, “did something. He’s not like them!”

“Why are you calling her Steven?” Lapis sneered, Connie bit the inside of her cheek, 

“That’s his name. That’s the name he  _ chose _ , he doesn’t even want to be known as Pink Diamond here. That’s gotta count for something.”

Peridot made a nasally sound, “Eh, well, it’d be unwise for her to go by that name while knowing that she is a villain on this world.” 

“Pearl, th-the Pearl I fought. She called him Steven, but only when Blue Diamond was gone.” she argued, “He wants to be Steven.” 

“You fought a  _ Pearl?!”  _ Peridot asked wide-eyed, “Pearls aren’t for battle, they’re for standing around and looking pretty!” 

Bismuth gave a dismissive gesture, “Never mind that. It doesn’t matter what she  _ wants  _ to be, she’s a Diamond!” 

“A-And you’re a Bismuth! You told me Bismuths were made to create spires and str-structures for elites on Homeworld, right? Lapis and Peridot used to be  _ loyal  _ to Homeworld like all the other Crystal Gems!” Connie shot back, Steven’s eyes going back and forth between them, “But you  _ changed,  _ Bismuth! You’re the leader of the rebellion!”

“ _ No.”  _ her face darkened, Connie took a step back with words burning in her chest, “ _ Rose  _ was the leader of the rebellion but she’s  _ gone  _ now thanks to her, we had to rebuild the Crystal Gems from the ground up. Homeworld plays dirty, they let us have the tiniest spark of hope that it was over with that blasted ‘double shattering’ theory.” she balled her fists, “Even when they  _ knew _ that Rose Quartz was shattered, that this planet was still in danger,”

Steven cocked his head to the side, “The  _ what?”  _

“Don’t act stupid, Diamond.”

Connie pressed harder, “Steven...Steven doesn’t  _ want  _ to hurt Earth! The other Diamonds are forcing him to, they want him to act like a Diamond b-but he’s not like them. He wants to save the planet.” she stood by his side, “He’s like us.”

Lapis eyed him suspiciously, “Why would she want to save Earth?”

“Because it’s my home,” Steven said quietly, all eyes swiveled to him, “this is where I should...be.” he took a deep breath and a step forward, his hands shaking at his sides, “I-I was made on Earth, I’m half-human.” 

Peridot’s eyes looked like they were in danger of falling out of her head, “You’re  _ what?!  _ That’s impossible!” 

“You can check for yourself,” he took another step closer, reaching out his arm to the small green Gem. Peridot eyed him suspiciously before she gingerly laid two fingers on his wrist, her mouth falling open, 

“A heartbeat,” she whispered, astonished. Lapis hopped down from her spot on the counter, shoving Peridot aside and replacing her fingers with her own. She inhaled sharply, pulling her fingers away like Steven’s skin had burned her.

“You really weren’t kidding,” she looked completely lost, “But how is this…”

Steven pulled his arm back, “My father was a human and to have me my mother had to give up her physical form.” he pulled the hem of his shirt up, the diamond glinting in the light, “I have her gem and some...memories...but other than that, the real Pink Diamond is gone. Connie came to my chambers fully intent on following your directions, Bismuth, but I can’t be destabilized. I’ve tried many, many times.” he added, eyes sincere, “I-I know you don’t trust me―and honestly, I...I wouldn’t either―but in the short amount of time I’ve been here, I-I know Earth is something worth saving and something I want...to protect.” 

“How do you expect us to believe you?”

“I don’t.” he admitted, “Homeworld has hurt this planet, me existing has hurt this planet. I can’t take any of it back and that really” he picked at his band-aid, “hurts  _ me _ .” Steven folded his hands together, “I’m supposed to still be on Homeworld, I’m on punishment. Blue said she’d return to my chamber in five cycles but I’m not sure on how long that is in Earth time.”

Peridot made a so-so gesture, “Ten days, give or take.” 

“Thank you. Connie explained to me that your original plan was to use me as ransom so Homeworld will abandon the colonization of this planet, the Diamonds will find a way to contact you and I will happily play my part. You will probably be contacted by Yellow, she is not so easily swayed by emotion.” 

Bismuth relaxed her hands, resorting to crossing her arms, “Won’t she do anything to get her fellow Diamond back?”

“Not if it’s me.” he muttered, he pulled his hair out of the scrunchie, his curls falling to his shoulders. For a moment, it looked like Bismuth had seen a ghost, “We’re already running out of time, we have to have a good plan.” 

Connie furrowed her brow, “Wait, wait, but using you for ransom means that you’d have to go back to Homeworld.”

“Yes.”

“But I...you…” she pushed down her emotions, the planet was more important than her feelings. But still, they’d only known each other for four days and yet there was so much she’d miss once he was gone. 

She’d miss tearing down cheesy romcoms with him, eating strawberry toast with him while they watched the sunset, reading with him on her shoulder, explaining everything from rain to glowsticks to him while he had that look of wonder on his face, she’d miss watching him pick out a scrunchie in the morning, she’d miss dancing with him, she’d miss being Stevonnie. 

She’d miss him. 

She forced a confident look, “Nevermind, let’s get a plan together.”

Peridot already had out a screen, her nimble fingers poised above the projection, “So, we currently have six days until the Diamonds start looking for…” she paused, “him. A clear-cut manifesto is what we need to convince Yellow Diamond that it’s worth releasing Earth in return for Pink Diamond.” 

Lapis shrugged, “Shouldn’t we just say ‘give up or we’ll shatter him’ or something?” Steven frowned, she scoffed, “We  _ won’t,  _ it’s called making a threat.” 

“Who should be the one to talk to her?”

“Why can’t it be you?” Steven asked, hopping onto a stool to get a better view, “Peridots are good for giving directions, though you are smaller than most. Are you an Era Two Peridot?”

She rolled her eyes, “Obviously.  _ But  _ my small stature just makes my massive intellect all the more impressive! And I can’t be the one to speak to Yellow Diamond, I, uh, I did it last time.” 

Bismuth nudged her, “You called her a ‘clod’ right to her face! Take pride in that!” 

Steven’s eyes went starry, “That was  _ you?!  _ Oh, Yellow was  _ fuming  _ when that happened! I heard her stomping all around the halls, Pearl told me what happened and I couldn’t believe it! A Peridot from Yellow’s court insulting her to her  _ face _ . Wish I was brave enough for that, hah.” 

“Well, I am  _ incredibly  _ impressive.” Peridot boasted, Lapis snorted, 

“You screamed in the bathroom for like three days afterward  _ and  _ you only did it after deciding not to betray us.” 

“Lapis!! Not in front of our guest!” 

Bismuth peered at the screen, fragments of possible talking points strew about, “I got it. I’ll talk to the uppercrust, give her a piece o’ my mind. Question is: How do we contact them? The only Diamond Line on the planet blew up after Peridot got ol’ Yellow.” 

“Hm, I could rig up a rudimentary one with gear from the Kindergarten.” Peridot offered, “May take a couple days…”

Steven asked, “Can I help you? Pearl was always tinkering with tech back home and it always looked so fascinating, I’d love to be a part of it.”

“What kind of Pearl did they  _ give you?”  _

“She was my mother’s, she’s very nice to me.” he looked around himself, “She’d love it here.” 

The Gem considered Steven’s proposition before nodding, “It’d be good to have some extra hands on the project, you and me can go down to the Prime Kindergarten tomorrow morning and gather parts.” 

“Could I come with you?” Connie questioned, Bismuth shook her head, 

“No. You and me got training to do,” she said but Connie understood what she really meant. She wasn’t going to allow her relationship with Steven to progress any further. “Lapis, you up to spar tomorrow?”

The terraformer gave a quick nod, “Yeah, whatever.” 

Peridot tapped her chin, “Hrm, I guess I can deactivate the field now. No use to it if he can just bypass it.” she grabbed Steven by the arm and dragged him over to the field, “Show me how you get through.”

Following her directions, Steven stuck his arm through, shivering as his light-filled fissures crawled up his arm. Peridot squealed while Connie desperately wanted to pull him away, “Fascinating! You have a human body system  _ and _ Gem programming. That explains the off-color iris! Hm, what does Homeworld think of this, Pink...Pink?”

Steven stared intently at his arm, almost entirely pink. His expression was completely blank but he still trembled terribly, Connie couldn’t take it anymore. She ran forwards and pulled him away by his midsection, he gasped, “Sorry! Sorry, I-I zoned out.” he exhaled, cradling his arm, “Home-Homeworld doesn’t know about me, only a select few are allowed to see me. I’m Off-Color and that’s unacceptable as a Diamond.” 

“How old are you…?” Lapis asked, “Are you even a century old yet?”

“Pearl said I’m seventeen.” 

_ “Seventeen?!”  _ Peridot and Lapis chorused, Steven flinched at the shout. 

Peridot fretted, “You’re only a  _ year  _ older than Connie?” 

Lapis narrowed her eyes, “Only a  _ few  _ people have been allowed to see you for your entire  _ life?”  _

“Oh, stars, you’re young!”

“It’s like you’re trapped! It’s  _ just  _ like the mirror!”

Bismuth stood between them, “Hey. Hey. Simmer down,” she glanced over to Steven, “we have to figure out where to put... _ him  _ because I’m not allowing him to sleep in Connie’s room.” 

“We don’t really have a choice, Bismuth.” Lapis noted, gesturing to the star-emblazoned door with five small gems at the point of each star, “We can’t get the Temple door open so either he sleeps here or outside.”

She seemed to be considering the latter option, Connie piped up, “Bismuth, he’s been sleeping on the couch this whole time anyways, it’s okay.” 

“He’s been  _ what?”  _

She blushed, “I-I slept in my bed. He fell asleep while we were watching a movie and I didn’t want to move him. All we’ve been doing is hanging out and watching movies together inside.”

“Then why are you just coming home?”

“Okay. Tonight we  _ did  _ go to a party, Sadie told me about it…”

Lapis quirked up an eyebrow, “The donut girl?” 

Bismuth groaned, “That damn door…” she glared at the Temple door, “if we had Garnet, Pearl, and that Amethyst it’d be fine. They’d get that door open in a snap.” 

The lights flickered, Connie’s eyes went to Steven. He had a strange expression on his face, “Garnet, Amethyst, a-and Pearl.” he murmured, “That’s what you said, right?” 

“...Yes?”

His hands went straight for his hair, “The door sticks when it’s hot, the door―Amethyst Facet 5 cut 8XM from the Prime Kindergarten? A Ruby and a blue Sapphire?” 

“Well, we aren’t sure if the new recruit was even an Amethyst but, yeah, those were Garnet’s components. What of it?”

“But that doesn’t―carabiner, carabiner, carabiner―” he shook his head forcefully, “no, no. That doesn’t make sense, that doesn’t make any sense…” 

Connie lightly grabbed his shoulder, “Steven, are you―”

_ “There’s a dip in the floor by the door and it needs to be fixed before it’s ready!”  _ he blurted out, before Connie could ask what he meant by that he turned on his heels and sped out the door. 

“Hey!” the Gems shouted, Connie stopped them.

“He does this sometimes, he just needs to clear his head. He’ll be back.” both nights they’d been together, Steven had gotten up at a random point of the night and gone out to sit by the ocean. Both times he’d sounded as if he were crying, both times she didn’t bring it up in the morning, “The ocean helps him calm down, I think.”

Bismuth stared, “You’re talking like you two are friends.”

“We...we are, Bismuth. He’s really sweet once you get to know him,”

“You think you ‘know him’?” she sighed a gravelly sigh, “Sure. He’s half-human, he’s not like the other Diamonds. But, Connie, he’s  _ still  _ a Diamond. He finds all this stuff novel and  _ fun  _ but once the rarity wears off so will his sweetness.” 

Connie huffed, “Why can’t you give him a chance?” 

“Because I’ve seen how this ends.” she knelt so they were eye level, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But I do, I-I trust Steven and he trusts me. A guy made me really uncomfortable tonight and when I told Steven he wanted to go after him,” 

A fire lit in Lapis’ eyes, “Somebody messed with you? How badly did you get his sorry ass?” 

“Right hook in the jaw.”

“Good.”

Connie ran a hand through her hair, “He even fixed my eyes, Bismuth. He’s lived his whole life thinking he didn’t have powers and just  _ today  _ he’s discovered  _ four!”  _ she exclaimed, “The Diamonds have been lying to him but he’s  _ growing  _ here―isn’t that what we’re all about?” 

“Yeah, Bis,” Lapis said, blowing some of her messy hair from her eyes, “he’s barely older than  _ Connie _ and he’s been...trapped...for so long. Holed up in his own chambers with nobody allowed to know he exists, that’s torture.”

Lapis had a thing about being trapped. Having been stuck in a mirror, cracked and barely herself, for thousands of years until Bismuth had found and freed her. Thankfully, Rose Quartz’s fountain of healing tears was still functional enough to heal Lapis and Bismuth’s more gentle side had been enough to convince her to join the cause. Surely, hearing that Steven had had his own version of a mirror had been a solemn echo for her. 

“You know who else has been trapped?” Bismuth asked sharply, “ _ Connie’s parents _ . Kept in that damn Zoo for, what, two years now? How do you think  _ they  _ feel?” 

She felt a pang in her heart. With Steven around she’d been thinking about her parents much more often, reliving the moment of running as fast as her spindly legs would take her as they struggled against massive Topazes. She always thought about how they felt, in whatever cage the human Zoo had decided to keep them. She hoped they still had some hope that she’d rescue them one day. The Topazes had said they were under order of Pink Diamond but now Connie doubted that. 

“I know, I think about it all the time. I think about  _ them  _ all the time.” Connie said, “But not trusting Steven isn’t going to get them back.” 

Peridot raised a finger, “Also, having an alliance with the Diamond who controls this planet gives us a definite advantage and has the possibility for us to gain intel about the inner workings of Homeworld.” 

There was a beat of silence, then Bismuth’s heavy sigh, “Fine. Fine, not like I can put him in a bubble so he can stay. But I’m  _ not  _ playing nice with him, I don’t care what you three do.” she went to sit at the counter, glaring at the door, “How long does it take for him to come back?”

“Half an hour, usually.”

◈

Two hours later, Steven stumbled through the door looking haggard and completely drained. Lapis and Peridot looked up from the most recent binge session of Camp Pining Hearts, Bismuth didn’t bother moving. 

“Finally.” Lapis muttered. Steven’s wet eyes looked for something, he shook his head and walked up to Connie’s loft, sitting on the edge of her bed,

“I didn’t mean to take so long.” he hoarsely whispered, “My head’s spinning.”

She put her glasses frames in her bedside drawer beside the hibiscus Steven had tucked in her ear during their meeting, “You kinda ran out quickly, did something...happen?”

“I don’t know. Things just got really loud and…” he buried his head into his hands, “bright. My head is  _ spinning.”  _

Carefully, she untangled his hands from his hair, subtly checking if there were any more crescent-shaped marks in his skin. Thankfully, there were none, “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay? Get that glitter off your face.” 

“Okay.” 

The two of them went into the bathroom, Steven sitting limply on the floor as Connie used a damp cloth to wipe his face clean. It was like he wasn’t even there, his eyes staring off at something far beyond the bathroom walls. There was just the sound of their breathing, soft and delicate. 

She tossed the cloth into the hamper, still sitting across from Steven as it felt like he wasn’t ready to exist around other people as of yet. He was looking for something, she just got the feeling. 

“Do you ever have thoughts that” he licked his dry lips, “hurt?” 

“I don’t really understand what you mean.”

“Thoughts that, when you have them, they hurt you and you don’t know why?” he looked down at the tile, adding quietly, “Maybe you  _ shouldn’t  _ know why?”

She inched closer, placing her hand on his. He quickly drew back, pulling his hand into his lap, “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, everything is _too_ _much_ right now. Ta-Talking is hard, now.” 

Overstimulation. She remembered that word from when her mother had been studying up on a case, part of her wished her mom was there now to help her figure Steven out. 

“It’s okay.” she stood, “I’m gonna grab your pajamas and then you can go to sleep.” 

The Gems were staring when she exited, Peridot gave her a quizzical look, “What’s wrong with him?” 

She rolled her eyes at her bluntness, “He’s working through stuff, okay?” 

“Was just asking!” she turned back to her program, loudly arguing against the show’s main coupling. 

Connie scooped up Steven’s outfit of a worn green shirt and red flannel pants that she’d placed right beside his Diamond attire in her dresser. Steven hadn’t moved once she returned, if anything he looked even less aware; after a small bit of soft prodding he changed into his pajamas, her back turned to protect his privacy. He kept his distance from her once they exited and didn’t say a word as he grabbed his blanket from the couch and went back into his original ‘prison’. 

“...Steven?” 

He laid down and pulled the blanket over his head. 

She could feel the Gems staring at her. 

◈

_ “There’s a dip in the floor by the door and it needs to be fixed before it’s ready!” _

Connie awoke to the flicker of a TV and a familiar voice fuzzing in and out of static. Groggily, she opened her eyes, “...Guys? You left the TV on...” no voice answered her, she glanced out the window to see all three Gems having a conversation at the picnic table. “Ugh.”

_ “It’ll definitely be fixed before it’s ready for him to move in, trust us.”  _

She pulled the blanket off her, wiping sleep from her eye. Blearily, she ambled downstairs, the TV’s picture going in and out as she approached. They really needed to get a new one. 

_ “Is it cool for little man to be goin’ up that hill by himself? Little humans are real top heavy.”  _

Confusedly, she watched the show (?) on the TV. A small boy with dark hair dressed in a too-big red shirt crawled up a sandy hill, stopping and digging in the sand for something. 

_ “Oh, jeez, I’ll grab him.”  _

His pudgy hands grabbed something and pulled it free, it was a teddy bear dressed like an emcee. He whispered excitedly, his voice slurred with youth,  _ “Gotcha!”  _

Two hands came in from the corner,  _ “There you are, lil scamp!”  _ they grabbed the boy’s shoulders and turned him around, Connie’s heart stopped,  _ “You’re gonna give your ol’ dad a heart attack, Steven!”  _

Steven. With two dark brown eyes and a head of perfectly normal brown curly hair, with missing teeth and a bandage on his cheek. The image distorted and tore, a pink shadow passing over it. Connie looked over to Steven; his chest rising and falling quickly, silent tears streaming down his face. 

She unplugged the TV. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wuh oh, you thought i wasn't gonna take advantage of my favorite steven power??? fools. 
> 
> the gem's adoption of steven status:  
> lapis: complete  
> peridot: complete  
> bismuth: pending


	7. Smoke Where Fire

7

Smoke Where Fire

Lapis wasn’t going easy on her. That was a good thing.

She didn’t have time to obsessively think over that _dream_ or _memory_ or whatever had been on TV the night prior with Lapis consistently dive-bombing her with her water wings. All she had time to do was duck and dodge, slashing her sword against the automated combatants Bismuth and Peridot had created. The pastel blade cut through the metal like butter but the wounds healed up almost faster than she could make them. She dodged another attack from Lapis, her attempting to use the water from the ocean to try and sweep her away. Connie wiped sweat from her brow, driving her sword upward into another combatant with a grunt. 

“Good hustle, Connie!” Bismuth shouted from the sidelines with a thumbs up, “Keep it up!”

She managed a weary smile before launching into another attack. Bismuth had dragged her outside before the sun had fully come up, unfortunately breaking her streak of watching the sunrise with Steven. He and Peridot had watched from the deck for a while, Steven whooping and cheering her on, before Peridot had announced that they were going to the Kindergarten to gather parts. Lapis had snarked, “Try not to hurt yourselves.”

To which Peridot had responded by sticking her tongue out and Steven had responded with a cheery, “Okay!”

Connie couldn’t say she had the utmost confidence in the odd pairing. Peridot was infamously clumsy and Steven had probably never been in a Kindergarten without one of the Diamonds, safely away from the jagged ground and abandoned injectors. She tried to assuage her fears―one half of the pairing had healing spit ( _which sometimes didn’t work_ , her mind chipped in) and the other half was the sturdiest Gem Connie had ever encountered ( _but there has to be a limit to how much she can take without dissipating,_ her mind said). 

Lapis dived again, Connie ducked just in time to avoid her. She caught the Gem by her ankle and slammed her into the sand, Lapis hissed in pain. Connie squeaked out a small, “Sorry!” 

“It’s cool, just” she groaned, “ _owwwww.”_

Another three auto-combatants were felled by her sword, “Do you need help?”

“Yeah, actually,” Lapis sat up, “let me just―gotcha!” Connie was suddenly tripped by a jet of water that leapt out of the ocean, her back hitting the sand roughly. Lapis smirked, “Don’t let me distract you, Connie, that’s like rule number one.” 

She rolled her eyes, pushing her sopping wet hair from her eyes, “ _Sorry_ for being nice! You’re not even an enemy!”

“Well, we’ve all seen how you treat _enemies_ so…” 

A pang of shame resonated in Connie’s chest, Lapis’ eyes softened. She turned over to Bismuth, “Hey, turn the fighting guys off for a sec!” she hollered, Bismuth raised an eyebrow but the auto-combatants slowed to a stop. She inched closer to Connie, nudging her with her shoulder, “You look like you have something on your mind. What’re you thinking about?” 

“Steven, I guess.” she said, resting her chin on her palms. 

“Figured.” 

“I know you guys are still mad at me for sneaking around like that but…something happened to him and I don’t know what.” she stuck her sword into the sand, “I don’t even think _he_ knows.” 

The Gem narrowed her eyes, “What do you _think_ happened to him? I know you, you got to have some sort of theory by now.”

She was right, a series of half-formed theories had been running through her head all day, “I think the Diamonds did something to him. Something bad.” she said, “He didn’t always look like he does now―the pink hair and the pink eye―he used to look a lot more...human.”

“How do you know?”

“One of his powers―he can put his memories or his thoughts or whatever onto TVs and phones. Some sort of influence over technology.”

“Like the lights yesterday, yeah? They flickered before he freaked out.”

“Exactly.” she breathed, “But last night when he was asleep the TV was showing a memory, I think, from when he was a kid and he had brown eyes and hair. And he was on _Earth_.” 

“On Earth?”

“Yeah! When I first met him, he told me that Blue Diamond used to bring him things from Earth _when he first arrived_.” she emphasized the last few words of her sentence, Lapis caught on quickly, 

“He did say he was _made_ on Earth, so how did he end up on Homeworld? And how did he get all Diamond-y?” 

“That’s the question.” she laid back on the sand, “It’s just...I know, _I know_ I should be furious with him. He’s Pink Diamond and he’s done so much to my home but I don’t have the heart to just _hate him._ I just wish he’d _talk to me_ for once about what’s bugging him. What if he had a whole life here? What if his dad is still looking for him? Who was he?” 

Lapis was quiet for a second then looked at Connie, eyes full of concern, “Are you okay?” she asked. 

Connie blinked, “What?”

“Are you doing alright? You’re just...really concerned about him and, I dunno, maybe you’re using him so you don’t have to think about stuff that’s bothering you?” 

She squared her shoulders, “ _Nothing’s_ bothering me.” 

Lapis stared, unimpressed, “Nothing? Not the Cluster that could destroy your planet? Or the hostile colonization of your home? Or that we’re harboring a dictator-turned-seventeen-year-old? Or that we now have...eh, less than six days until we either argue for the life of Earth, thus giving said seventeen year old back to Homeworld, or doom Earth to destruction? _None_ of that is bothering you?” 

She flexed her trembling hands, blinking away hot tears, “N-No.” 

“Connie, look.” the Gem placed a hand on Connie’s back, “You’re tough but you’re not invincible. Pink has gone through some sort of shit―we can all see that, but you have too. You take that sword _everywhere_ , don’t think I haven’t noticed. Do you really think danger is always there?” 

Connie bit her lip thinking back to the day before. She was fine within the small town of Beach City but the party...she’d actively fought against the urge to bring the blade with her. To a _party!_ Maybe she should’ve, maybe then Kevin wouldn’t have messed with her. Her heart pounded, she thought about Stevonnie and the overwhelming feeling of _safety_ that came with being them. Lapis rubbed circles into her back, “Connie? Still there?”

“Yeah…” she exhaled, “I-I guess Steven is...Steven is something I think I can _fix_. Because everything is out of control now, everything could get so much worse, but I can help Steven. It’s like I have some sort of control again.”

“You can’t fix somebody, Connie. Trust me, I’ve tried.” she huffed obviously referencing a particularly terrible fusion experience she’d had before she’d been trapped in the mirror, “You can be there for him, though. I think putting him under a microscope will only stress you both out; all you need to do is be there when he needs to talk. That’s all you _can_ do really.” 

She considered her words then cracked a smile, “I didn’t think you could be so wise, Lazuli. I’m starting to think you’re getting to be more mature than Bismuth.”

“Say that again and I’ll watch CPH at full volume every day for the next millenia.” Lapis deadpanned. She laid back in the sand, “What did you and Pink get up to anyways?” 

Connie tucked her hair behind her ears, “Well...we read books together and watched old romantic comedies. I taught him about rain and we made each other strawberry toast. I took him down to the farmer’s market―I made him wear a disguise, don’t worry!” she added at Lapis’ incredulous look, “Then we went to the party and, um…” she blushed. How would she react if Connie told her about Stevonnie? Lapis had always been the more laid back of the Gems but _fusion_ between a Gem and a human…

“Spill whatever you’re about to say.” she ordered. Connie took a breath, 

“You cannot tell Bismuth or Peridot. Bismuth would kill him and Peridot would literally explode from excitement.” she mimed zipping her lips shut and throwing away the key. Connie shut her eyes before blurting out, _“We fused!”_

Lapis’ eyes widened more than Connie had ever seen, she mimed unzipping her lips, “ _What?!”_

“We fused! Me and Steven! We were dancing and it just _happened!_ He didn’t even think it was possible!” 

“It’s not!”

“It has to be because he’s half-human! He can fuse with humans!” she grinned at the memory, “Lapis, it was _incredible!”_

She pursed her lips, “You were comfortable, right?”

“Yes, very. He split us up the first time because he hadn’t meant to fuse but I told him that I thought it was good so we fused back, he didn’t make me uncomfortable at all.” 

“Good.” she nodded, “Glad you had fun.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

“A little. But we trust you, Connie. We know you wouldn’t have done all of this if you didn’t think Pink was worth it.”

She crossed her arms, “I wish you guys would call him Steven.” 

“Stupid name.” she snarked, “But sure.” 

Connie glanced over to Bismuth who was curiously peering over to them from the porch, “Lapis? Do you think Bismuth will ever...give him a chance?” 

“Give her some time, man. She’s different from all of us―she fought in the War on the frontlines. Me and Peri were just caught in the crossfire. It’ll take some time before she sees _Steeeveeen_ as anything other than some Diamond who screwed up her life and shattered her friends.” 

“He is different.”

“I get that. But Bismuth doesn’t.”

“Hm, yeah.” Connie sighed, staring out across the glittering waters, “Thanks for talking to me, Lapis.”

She reached up and ruffled her hair, “Anytime, dork.” 

“Hey! What’re you two yappin’ about?!” Bismuth called.

Lapis gave a dismissive wave, “Training’s over!” she yelled back, shielding her eyes from the sun, “I’m tired, Connie wins!” 

Bismuth threw her hands up, “That’s not how training―” a light flashed from inside the house, “eh, forget it. Tiny and the Diamond are back anyways.” 

Connie hopped up, Lapis lethargically stood, “You think Peridot’s talked his ear off yet?”

She considered it, “Well, Steven’s pretty open with straight-forward basic questions so she’s probably having a field day.” 

“Tch, poor kid.” Lapis joked as the two climbed the stairs up to the door. They peered inside the house, there was now a pile of scrap sitting in the center of the floor with Peridot and Steven happily sorting through it. Both of them wearing sunflower crowns and chatting with each other with smiles. Connie grinned, pushing the door open. Steven looked up and waved, 

“Hi, Connie!!” he greeted, picking up a large piece of glassy green tech and setting it aside, “Peridot was just telling me about this really cool show from this place called Cana-Can-”

“Canada.” Peridot finished, untangling wires, “Is like” she pointed in a general direction, “up there.” 

Connie pinched the skin between her eyebrows, “Ugh, _Camp Pining Hearts?_ ” 

“Yes!” both answered, Connie and Bismuth groaned but Lapis brightened. She sat beside him, 

“What do you think of it?”

Steven pursed his lips then answered, “Percy and Pierre seem like a much more superior pairing, it’s _confusing_ that they’re going for Percy and _Paulette._ It doesn’t make sense.” 

Lapis and Peridot shared open-mouth grins, Lapis clapped him on the back, “We’re gonna get along great, Steven.” 

Steven blushed, “Y-You used my name!” 

“Yeah, man.” she peered into the pile while Steven gained stars in his eyes, “What’s all this anyways?”

“Homeworld tech! All of it is way older than the stuff back home but I think we can make a decent communicator with it!” Steven explained, picking up a fractured translucent screen and holding it up to his eye, “Pearl showed me how a bunch of stuff worked in my chambers during all the times I was on punishment so I think I can guess what does what.” 

Peridot broke a glittering tube apart and began to pull at the circuitry, “Luckily, we have somebody well versed with Homeworld so we can hopefully expedite this process. Also, since Pink... _Steven_ is a Diamond he can bypass all the firewalls we may encounter.” 

He smiled broadly, Connie’s eyebrows shot up, “This just might work!” 

“Alright, alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?” Bismuth said, looking at the four of them. She grabbed the sunflower crown off Peridot’s pale yellow hair, “Where did you two find this?” 

“Hey, careful! That’s skilled engineering!” Peridot snatched it back, “Steven crafted them from flowers we found outside the Kindergarten.” 

“I learned from a book Blue’s Pearl gave me when I was young, you tie the flowers together and make these pretty crowns!” 

Bismuth frowned, “We don’t have time to be doing arts and crafts. Diamonds will be on our doorstep in no time, we’ve gotta get crackin’ on this.” 

Connie moved to sit beside Steven, “I think they made it _while_ they were getting stuff. No time was wasted right?”

“Right!” Steven and Peridot chorused. Steven took off his own crown and delicately placed it on Connie’s head, he studied her for a second then beamed with pride. Peridot nodded, 

“Yeah, you were right, Steven.” 

Connie adjusted the crown, “Right about what?” 

“Well, he kept going on and on about how nice you’d look in one of these crowns in the Kindergarten. He was right.”

Steven shot finger guns, Connie blushed furiously, “A-Anyways...how’d you guys get all this stuff in here anyways? It looks like a lot.”

“I carried a lot of it!” Steven answered eagerly, he held up his grease-stained hands to prove it, “It was fun! They never let me do _anything_ on Homeworld, I’d never hear the end of it from Yellow and Blue if they saw me doing work.” he gently broke apart a clasped object, “Apparently, my mother used to try and help the Quartz during their patrol missions and Blue was furious every time.” 

Connie smiled, it was nice to hear Steven openly share something about his past, “You guys have a lot in common, heh.” 

His face fell, his hands paused, “No, we don’t.” he bit his lip, “...I’m just glad we can hopefully make some good from the Prime Kindergarten. It’s harmed this planet enough.”

Lapis sat beside Peridot, inspecting a fractured piece of glass, “Are you sure all this junk is salvageable?”

“Nope!” Peridot said, “That’s why we’re sorting it―circuit boards go over there, data screens go over there, galactic amplifiers go over there, and―”

“―and pretty stuff goes over here!” Steven finished, pointing to his own small pile of glittering salvage. Lapis gave a snorting laugh, 

“Alright, dorks, let’s get started.” 

The five of them worked through the massive pile of junk well into the afternoon. All of them (sans Bismuth) chatting and joking around with each other, Steven intently listening to their stories of past hijinks and Peridot making a big show of emphasizing her part in victories. They were only halfway done by the time Lapis threw her hands up and announced, “Okay. Break time.”

“Break time?” Steven questioned, Connie helped him stand, “What do you mean?”

“We’re all a little tired so we’re going to relax before we get back to sorting stuff!” 

“Relax?” he gingerly set down a piece of circuitry, “Is that...okay?” 

Peridot and Lapis flopped back onto the sofa, “More than okay, my hands were cramping up.” she grabbed the remote, “Whaddya say, Peri? Season three or season two.” 

“Season one, episode one.” Peridot answered excitedly, “We have to show Steven the _disrespect_ Pierre is shown.” 

His cheeks burned red, “Y-You guys really don’t have to go back for me.”

“No, Steven!! The disrespect must be seen!” 

He cracked a smile, racing over and sitting at the foot of the couch on the floor. Bismuth grumbled, “I’m gonna go check on the drill.” she stiffly walked to the Warp, “I’ll be back.” 

They all squinted away from the blue light, a beat of silence followed. Lapis muttered, “She’s just grumpy, don’t worry about it.”

“...Is it me?” Steven asked, looking up to them with his big eyes. 

Connie bit the inside of her cheek, “No, it’s...the Cluster. She’s worried about it. We’re _all_ worried about it.” 

“What’s the Cluster? I’ve heard Yellow and Blue mention a Cluster when they’ve talked about Earth but they never told me what it was…” 

Peridot leapt into an explanation, “The Cluster is a mega-fusion implanted into this planet’s core made from _billions_ of gem shards, once it forms it will _tear through_ the planet. Most likely killing us all.” 

Steven paled, eyes wide, “ _Billions_ of shards? B-But why would somebody _do that?!_ It’s insane!” 

“Well, it was placed there by Yellow Diamond after the ‘shattering’ of Pink Diamond or, er, _you,_ as revenge.”

“But I’m here!” he yelled, hands grabbing at his shirt as if to prove his existence, “Why would…” he stared down at the floor, whispering, “they must be in so much pain…” 

Connie laid her hands on his rigid shoulders, she felt them tense even further under her touch, “Steven, it’s gonna be okay. We have a plan to fix it, there’s a whole group of Gems down at the barn who work on the drill every day.”

“Do...do they know I’m here?” she, Peridot, and Lapis exchanged a look before Lapis silently shook her head, “Good.” 

Peridot made an awkward expression before she pressed play on the episode, the cheesy mid-2000s opening music flooding in. 

Steven didn’t look up, busy staring at his feet with his mouth pressed tight. As the episode progressed, he didn’t move, only offering curt laughs whenever Peridot and Lapis laughed. Connie pursed her lips, slipping down onto the ground and discreetly taking his hand into her own, squeezing it. He laid his head on her shoulder, she felt his cheek press up into a small smile. 

She wasn’t trying to fix him. She was just listening. 

◈

That night, Steven had the dream again.

◈

The next day began much the same. Bismuth taking her and Lapis out for training while Steven and Peridot went to grab more supplies, the two returning with even more flower crowns for all five of them. Connie had put hers on appreciatively, Lapis had worn hers only after making fun of Peridot for being covered head-to-toe in dirt, Bismuth had set hers on the table. 

They had gotten back to work sorting through the workable stuff when one of Peridot’s gadgets went off with a chime, Connie knew what the sound meant―a corrupted Gem was somewhere on Earth and they needed to destabilize its form and bubble it. Steven looked up curiously as they all jumped into action, Connie grabbing her sword while the Gems all stepped onto the Warp. 

“Corrupted Gem.” Connie said to his confused expression, “We have to go contain it before it hurts itself or anybody else.” 

“Oh, stars, are you gonna be okay?”

“Don’t worry, we’ve done this a thousand times.” 

Lapis looked to Bismuth, “Is it cool if we leave him here while we’re out?”

Connie saw the way Steven’s eyes widened at the thought of being left alone, she was ready to argue for him to come with but thankfully Bismuth made a gesture for him to join them, “I don’t like the idea of him being without supervision. Doubt he’s ever been in a fight but he can come.” 

Steven stood, dusting off his pale blue shorts, “Pearl taught me some combat techniques but, no, I’ve never been in a fight.” 

“No time like the present.” 

The Warp dropped them off in a dense forest, smatterings of sunlight dotting the ground and the distant sounds of water. Steven marveled, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Warping, Connie,”

“I’m not!” she corroborated, hopping off with him in tow, “It’s so cool to be able to see all of Earth like this.”

“This is such a beautiful plan― _ow.”_ he pressed a hand against his temple and squeezed his eyes shut, he waved off her concerned expression, “Headache, it’s nothing.” 

“You sure?” the two of them walked closely behind the Gems, their steps crunching against the mulch, “You keep getting headaches,” she laid a hand on his forehead, “you don’t feel hot…”

“Am I supposed to?”

“Ha, no. I was just checking your temperature to see if you might be sick, my dad used to do this when I was little―my mom always used the thermometer. Have you ever been sick before?” he shook his head, “Figured. Healing powers and all that.”

“Hm.” 

“You two gotta keep it down,” Bismuth advised in hushed tones, “the corruption could be anywhere and we don’t want it getting the jump on us.”

Connie gave a thumbs up, Steven followed suit but she could tell he really didn’t understand what was going on. 

They continued through the forest in silence, listening out for the growls of a nearby corruption. Steven seemed much more at ease, staring at the local fauna and excitedly bouncing around from tree to tree; it wouldn’t surprise her if there were no trees on Homeworld―everything on the planet was so clean-cut and orderly, she doubted they’d allow something so organic and uncontrollable as nature. This world was alien to Steven even if it was all so mundane to her. 

“I have a question.” he said after some time, Connie gave him a permissible look, “Bismuth. Yesterday, she mentioned something about a...double shattering? Involving my mother and Rose Quartz?”

“Yeah?”

“What did she...mean by that? I never heard of a _double shattering.”_

Bismuth barked out a laugh, “Of course you’ve never heard of it. Bet those rocks never wanted you thinking you were vulnerable.”

He frowned slightly, “Can you tell me?”

“...” she huffed, “sure.” Lapis and Peridot shared a look, “Well. Story goes that Rose and Pink had a meeting, Rose had somehow gained an audience with her to try and end the war but Pink had a different idea and she pulled out a weapon. But Rose...Rose was never one to be caught off guard, was she? She had a fine piece of weaponry made by yours truly which could shatter a Gem in a split second so...things happened and next thing you know, Pearl―our Pearl, not your mother’s―finds two piles of shards.” she let out a long breath, “Pink was gone...but so was Rose. Or we _thought_ Pink was gone, years later we’re getting news that Pink Diamond is alive and well and the fight’s not over. You can’t imagine how we all felt, Diamond. Our hope just...pulled from under us.” 

Steven’s eyes glistened, he walked faster so he was beside Bismuth, “Were you there?”

“I thought you said you had her memories.”

“Some. Bits and pieces but I-I’ve never been able to remember the shattering.” 

“Good for you.” she glanced at him, “No. I wasn’t there.” 

“At least you didn’t see it, right?” 

Bismuth glared, “Have you ever seen a Gem shattered, kid?”

“Yes.” Steven answered quietly, something in Bismuth’s face softened, “It’s awful.”

“It is.” 

He stalled so Connie could catch up, that faraway look was back in his eyes, the impression that if she looked away, he’d blow away into nothing. She squeezed his hand, “You okay?”

It took longer for him to respond but he managed a slow nod, not saying anything further. She was going to press harder but a deep rumbling resonating throughout the forest cut her plans short. 

She let go of his hand, readying her sword towards the sound. Lapis extended her wings, jumping up into the air then flying back down, “Something’s bending the trees up there, let’s get ‘em.” 

They quickened their pace, another roar rocked the ground. 

“It’s close!” Steven exclaimed, Peridot pulled out a blinking device with three prongs. 

“That’s what we need! I can dissipate its form with this by attaching the device to it!” 

Connie sped forward, she knew the routine. They’d corner the corruption then dissipate it by any means necessary. She squinted, her recently perfect eyesight allowed her to see the lumbering shadow approaching them, “Get ready!” she shouted. Bismuth shapeshifted her hand into a pickaxe, Peridot readied her device, Lapis pulled water from a nearby pond and held it aloft. 

The corruption came into view, hulking with a mottled blue coat and large tusks protruding from its mouth. All four of its eyes were wide with fear, the ground trembled when it moved. Steven looked horrified. 

“Now!”

They all rushed forward, Steven staying behind while they ambushed the corruption. It reared back when they got close, clawing at a flying Lapis and swinging its tail at Connie while she tried to get a clean shot for her to strike. It was important that none of them damaged the gem itself, if they ever figured out a method of healing them, they wanted the gems to be fully intact. Bismuth attempted to crawl onto its head but was bucked off and into Peridot, sending both flying. Lapis sent down water chains but was intercepted by the corruption flinging its tail into her. Connie held her breath then began climbing onto its body, hoping and pleading that she’d have better luck than her friends.

She didn’t. 

The corruption roared and began throwing itself around trying to get Connie off. Her heart leapt into her throat, she had to strike _now_. She raised her sword into the air but with her hands in the air, it made throwing her off almost too easy. 

Stars flashed in her vision as her back collided harshly with the tree, the wind thoroughly knocked out of her lungs. 

“CONNIE!” Steven screamed, running toward her with panic stretched tight on his face. She tried to talk but only coughs came through, “Ar-Are you hurt?! Ah!!” he stuck his finger in his mouth and wiped it against her palm, “Did that work?! Did that do _anything?!_ Connie!! C’mon!” 

Some of the fog lifted from her mind, “Steven, I…”

The corrupted clawed at the ground, clearly about to charge. All eyes pointed to Connie. She looked for her sword but found it flung too far away. She racked her mind for a solution, something that’d get them both out of the position they were in. Before anything had formed, the corruption was already charging, the ground thrumming with each footfall. She was frozen, Steven wasn’t looking, too intent on seeing if she was fine, “Steven!” she gasped out. 

He turned, his eyes widened in fear. He scooped her up, staring down the monster, _“Stay away from my Connie!”_

Their world went pink, the corruption was stopped in its tracks by a crystalline bubble that suddenly surrounded them. 

_“New power,”_ they both whispered, breathless. Laughing nervously as the corruption began to circle them, sniffing the bubble. 

“D-Do you know how long it’ll last?” 

“Nope.” he said, eyes following the corruption intently, “What _is_ that?” 

“A corrupted Gem.” 

He looked put off by the name, “That is _not_ a Gem.” 

“It used to be.” she pointed to the octagonal spotted Gem embedded on its chest, “It’s sick, there was this thing that happened during the war. All the Crystal Gems were wiped out by the Corruption Blast sent by the…”

“The Diamonds.” he finished darkly, “Of course.” he got closer to the edge of the bubble, studying the corruption’s face with an unreadable expression on his face.

Connie glared at her abandoned sword, “I would destabilize it but my sword got knocked away from it.”

He worried his lip, “...I can do it. I can do it but please don’t get mad at me, please.” 

_Mad about what?_ “I won’t.” 

“Okay.” he stuck his hand into his short pockets, exhaling before pulling out the Destabilizer he’d used on himself in the palace. He spared her a pleading look, lips pulling tight when they saw her hollow expression. The bubble fell, both of them braced for the corruption to resume its attack but instead, it seemed to heel at Steven’s feet. 

Connie watched, swallowing, “I think it recognizes you as a Diamond. It won’t attack you.” 

Tears brimmed in Steven’s eyes, “ _Why?”_ the Destabilizer trembled in his grip, he knelt so they were near the same level, “You don’t have to do this, yo-you should be _so_ furious with me.” 

Connie turned at the sound of footprints, the Gems rushed in but slowed when they spotted the docile monster. Shushing them, she ushered them forward. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what else I can say but...I’m sorry. Are you in pain?” he stroked its coat, “Are you _scared?_ I’ve been like that so...hurt and so scared and afraid all th-the time.” tears dripped down his face, hitting the ground and making vibrant flowers bloom in their wake, “Can you even understand me? Am I just...talking to myself?” 

Peridot nudged Connie, “What’s he doing? Why isn’t it attacking him?” 

“It knows he’s a Diamond.”

Steven futility wiped away some of the tears, “I don’t know why these aren’t working, I thought...maybe if I cried but no. Of course not. That’d be too easy.” he laughed mirthlessly, the corruption chittered. Steven pulled his hand away, “Did I hurt you?! I keep doing that, I keep―” he readied the Destabilizer, big globs of tears racing down his cheeks, “I keep hurting people. I’m sorry.”

He plunged the Destabilizer into the corruption, a cloud of glittering blue air exploding from its touch. When the dust cleared, Steven gingerly held the gem in his hands, staring up to them for some sort of guidance, “Do we...are we supposed to shatter it now?”

Connie saw the flash of disgust over the Gems’ faces, Lapis shook her head sharply, “No. We’ll heal them all someday, once we figure out how.”

“There’s more?”

“Hundreds.” 

He held the gem closer. 

“For now. We bubble them and send them off to the Temple so they can at least be safe.”

“Okay.” he sniffed, “Can I bubble it? Is that okay?”

Bismuth gave a solemn nod, Steven placed the gem in his palm then quickly created a bubble much like the one he’d saved her with to house it. Peridot reached over and tapped the top, sending it off. He squeezed his eyes shut once the gem left his sight. Connie rubbed circles on his back, “I’ll meet you guys back at the Warp.” he said, “I need to be here for a little bit longer.” 

Despite Connie’s expectations, Bismuth nodded again and began walking towards the Warp. Lapis and Peridot got the hint, following her.

“Steven.” she said once they were alone. 

“Connie.”

“Have you been using _that_ again?” she eyed the Destabilizer. 

“I never stopped.”

“I don’t want you to have it anymore.”

“Okay.”

Willingly, he held up the Destabilizer and let her grab it. She gave him a quick hug before going off to join the others. 

They weren’t too far ahead, they weren’t talking. Connie turned the Destabilizer over in her hands, feeling so much hate for the object. In a quick motion, she snapped it in half, its glittering guts exposed. 

“Why’d you do that!” Peridot exclaimed, “It could’ve been useful in dealing with other corruptions.”

“Steven can’t be near these.”

“Why?” Lapis asked, suspicious. 

“He uses them on himself.”

“But...he can’t dissipate.”

“He knows that.” she pocketed the pieces, “It just hurts him” 

“What?” Bismuth’s brow furrowed, “Why on Earth would he want to hurt himself?”

Connie stomped forward, wishing with all her heart that she’d have the chance to scream the Diamonds into oblivion when they contacted them, “He left Homeworld for a reason.” 

They walked in silence the rest of the way. 

◈

She wasn’t surprised when the TV fizzled to life late that night but she still watched the dream like it was the first time she’d ever seen it. It was wrong, she knew that. She’d be _mortified_ if she learned somebody had somehow watched _her_ dream, but she simply couldn’t tear herself away from the screen. The dream hadn’t progressed past what she’d seen on the first night, a shadow overtook the screen and then it was just static. 

Still, the man muttered, _“Oh, jeez, I’ll grab him.”_

Still, baby Steven dug a stuffed animal from the sand, _“Gotcha!”_

The hands came in from the corner and the dream...changed. 

Connie sat up straight as the image tore and distorted, losing all its color. She glanced over to Steven, sleeping motionless on the floor. 

The hands turned a blinding white, a horrible monotone noise droned on the speakers. A voice spoke in haunting tones, _“I know you’re in there, Pink.”_

White Diamond. It was White’s voice. 

_“P-Please. I’m not...I can’t...”_ Steven’s voice, high-pitched but clearly matured more, _“White. Please. It hurts.”_

Steven stirred in his sleep, a soft gasp escaping him. 

_“Then stop pretending.”_

Her hands reached down, nails getting closer and― 

Connie yelped as the lights swelled and popped overhead, the TV playing harsh static that only seemed to get louder as she tried to turn it off. Steven sat up, a glazed over look in his eye. 

“Steven!” she shouted, “You have to stop, your powers are going haywire!” 

Robotically, he got up, unbothered by the noise and flickering lights. His footfalls were light, he didn’t blink. 

“Are you sleepwalking?” she got in his path but was easily pushed aside, “Okay, that’s a yes.” 

He suddenly stopped, crouching at the small closet that was blocked by a section of the couch. He pulled at the door but found no success; his expression didn’t change, effortlessly, he grabbed the couch and threw it aside, it falling upside down just an inch behind her. Connie stared wide-eyed at the tossed aside piece of furniture, unsure of what else Steven would do in this state. He was looking for something, but what?

He pulled the closet door open, revealing the wall of junk hidden behind it. His hands pulled at the stuff, tossing things aside that weren’t what he was searching for. Connie watched curiously, she’d never seen the closet opened in all her years living there. 

Finally, his hands grabbed something. 

_“Gotcha.”_ he deadpanned, pulling out an old teddy bear dressed like an emcee. He stood again and walked back to his spot on the floor, holding it to his chest, completely unaware of the confusion that suddenly wrapped around her. 

The bear. _That_ was the bear from his dream but...but what was it doing here?

He laid his head on the pillow and everything went calm. His soft snoring filling the room. Connie couldn’t calm down yet, she looked over the piles of discarded stuff he’d gone through and found a piece of folded paper decorated with a shiny star sticky that crinkled when she touched it. 

She unfolded it, looking over the crude child’s drawing of it. A family with five people, three women, a man, and a small boy all holding hands with lots of squiggles surrounding them. There was a small hole at the top, as if it had been pinned up somewhere at some point. She looked over it, holding it to the moonlight. 

Her heart hammered against her chest―in the corner, clear as day, was shakily written in pink crayon: _Steven, age 2_. 

“Steven…” she whispered, staring at the slumbering boy cradling his bear, “this is _your_ house.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anybody: im not going to hurt you  
> steven, punching the air, refusing to talk about his feelings: why not!!!!! why!!! not!!!! please for the love of god somebody get my ass!!!!


	8. Message Received

8

Message Received 

It felt like the paper was burning under her fingertips. 

Solid proof that she’d been living in  _ Steven’s  _ house for the past two years, that she’d been sleeping in  _ his  _ bed, using  _ his  _ TV, making memories without him or any of his family while Steven had been locked away on Homeworld. The evidence just a closet door away. 

She took ragged breaths, carefully folding the drawing and placing it on the coffee table. Shakily, she sat on the couch, suddenly feeling like an intruder in her own home. 

Had Steven  _ known?  _ Had he just decided to keep quiet upon returning to his home or would this be as much as a surprise to him as it was to her. Did the Gems know? Bismuth had always told her that she’d arrived at the Temple to find it deserted but was that the truth? Bismuth didn’t lie to her often but she did favor lies of omission. She glanced over to Steven, peacefully sleeping with the bear held tight in his hands, much smaller than it had seemed from the perspective of younger Steven. 

Should she wake him up? If she did what would she even say― _ “Good morning, we’ve been in your childhood home this whole time, would you like some breakfast?” _ No, that’d be ridiculous. All her expertise in planning was useless, she’d never been in a situation like the one she was in that moment. The Gems were nowhere to be seen, likely spending some time working at the barn since their two charges needed to sleep. Lapis would’ve already shaken Steven awake by this point and made him explain all he knew about his childhood, she was good at being scarily forward. She was absolutely frozen with no clue of how to proceed. 

A mewling at the door caught her attention, Connie looked to see... _ Lion?  _ The lion from the desert was pawing at the door and pressing his nose against the glass,  _ clearly  _ trying to enter. Connie rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t dreaming but once she opened them again Lion was still there and staring at her. She got up, taking slow steps to make sure she didn’t scare him; she still expected him to suddenly evaporate once she opened the door but instead he pressed his head against her palm in a...greeting? She wasn’t sure. Believe it or not, she hadn’t interacted with many lions. 

“What are you doing here, buddy?” she asked softly, scratching his ears, “Why now?”

It seemed too convenient, her discovering that she’d been living in Steven’s house and the lion that Steven had  _ immediately  _ fallen in love with appearing at the same time? She thought back to when they’d been in the desert, Steven had said it himself:  _ They matched.  _

“Did you...know Steven before he went to Homeworld? Were you his pet?” predictably, Lion didn’t answer, “Are you...here for him?” 

Hesitantly, she stepped aside and Lion padded in, sniffing the air. Connie pointed to Steven’s sleeping form and he lumbered over, she held her breath waiting to see if the lion’s friendliness would last. The animal sniffed Steven then licked his face, forcing some of his hair up in a cowlick, then he simply laid down and curled around the boy. 

_ “What?!”  _ Connie whispered, feeling more and more like she was in the midst of an incredibly vivid dream as the night went on, “What the  _ hell  _ is going on?”

She had to wake him up, she needed some type of answer. 

His eyes cracked open after a few shakes, “C’nnie? Wha...what’s goin’ on?” 

“This is your house.” she spilled out, having to say it to  _ somebody  _ before she exploded, “Don’t freak out.” 

Steven squinted, “W...huh?”

“Y-You put your dream on the TV an-and I watched it―and I’m sorry that was a  _ total  _ breach of privacy―but it wasn’t the first time. It was all a bunch of voices and I only saw  _ your  _ face but you were a  _ kid  _ and you had  _ brown hair!” _

That seemed to catch his attention, “Brown hair? I-I haven’t had that since I was twelve.” 

“And two brown eyes.”

_ “Really?”  _ he raked a hand through his curls, “Brown hair…” he wistfully said, “sorry. What else did you say?”

She groaned, “This is  _ your house,  _ Steven! You used to live here before you went to Homeworld!” 

He looked around wide-eyed then shook his head, “No. No, that’s impossible. The Diamonds told me my home was destroyed.”

“They  _ also _ told you that you didn’t have powers...we know they’ve lied to you, Steven.” she gestured to the bear held tight in his grip, she reached for it but he pulled back protectively, “Look. You found that bear in  _ that  _ closet just a minute ago. You were sleepwalking, it was like you knew where it was the whole time.” he stared at its matted fur, gently correcting it, “And how you knew that the door gets stuck when it's hot, I think deep down you kn―”

“I  _ didn’t  _ know.” he muttered, “I-I promise I’m not lying, this doesn’t make sense. This is the Crystal Gems’ base― _ why  _ would  _ I  _ be here?”

Connie tried to think of an explanation but failed, “I don’t know.” she settled on, she sat next to him, “Also, Lion’s here.”

He startled, “Lion?!” some happiness returned to his face once he looked up, “Lion!!” 

“He showed up right after you found the bear. Do you recognize him from before you went to Homeworld? Do you remember any of this?” 

Steven screwed his eyes shut, saying sharply “I don’t remember  _ anything  _ from before I went to Homeworld. All I know is Homeworld, you think if I knew my home was here I would’ve tried to use that Ruby ship to go to  _ Earth _ instead of some  _ colony  _ outpost?! I know I’m stupid but I’m not that stupid, Connie.” his voice softened, “Sorry. This isn’t your fault...I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, this is a lot to take in,” she playfully punched his arm, “and you’re not stupid.”

He sighed and took a moment before speaking again, “The only thing I have from my time on Earth is the star shirt. Pearl said that it was something from my father. That’s all I have.” 

His father… “I did hear a male voice in the dream and I’m pretty sure it was your dad…”

His eyes snapped up, wide and staring, “ _ My  _ dad?! Did you see his face?!” 

“No, I’m sorry.” 

Steven’s shoulders drooped, “Okay.” he dragged his hands down his face, “Okay.”

“He sounded like he really loved you—he’s probably still out there, looking for you.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better, Connie.” he swatted at something, Lion nuzzled his side, “You said I was sleepwalking?”

“Yeah, you were walking weird and you weren’t  _ blinking _ . I think your powers were affecting the lights because they were on the fritz but you didn’t care―it was like you were a robot.” 

Steven paled, grimacing. He clutched the fabric of his shirt, “Did he...did I say anything?”

Connie felt the nervousness roll off him in waves,  _ something  _ about sleepwalking freaked him out, “No, you just found the teddy bear and went back to sleep. Did you...think you would say something?”

“No!” he looked terrified by the notion, “I didn’t say anything, right? Then it’s fine,  _ everything  _ is fine.” 

“Steven. It doesn’t sound fine.” she insisted, he looked away from her, “You can talk to me.” 

He muttered something too quiet for her to hear then said through gritted teeth, “I’m fine. Really.”

Connie gently took his hand into her own, lacing their fingers together, “I don’t think you are.”

Steven tilted his head to look at her, a dullness in his eyes that seemed to always be there. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. Reassurance and comfort, that’s what hand-holding had become; something that Connie had been rather indifferent towards before Steven. Now, it just felt right.

Would she still hold hands with people once Steven was...gone? Probably not. She’d always be thinking of him if she did—his warm hands, soft palms, and the way he liked the trace geometric shapes into her hand with his thumb. And Steven would probably not be seeing much affection once he went back to Homeworld. After betraying his home, she couldn’t imagine any of the Diamonds taking him in with open arms. They’d probably  _ punish  _ him. 

The thought made her skin prickle. 

Had he thought about that? That his homecoming would most likely be met with severe punishment? She swallowed, “Steven, I—“ her words died at the sight of tears racing down his trembling chin, “Steven?” 

“Wh-What happened to me?” he stammered, his voice cracking at every word.

“What do you—”

“I don’t remember this place, my  _ home.  _ I-I don’t remember what my dad looked like! I don’t know wh-why Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl would know Bismuth. I don’t remember  _ anything!”  _ he pulled his hand away, Connie held her breath, watching to see if he’d try to hurt himself again. “Eve-Everytime I try to think about it, my head gets fuzzy and I just get so  _ angry  _ that I want to  _ cry!  _ It  _ hurts  _ to think about. I-I...I’m just…why would they  _ lie  _ to me?!” he took a gasping breath and tried to continue but broke down into jagged sobs as Lion curled around his body tighter. 

Connie didn’t know how to comfort him. It was trauma, plain and simple. The second half of his dream had surely been just a snippet of what he’d experienced. It wasn’t her place to try and lay it all out to fix it—she wasn’t built for that. She remembered what Lapis had told her: All she could do was be there for him.

She wrapped her arms around his body as he sobbed, uncaring about tears getting on her nightgown. She laid her head against his shoulder, exhaling, “It’s gonna be okay. I’m not leaving you.” 

He shook his head as if trying to convince his body that what she was saying was true. Lion let out a soft  _ snuff _ , licking Steven’s face. 

After a few minutes, Steven managed to calm down enough to clean his face of the tears. He didn’t speak but leaned back on Lion’s back with his eyes shut tight. 

“I can’t believe I used to live here,” he said quietly.

“Neither can I.” 

“Oh, Stars, I really am half-human, huh?” she raised an eyebrow, he continued at her confused expression, “I mean, I’ve been raised as a Diamond all my life and Pearl’s never told me anything about my human half so to have” he gestured around himself, “proof, it’s...strange. I used to live here, I used to be...human.” 

Connie studied his face—soft and round, blushed and slightly freckled, “You’re still human.” 

He laughed mirthlessly, “Sure.” 

“Steven, I’m serious. I know you being half-human is probably a touchy subject but I think it’s one of the coolest things about you.”

“...Really?” 

“Totally! It’s amazing! You are the only person in the universe like  _ you _ , organic  _ and  _ tech.” she grabbed his arm tracing where his hardlight veins had been, “Homeworld’s stupid to keep you locked up and hidden away…you’re incredible.” 

He was quiet for a moment then lightly laced their hands back together, “You’re incredible.”

Connie hoped that the low light hid her blush, she nudged him, “Flatterer.”

“I mean it! You’re just as good as Pearl with your sword and you’re smart and you  _ somehow  _ convinced Peridot and Lapis not to hate me!” 

“Bismuth does not hate you!” 

“But she doesn’t like me.” 

“Well, um…” she stuttered, Steven snickered, “she’ll warm up to you.” 

“Hope so.” he said, “So, how did my house end up being  _ your  _ house?” 

“Colonized it.” Connie joked, Steven rolled his eyes good-naturedly, “But really, um...Bismuth found it abandoned a few years back and it became the new base up until Mr. Universe offered up this old barn that I think his aunt and her partner used to use. I kinda got roped in when Lapis found me reading on the beach one day but I didn’t  _ live  _ here until my parents were, um…” she glanced away, “taken.”

He pursed his lips, “Taken?”

“They were taken to the Zoo during a raid two years ago.” Connie spit out, the words burning a hole in her throat. 

Steven paled, “No. Oh, my stars. Connie, I-I’m so sorry. Blue, she...she thought that bringing more humans in will make me happy. I thought she stopped!” 

“Well. She didn’t.” 

“What are their names?” 

“Priyanka and Doug.”

He chewed on his lip, “When we contact Yellow, I’ll order their release. I wish I could just let them all out but she’d never allow it. Hopefully, she won’t see the harm of letting just two humans go.” 

Connie felt excitement bloom in her chest, “Y-You’d do that?”

“It’s the least I could do. Maybe I could have a meeting with them before they go so I can talk about how amazing their daughter is...maybe I could even apologize.” 

She toyed with the thought of  _ finally  _ seeing her parents after so much time apart, there was hope in that thought, “My parents would love you.”

Steven smiled, “You think so?”

“Yeah,” she said, “maybe once everything’s settled you could warp back to Earth and we could have dinner, maybe? There’s a nice seafood place just outside of town,” 

He scoffed softly, “I don’t think the Diamonds will be letting me out of their  _ sight  _ for the next thousand years once I return.”

Right. They only had less than a week left. She kept forgetting that. 

Neither of them spoke for a while, sleepiness crawling back in after the excitement. Steven yawned, “I’ll miss you, you know that right? You and Beach City and strawberries on toast and” he mussed up Lion’s mane, “this absolute star. Even your Crystal Gems. I’ll miss it.”

Connie choked down her emotion, swallowing the impulse she had to scream at him to just  _ stay,  _ “I’ll miss you, too. B-But we still have time, right? It’s not goodbye yet.” 

“But it’s goodbye soon.”

“Yeah.” she bit her lip, “It is.” 

Their attention was caught by the creaking stairs, the heads of Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth all coming into view. Peridot animatedly explaining something with wild gestures to Lapis’ annoyance, “I’m telling you!” her nasally voice came, “I  _ saw  _ a pink Earth animal lurking around the premises!” 

She and Steven shared a look then glanced at the fluffy animal that had been serving as their back support for the better part of an hour. The Gems entered, seemingly unaware that they had an audience, Bismuth shrugged, “We checked the whole city, tiny. No pink animals in Beach City.” 

“Can Earth animals even  _ be  _ pink?” Lapis wondered, “Is that, like, allowed?” 

Peridot loudly lamented, “Listen to me!! I saw it and I  _ know  _ my perception is in tip-top shape, there’s nothing that could get past me!” 

Steven cracked a smile at the irony, Connie snorted, “Are you sure?” 

All three Gems focused on them, Peridot jumped up, “Pink animal! Told you!” 

“Whoa,” Lapis marveled, “pink animal.”

Steven scratched behind Lion’s ears, “His name’s Lion!” 

Bismuth looked shocked, “Where’d you two find this killer?”

“He isn’t a killer, he’s a wonderful pink human being that’s a lion.” 

Connie filled in some gaps, “He just walked up to Steven when we were...ahem...sneaking around. Lion just likes him, he showed up at the door just a bit ago. Which reminds me…” she stood, “Steven and I, we figured something out.”

Bismuth crossed her arms, “Lay it on us.”

“This house used to be Steven’s, when he lived on Earth.” she picked his bear up from the ground, “H-He found this in the closet that’s always covered, it’s a bear from when he was a kid. It’s been here the whole time.” 

Lapis puzzled, “But this...this was the Crystal Gems’ base, why would  _ Pink Diamond  _ be at a Crystal Gem base?” 

The Gems’ eyes went to Steven for an answer, he said softly, “I don’t know.” 

Bismuth pursed her lips, “And the lion―”

“His name is Lion!”

“―the lion? He just  _ showed up?”  _

Connie nodded, “Right after he found the bear.”

“Hm. They must be connected then, right? That’s no coincidence.”

“Steven said he doesn’t remember him.”

“Well, he also didn’t remember that this is his house so…” Peridot noted. 

Steven shrugged, “Little things are...familiar...I think. Like the glowy stars above the bed and the scuff in the floor by the bathroom.” he scrunched up his face as if he was trying to force more memories out, “Pearl would know, she’s been with me my whole life. She doesn’t like to talk about Earth, though.” 

Peridot scoffed, “Have you ever _ordered_ her to tell you about your past? She’s your Pearl, she has to do what you say.”

He wrinkled his nose, “I don’t like giving her orders. She’s my family.”

“Aren’t you programmed to give orders? What kind of Diamond are you?”

Lapis elbowed her hard, ignoring the small Gem’s over dramatic gasp, “Ignore her, Steven. There’s got to be some explanation to this that we’re just not seeing, maybe Pink Diamond took over their base at some point and, uh,  _ had  _ Steven before the Diamonds found her? Bismuth, you said this place was abandoned when you found it, right?”

“Mmhm.” she answered, “Completely emptied out, no sign of Garnet, that Amethyst or Pearl― _ our  _ Pearl, of course―there was just a note, just one sitting on the kitchen counter. It was in Garnet’s handwriting and it just said  _ ‘We’ll explain later’ _ ―whatever that means. It was like they had just...disappeared.” 

Connie could almost see the gears turning in Peridot’s head, “But if Pink Diamond had been here,  _ why  _ would she leave the note?” she began to pace as she always did when she wanted to look flashy and deep in thought, “Steven, did the Diamonds ever talk about...Steven?” 

The boy was looking off into the distance, his eyes glassy. He seemed to notice the silence and snapped back to attention, the words, “I think we’re talking about the same Gems.” tumbling from his mouth. 

Bismuth’s eyebrow quirked up, “What are you talking about, Diamond?”

“Back on Homeworld, I’m allowed to visit two Gems that Yellow has bubbled in her chambers―an Amethyst and a Garnet fusion. They know about Earth and they told me they’ve  _ been  _ to Earth...and  _ maybe  _ Pearl was with them, too…” 

“You think they’re the same as  _ our  _ Gems?” Bismuth questioned, almost looking disgusted by the prospect. 

“You said Garnet was the fusion of a Ruby and a Sapphire, yes? A Sapphire from Blue’s Court and a Ruby meant to guard her?” he stared, recounting the story off the back of his hand. His voice had a strange airy quality to it, “They fused in the middle of the court after the Ruby tried to save the Sapphire from a-a Pearl, they ran off to avoid Blue shattering them and eventually, they...she, Garnet, were found by m―” he shook his head violently, “Rose Quartz.” he blinked a few times, the glassy look in his eyes clearing, “Is that right?” 

Bismuth took a deep breath and solemnly nodded, “Your Pearl. Short hair, gem on her forehead?”

It was Steven’s turn to nod, “Yes.” 

“Same Gems.” she sat heavily on the stool, “Damn Homeworld must’ve taken ‘em as prisoners, blasted flakes of mica. Made Pearl into your servant, bubbled Garnet and the Amethyst...better than shattered, I suppose.” 

“But Pearl was my mother’s, she’s always told me that.” his voice was back to normal, Connie noticed. 

Bismuth grumbled, “Probably made to serve her before you took up her mantle.” she grimaced, “Oh, Pearl…”

“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know.” Steven supplied, “I treat her well, I’ve never harmed her if that helps any. She’s my family, like I said.”

The Gem stood, “It doesn’t.” she ran a hand through her hair, “Look, I’m gonna go take a walk to clear my head. You three,” she pointed at Lapis, Peridot and Connie, “look through that closet, see if there’s anything of use there.”

She exited and the two Gems left behind quietly went to work. Connie stood up, offering her hand to Steven, “C’mon, maybe there’s more stuff from your childhood in th―”

“Garnet never told me she met Rose Quartz.”

Connie faltered, “What?”

“I said that she met Rose Quartz, I said it so easily. She met Rose Quartz in a flower grove. And I-I  _ know  _ I’m right but how...how would I know that? How could I  _ possibly  _ know that?” 

“Maybe she told you once and you forgot? Or maybe you heard it somewhere else?”

He nodded in a stilted motion, “Yeah. Yeah, probably.” 

◈

They ended up finding more items clearly belonging to Steven buried deep in the closet―crayon drawings of him and four others or seagulls around the beach, more of the red star shirts that were rough with age, stuffed animals and plastic figurines with  _ S  _ written on the feet in permanent marker. 

Steven became possessive with each new item they uncovered, taking them from the hands of whoever had found them and gingerly placing them beside a sleeping Lion. He stared at each one with a pleading intensity, begging for the memento to bring back some sort of memory. By the time they’d cleared out the whole closet, he had a small pile of affects that he guarded carefully and the sun was just above the horizon.

“Well. That’s everything.” Lapis stated, flopping back, “Anybody got any new revelations?” 

“The people in these  _ primitive  _ drawings (“Aw.”) are most likely Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Steven’s father, currently unknown.”

Connie hissed, “You don’t have to say it like that, Peridot.”

“What!? We don’t know him!” 

Steven sighed, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” 

“Anything coming back?” Connie asked sympathetically, he shook his head, “It’ll come to you, promise. My mom used to work with patients with memory loss and she said the best thing you can have is patience.” 

“I  _ am  _ being patient! I think waiting for seventeen  _ years  _ is incredibly patient!” he snapped then groaned, “Sorry for yelling. It’s not your fault. I’m tired, probably.” 

“N-No...it’s okay. Do you want to take a breather or something? We could go down to the Big Donut and―”

“Actually. I-I think I need to be alone for a little bit. Is there anywhere quiet I can go?” 

Peridot pointed nonchalantly, “Bathroom.” 

He stood with all his things in his arms, Lion rising with him, “Thank you.” 

Then the two of them were gone, no more sound came from the bathroom other than the soft  _ floop  _ of Lion laying on the linoleum. Connie tried her best not to feel shut out, this was undoubtedly a lot for him―she couldn’t expect him to take it in stride. 

“What’s up with him?” Peridot asked, already getting started on putting the unimportant back into the closet to most likely go unseen for another seventeen years.

Connie dusted off her pajama pants, “He’s upset.” 

“Why? Shouldn’t be  _ happy _ that he found his house?” 

“Oh, my god.” she pinched her nose bridge, “I know you guys are aliens but you’ve  _ got  _ to work on human emotions. He had a  _ whole life  _ here he can’t remember, his dad is probably still out there, and he found out that what happened to his home was just another lie that the Diamonds told him. He’s  _ upset _ .” 

Lapis leaned against the couch, “Well, is there anything we can do? Did his weird dream powers show you anything else?” 

“No, the dream…”  _ ‘Then stop pretending’,  _ White Diamond had said before her sharp nailed hand descended, growing closer and closer, “the dream ended there. I think it’s best if we just give him time, I guess.” 

Peridot rolled her eyes, “We don’t have  _ time _ . I need him so we can finish assembling the communicator or does he  _ want  _ the planet to be annihilated?” 

“Peridot!”

“What? It’s true.” 

Connie huffed, “Lapis and I will help.” she ignored Lapis’ groan at being lumped in, “Just tell us what to do and we can leave all the stuff we need Steven for, for when he’s  _ feeling better. _ ” 

“Fine, fine.” the Gem closed the closet, grumbling, “You didn’t even make me a flower crown…” 

Connie found it hard to focus as the three of them worked to sort through the rest of the salvage, the Gems hadn’t seemed to notice―thankfully too wrapped up in a lengthy conversation about the virtues of a Percy/Pierre relationship―but her fingers were clumsy over the rudimentary casing of the communicator and she kept nearly snapping the more fragile pieces in his calloused hands. She was going to see her parents again, after two long years she was going to be able to hug her parents again. She could return home without feeling panic and bile rising in her throat and she’d sleep in her quaint, cozy, four-walled room with paper stars hanging from her ceiling. They’d have dinner and she’d fill them in on all the wonderful,  _ terrifying  _ things she’d done for the planet. The war would be over! Finally!

And she’d never see Steven again. 

She hissed in pain as a sharp bit of wire nicked her thumb. After ensuring that it hadn’t been enough to break the skin, she went back to wiring. 

She’d lied, really. Her parents would most likely never approve of Steven―they were over-protective of her and had an extensive list of requirements they had for any person she considered a friend; Steven would be lucky to fit one of them. But still, she couldn’t help but...imagine. That was all they were: Imaginings. Her and Steven taking late night drives, the kind she’d always read about where you were different by the time the car parked; sleepovers where they fought to keep quiet to avoid her parents finding out; maybe even...a school dance, if either of them ever found the courage. 

But that was impossible, of course. And it had to be for the sake of the planet. 

Peridot pressed a button, a small portion of their communicator lit up, “Hm. Satisfactory for now.” she glanced up, “How’s the galactic signaller going, Connie?”

She held up the mass of wires and delicate glass in her hands, “...Bad?” 

“Ugh, expected.” she raised her voice, “Wish we had a Diamond to help us out!!”

Lapis hooked two pieces of metal together, “Leave him alone, Peri, let him be bummed.” 

She looked like she wanted to argue but instead set her jaw and went back to fiddling with her work. They worked in relative silence until the Warp Pad suddenly went off, depositing Bismuth back into the living room with an armful of freshly made axes. Connie, Lapis, and Peridot sucked in a breath, Bismuth only made axes when she was really pissed off. 

“Where’s the Diamond?” she asked curtly, throwing the axes aside with a series of sharp clatters, “He’s gotta know more than he’s letting on, they wouldn’t leave one of their own in the dark like this.” 

“Bathroom but he’s, like, really down.” Lapis answered with a pacifying hand up, “Apparently all this stuff is stressing him out.” 

“Tough.” she stomped over to the bathroom, turning sharply towards them before she reached the handle, “Made Pearl into a  _ servant!  _ Can’t believe it! You all never got to see her back during the real fighting―she’d  _ never  _ follow a Diamond! They must’ve done something to her, something to make her not fight back.”

Connie shrugged, “She seemed to really care about him, Bismuth. She covered for us when Blue nearly found me out and she comforted Steven when Blue left; she  _ told  _ me to take him with me, remember?” 

The Gem grimaced, “That doesn’t sound like my Pearl.” 

She grabbed the handle and through the door open, the low growl of Lion emanating from the bathroom, “He’s asleep, got that lion wrapped around him.” 

“Let him, humans need sleep, right?” Lapis said, “You can interrogate him when he wakes up, right? They’re already captured, what else could happen?” 

“They could be  _ shattered,  _ Lazuli!” 

Peridot chipped in, “Well, the Diamonds could’ve shattered them when they were first captured. If they’re still alive now, chances are it’s for a reason.” 

She frowned, “Still. I can’t believe you’re all buying his innocent act…”

“What act?” Lapis argued, “Bismuth, we know you don’t trust him or whatever but Steven’s honestly a nice person. He wanted to know all about the corruptions to see if he could help heal them after we got back yesterday.” 

“ _ And  _ he’s helping us with this communicator!” Peridot added, 

“And he said he’s gonna order the release of my parents when we contact Yellow Diamond.” Connie said, her expression pleading. The Gems’ eyes widened at her statement, “He’s been through stuff on Homeworld and he wants to make things better. You saw it, too; you wouldn’t have let him bubble that Gem if you didn’t think he meant it. You have to believe us.” 

Bismuth closed her eyes solemnly, “I can’t.” 

Lapis groaned, “Bismuth! C’mon, y―” her words were cut off by a high-pitched chime, “What was that?” the chime repeated, echoing across the small house, “What is that?” 

The sound looped, Peridot stood and pulled out a small gadget that had been previously buried under the scrap. Once it was unearthed, the chime grew louder, “It’s a signal, it’s receiving a signal...but from where?” 

There was shuffling from the bathroom and then Steven came running out with Lion right beside him, “No, no, no, no,  _ where  _ is that sound coming from?!” Peridot raised the object, his eyes widened, “Oh, stars.”

“What is it?” Connie asked, unnerved by his panicked expression. 

“It’s my chime.” he answered, nervously flitting his hands about, “Th-The Diamonds we all have a chime for when somebody tries to contact us, that one’s mine. Som-Somebody knows I’m here.” 

Peridot held the chiming tech an arm’s length away, “But it’s just a signal! Where is it signalling to?!”

“A base! Bismuth,” he whipped over to her, “did my mother have a base on Earth? Somewhere for communications and the like?” 

She shook her head, “Not on Earth. Closet one’s on the Moon.”

“The Moon?!” Connie, Lapis and Peridot chorused. 

“That must be the one,” Steven insisted, “can we Warp there?” 

She clicked her tongue, “Diamond bases are a fortress, the only way there is by spacecraft and we don’t have one.” 

Steven paced around, “We have to get there and destroy the signal before they find me. We  _ have  _ to! How can―oof!” he was stopped by Lion pressing his wet snout into his chest, “Lion, what are...wait…” he cupped the animal’s face, “can  _ you  _ get us to the Moon?” 

“Steven. It’s an animal.” Lapis deadpanned. 

“And he’s a great one.” he venerated, “Can you do it, buddy? Can you get us to the Moon?” 

There was a moment then Lion’s eyes lit up bright white to the utter shock of every person in the room; Steven grinned and straddled the glowing lion, “Oh, you’re adorable! Hop on!” 

Peridot looked around to confirm that everybody else looked completely lost, “That’s not normal lion behavior, yes?”

“No!” Connie hopped off the chair, the familiar buzz of adventure ringing in her bones, “But it’s incredible!!” she sat behind Steven, the two of them sharing a goofy smile, “Get on!”

Lapis gingerly walked over, “This is weird. Even for us.” 

The three Gems carefully got on the animal’s back, anticipation hanging in the air. Steven scratched Lion’s ears, “Come on, boy, take us to the Moon!” 

Lion stretched his legs and began to gallop―towards the wall. He didn’t slow despite the loud protests of his passengers, a fierce determination in his eyes. Then he  _ roared _ . A loud, echoing roar that tore through the air in front of them and produced a glowing portal. Connie instinctively wrapped her arms around Steven fearfully. Lion jumped through. 

Colors swirled around them and an unrelenting wind blew past as they soared through the endless expanse of light and color. Lilting giggles escaped from Steven’s throat as he whooped and hollered despite the Gems screaming in confusion behind them. 

Then, just as suddenly as it happened, it was over. All five of them were thrown around a dark circular room, Lion immediately collapsing onto the ground. 

“Lion!” Steven exclaimed, running over to him and checking him over, “He’s just asleep, whew.” 

The lack of gravity bounced Connie around, every step taking her just a little higher than she would like. She pushed her hair away from her eyes, “This is your mother’s base?” 

Steven nodded, taking a scrunchie from his pajama pants’ pocket and tying his hair up, “Yup, it probably hasn’t been used since the war…it even has the original insignia.” he gestured to the massive engraving of four diamonds beneath their feet, “And the portraits, even.” 

Connie looked around herself, surely enough the walls were adorned with gigantic mosaics of each Diamond, surrounded by the planet they’d conquered. Connie suddenly felt very small. 

“Wow.” Peridot marveled, “I know the Diamonds are, like, tyrants or whatever but these are  _ masterful _ .” she pointed to the angular depiction of Yellow Diamond, “They got her likeness down!” 

Bismuth walked forwards, “This ain’t a gallery, we’ve got a job to do.” 

The Gems and Connie followed her, Steven lagged behind before fully stopping in front of Pink Diamond’s image, her lethe fingers cradling Earth. Connie fell back, watching him study it with an indescribable expression, “Steven?”

“They still have portraits of her like this on Homeworld. Of her when she was the ruler of this planet. Blue loves them, it’s the only thing they have left of her.” 

“But you’re her son, they have  _ you. _ ”

“I don’t count.” he traced the line of the carvings, “I’ve never counted. White...she, um, she makes me look at her portraits when I have my outbursts...they want me to be like her and I just can’t.” his hands stopped, “It makes her  _ furious _ .” 

There was more to that sentence and she could feel it weighing down on both of them. 

_ ‘Then stop pretending.’  _

“C’mon, you two, hustle!” Bismuth called, Steven snapped out of his stupor and hurried to catch up leaving Connie to stare up at the massive form of Pink Diamond. She wanted to say something, to beg her to take back the destiny she gave to Steven, but it wouldn’t have done any good. 

She caught up with the group. 

The spiralling staircases led them to a massive deck at the top of the base, it was bare for the exception of a chair and a desk that looked over the glittering stars and the slowly rotating Earth. 

“Whoa…” she and Steven marveled. 

Peridot immediately went over to the desk, “There’s nothing on here!” 

“It needs to be activated.” he said, walking over and placing his hand against a panel. The desk lit up with confusing looking graphs and old records, “Ta-da!” 

“Ooooh!!” Peridot’s eyes sparkled at the sight of all this data, “This is the entire colonization plan, every planned Kindergarten and Galaxy Warp station. They had big plans for Earth. 

“Let me see,” Steven craned his head over to look, the rest crowded around him, “oh, stars. Let me just―” he pulled his hand off the desk in a sharp motion and suddenly a projection of Earth appeared. He flicked his hand aside and slowly the projection hollowed out, Connie watched horrified as her planet became nothing but a lifeless husk. 

Lapis inhaled sharply, “No.”

“This is horrible.” Bismuth conceded, Peridot looked away. 

Connie glanced over to Steven and saw... _ amazement?  _ Giddy amazement on his features that turned to confusion then shame in a split second, he slammed his hand down and the projection switched off, “I’m sorry.” he muttered, “That’s not right. L-Let’s find whoever’s sending the signal, it’s probably some Carnelian or a Kunzite or―no.” 

His entire body froze at the sight of a blinking yellow diamond at the center of the screen. Lapis’ eyes widened, “It isn’t…”

“It’s Yellow.” he said, looking like he might fall over at any second, “It’s  _ Yellow!  _ B-But how did she find me, how does she know― _ we’re not ready!”  _

Connie steadied him, “Take a deep breath.”

“Connie, no! No! It’s Yellow! I can’t, I can’t do this now, I―” his chest rose and fell wildly, eyes flicking to and fro, “oh, stars, oh, stars, oh, stars.” 

Bismuth squared her shoulders, “I’ll talk to her. Same as we planned, look alive. Peridot, answer the call.”

“Bismuth, are you sur―”

“Answer the call.” 

Peridot nodded, pulled her shaking hand from her side and timidly answered the call. A small screen opened, Bismuth gestured them over. She, Lapis, and Peridot all stood stone-faced at her side, hopefully hiding their fear in their cold expressions. Steven stood off to the side, shivering violently. 

The entire screen went yellow, a chime much like Steven’s emanating from it. Connie steeled her gaze as the profile of Yellow Diamond came into view. Coldness, obvious power, and dismissiveness rolled off her in waves. She didn’t look at the camera dead on at first, only offering a side-eye before speaking, “Of course.” she muttered. 

Bismuth puffed out her chest, “Yellow Diamond, we―”

“No.” her heavy voice cut through. 

“No?” Bismuth shook off the confusion, “We are the Crystal Gems and we d―”

Yellow rolled her eyes, “ _ No. _ Where is she?” Steven stiffened, “I know she’s with you, playing her little games. Where’s Pink?” 

“W-We do have Pink Diamond as our prisoner and he...she will only be returned to you after you―”

“You don’t have her as a prisoner. She went willingly, didn’t she? With those stars in her eyes and her blasted fantasies of Earth. You probably didn’t even have to convince her.” she pointed at the screen, still not giving them even the slightest look, “Let me speak to her or I will have her entire base destroyed and reduce you all to smithereens.” 

Bismuth glanced over to Steven, he shakily moved from his spot until he was in view. Yellow made eye contact with him, not a flicker of affection in her gaze, “Shameful. When the Sapphire told me she saw you on  _ Earth,  _ fraternizing with the enemy, I almost didn’t believe her. I didn’t think you’d be so…” her eyes narrowed, “disappointing.” 

Steven gazed down at his feet, Yellow snapped, “Look at me when I’m talking, Pink.” 

“Yes, Yellow.” he answered, his voice hollow and small. 

“I thought you’d finally grown out of your childish obsession with that planet. You and your fixation on its life, you were like this two thousand years ago and you haven’t changed.” she let out an airy sigh, “Tell me, why are you so intent on betraying your Homeworld?” a second passed without an answer, she slammed her fist down making Steven whimper, “Answer me!” 

“I-I’m not betraying Homeworld, Earth is...is my home, too and I―” 

“YOU ARE NOT HALF-HUMAN.” she bellowed, “I do not know where you got this  _ ridiculous  _ notion and I do not know when you will give up this game of make-believe but you  _ must  _ grow up sometime, Pink. Look how shameful you’ve made yourself.” Steven’s shoulders shook, Connie’s heart beat hard in her throat, “You will be sent straight to White once you return.”

“No! Pl-Please, Yellow, just send me to th-the Tower. I won’t misbehave again, I wo-won’t, I―”

She sneered, “Silence. You’ve proven that the only way to get through to you is through White. These delusions of yours have only gotten worse since you changed your form, at least through White’s actions you’ve begun to look more like yourself.” 

“Yellow…” 

“Blue’s always been too soft on you. Stars know I’ve told that to her a billion times before.” she pinched her nose bridge, “And that blasted Pearl that kept you hidden away from us on that damned rock, filling your head with nonsense...I told Blue to shatter her outright but you threw a fit and Blue’s never been skilled at denying you…” 

“Don’t do anything to Pearl, please!” he begged, “Sh-She has  _ nothing  _ to do with this, it’s all my fault!” 

“Obviously.” she exhaled forcefully, “We’ve found your location on Earth, a dropship will be there soon to collect you and put an end to this charade.” 

Steven’s shoulders drooped, “Yes, Yellow.” 

“No!” Peridot shouted, “We won’t let you take him!”

He turned, eyes wide with tears and face flushed. 

“Yeah!” Lapis joined in, fists balled, “You’ll have to go through  _ us  _ if you want him.”

Yellow scoffed, “We will. Easily.” she peered closer, “Pink Diamond belongs on Homeworld.

Connie walked forwards, taking Steven’s hand into her own, “ _ Steven _ belongs on Earth.” 

Lapis and Peridot joined her, forming a protective wall around Steven. Peridot taunted, “Come get us, you  _ clod!”  _

The Diamond seethed, “I will personally assure each of your shatterings and I will make it  _ painful. _ You are out of your depths, you have no idea what you’re up against.” 

Bismuth crossed her arms, staring the Diamond dead in the eyes, “We know what we’re fighting for.” she placed a hand on Steven’s shoulder, “We know  _ who  _ we’re fighting for.” she shapeshifted her arm into a pickaxe, “See you soon.” 

She plunged the pickaxe into the center of the desk, Yellow Diamond’s furious visage glitching and fading to nothing. Everybody released a breath, “Woo!!” Peridot cheered, “Got her  _ again!”  _

“She was so  _ pissed!”  _ Lapis laughed, she elbowed Bismuth, “Nice job there.”

“All in the wrist.” she said, shapeshifting her arm back. 

Connie smiled, “That made her mad, huh, Steven?” 

Steven didn’t look happy, if anything he looked  _ haunted,  _ “What have you done?” 

“We told her off!” Peridot exclaimed, “Just like we planned!” 

He shook his head forcefully, “No, no, no, what have you  _ done!?  _ She’ll kill you! She’ll kill all of you!” 

Lapis shrugged her shoulders, “Steven, it’s okay, we’ll fight her off.” 

“You were  _ supposed  _ to give me up! Why didn’t you!?” 

“I didn’t like how she talked to you.” she spat, “You don’t deserve that.” 

Steven hissed, “But I do.”

Connie squeezed his hand, “No, you don’t!” 

“Yes, I do,  _ Connie!”  _ he pulled his hand away, separating himself from the group, “The Diamonds did all these  _ horrible  _ things to Earth, my  _ mother  _ did horrible things to Earth, and I carry all of that. She took the easy way out but I do get to, my legacy is one of death and shattering and corruption and parents being  _ stolen  _ and lives ruined and I  _ can’t stop it!  _ The Diamonds have  _ never  _ cared about me, that beautiful planet full of beautiful people is going to  _ die  _ because I was born!” he screamed, tears streaming down his face, “You guys are gonna die because I...and I can’t change!” a strange, manic laugh ripped from his throat, “I’m programmed to be just as terrible as the others. I saw that awful image of a planet torn to shreds and a part of my brain was just so  _ proud  _ of it and I hate it!” They couldn’t do anything but watch as he spiraled further, “I hate it so much, I thought I was doing so much better―that being on Earth had somehow  _ fixed  _ me but I’m still just as bad! Just let the Diamonds take me back.” his fists shook, Connie offered a soft, 

“They’ll hurt you.” 

He froze, his eyes fixated on her like a frightened animal, “Connie…” a glowing blush spread on his cheek like neon paint, he growled, “ _ LET THEM.”  _

The neon pink spread over his entire body, turning every bit of him pink, his pupils turning a molten white. Connie staggered back, Lapis and Peridot gasped. Steven looked lost then looked down, catching his reflection in the glossy floor, he gasped, “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” 

Bismuth laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Hey, focus on me.” she cupped his chin and forced him to look at her, “It’s okay, you’re safe. Nobody here is going to hurt you.”

“I-I’m sorry.” he sobbed, screwing his eyes shut. 

“Nothing to be sorry about, deepcut.” Bismuth said, “Hey...Steven.” he opened his eyes, blinking some of the tears away, “The Diamonds, they’ve hurt you before, haven’t they. More than just mean words and stares...they’ve harmed you, badly. Right?” 

He sniffed, nodding shakily. 

“We’re not letting them take you.” she promised, “Never in a million years.”

“But I―”

“But nothing.” Lapis cut in, “You’re a Crystal Gem, Steven, and we look out for each other. There’s nothing you could do that would change that.” 

Peridot joined in, “I betrayed them like six times and the worst Lapis did was hit me with a newspaper!” 

Connie wrapped her arms around him, his skin was hot beneath his clothes, “We’ve got you, Steven.” 

The others joined in on the group hug, Steven looking around until he finally hugged her back, the pink fading from his skin. 

“Thank you.” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the crystal gems: hey yellow diamond look at me  
> yellow diamond:   
> the crystal gems, legally adopting steven: bitch
> 
> [also fair warning ive been SO excited to write the next chapter so um :)]


	9. Thorns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long boy!! but that's because so much shit happens lol  
> have fun!

9

Thorns

Lion skidded to a stop in the middle of a lush field, the sun high in the sky and the sound of cicadas buzzing. 

Steven tiredly lifted his head from Lion’s mane, his pink episode sufficiently leaving him drained of any energy, “Where are we?” 

“The barn,” Bismuth voiced, hopping off Lion’s back along with Peridot and Lapis, “if we’re gonna have Homeworld Gems on our turf, it’s time to let the rest of ‘em know.” 

“Homeworld ships are _fast_ ,” Lapis began, gazing up at the sky, “it won’t take them long to get here when Yellow Diamonds gives them the order.” 

Peridot continued, “She’ll most likely send the best of the best―Jaspers and Rubies and Quartzes, so we’ve got to be prepared.” 

Connie carefully helped Steven get down, letting him lean his body weight against hers. He grimaced, “We’ll be outnumbered.” 

Bismuth chortled, “Never stopped us before!” she clapped him on the back, “Now, those rocks over in the barn are fresh off Homeworld, okay? They’re newer to the cause and will probably be a little cautious around you.”

“Because I’m a Diamond.”

She snapped her finger in his direction, a wordless ‘you got it’. A gesture Steven clearly didn’t understand by the confusion on his face, Connie filled him in, “She means you’re right.”

He fidgeted, “They’re gonna be mad…”

“They might be a little put off but once they realize you’re on our side now it’ll be smooth sailing.” the five of them started towards the barn with Lion ambling behind them. Connie adjusted her arm around Steven’s waist, “Are you doing okay?”

“Mmhm.” he said through a tight lips, “Should I have brought anything? Whenever the generals of colonies came to meet Yellow and Blue they’d bring gifts but―”

“It’s fine! You aren’t a general, silly.” 

He let a small smile spread, “Okay, okay...I’m just nervous, I guess. And tired.” he yawned to punctuate his point, “Nervous and tired.” 

“Yeah, that pink thing really wiped you out.” she noted, “What was that, by the way? Just asking.”

“I...I really don’t know.” he admitted, shaking his head, “It wasn’t like all my other powers, it was just _really_ intense. Like I was feeling _everything_ and it was too loud and I thought I was going to…” he swallowed, “die? I thought I was dying. It was like Yellow had already done _it_ and I had just sat by, you guys were still there but, stars, you get it.”

Connie thought for a moment, “That sounds like a panic attack.” 

“A what?”

“A panic attack.” she shook her head of memories of curling up in her bed while her heart threatened to break from her chest, “I used to get them―still do sometimes. It’s like you said: Everything gets too much all at once and you feel like you can’t breathe, like something’s squeezing your throat, right?”

He blinked, “Y-Yeah!” 

Connie hemmed, “Makes sense that you’re so tired, then. They’ll do that.” 

“I think I’ve had one before. A couple maybe, back on Homeworld.” 

“Well, next time it happens, you won’t be alone.” she said, he looked up at her with his big heterochromic eyes, “You’ll have me.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

The barn came into view, Bismuth placed her hands on her hips, “Alright. Connie and Steven, you stay out here while me, Lapis, and Peridot debrief the Off-Colors. Rhodonite might just go destabilizing herself if we just waltz in with you and she realizes you’re a Diamond.” 

Steven’s eyebrows shot up, “They’re Off-Colors?”

“Yeah…” she answered but from the expression on her face, Connie could tell she was worried about something, “you’ve met an Off-Color before?”

He shrugged, “I _am_ an Off-Color.” 

The worry on her face was alleviated somewhat, “That’ll do it. Wait out here, okay?” she gestured to Lapis and Peridot, “With me.” 

The three walked off into the barn, stepping over left behind scrap and half-finished machinery on their way. Voices filtered out of the barn once they opened the door but as soon as they closed it the countryside went back to being filled with quiet ambiance. Steven stood stiffly, taking his arm off of Connie’s shoulder in favor of lacing his hands together just to split them up then repeating the action over and over while Lion sat next to him. 

“Still nervous?” she asked after a minute, he paused, 

“Is it that obvious?” 

“A little.” 

“Meeting new Gems, it’s all a little...you know.” he said in a tired voice, “Talking to your human friends, Sadie and the mean one and the cool ones, it was easier than I thought. I froze up at first but then I figured they don’t...know me. To them I’m just Steven, a human, but to _Gems_ , they know who I really am.” 

“But you _really are_ ‘just Steven’.” Connie debated, “Trust me, you’re going to be completely fine.” 

The corners of his mouth pulled downwards slightly, “I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be _completely_ fine.” 

“That’s okay.” she nudged him, “Nobody’s completely fine all the time.” 

Steven smiled, “Mm.” his eyes gazed across the lush fields, he sighed, “This planet really is beautiful. There’s so much _life_ here and things are always changing,” he crouched down to watch a bumblebee move from one flower to the next, “and its people―” he stole a gentle glance her way, her chest tightened, “Rose Quartz had the right idea.” 

Connie sat in the grass with him, “I think she’d like you. Honestly.” she added at his unconvinced look, “Bismuth doesn’t really talk about her often because her shattering is still really _fresh_ to her but when she does talk about her, it’s always about how much she loved Earth and how kind she was. Sounds a lot like you.” 

He picked at the grass, “You think?” 

“Definitely.” she said, “Apparently she was _gorgeous,_ too. There’s no pictures of her around but she was a total force to be reckoned with.” 

Steven smirked, “Is this your roundabout way of calling me gorgeous?” 

Connie snickered, pushing him down on his back while he giggled, “Shut _up!”_

She laid back with him, the two of them looking up at the lazily drifting clouds against the pale blue sky. Glancing over to him, she saw that he was already looking at her; blush dusted against both of their faces as they laughed awkwardly at both being caught staring. Connie reached over and plucked a dandelion from the ground, “Watch this.” 

A soft breath was enough to send the seeds floating into the air, his eyes watching their descent into the sky and out of view, “Wow. Connie, that’s magic.”

She chuckled, “It’s _science!”_

“No, no, not _magic_ magic, more feeling magic. It makes me feel like magic, you know?” 

“I think I do.” 

“A lot of things make me feel like that here…” 

“Like?” she prompted. 

“Well, I dunno. Sunrises, I guess. And romance movies, and rain, and music, and strawberries on toast, and you, and deserts, and scrunchies. Stuff like that.” 

Her heart beat in double-time, “Wait, me?” 

“Yeah, of course, you.” he smiled, “Who else?” 

It was like her head was suddenly filled with cotton, her usually well thought out and informed speech reduced to mumbling thoughts. Why did she feel like this? They were friends, of course he cared about her. More than cared for her. 

He thought she was magic. 

Peridot’s call pulled her out of her stupor, “Come on in!” 

Steven sat up immediately, offering a hand to help her up. The two of them jogged over to meet Peridot, Lion electing to keep sleeping outside. She led them into the cluttered barn which always seemed to have something new stuffed inside even though it appeared to not be able to take much more. Most notable of the things that sat around, a gigantic drill head meant to be used in their mission for the Cluster. 

The Off-Colors were lined up in a new row like a welcoming party, probably directed to by Bismuth. The welcoming brigade and tight smiles barely hid the sweat beading at the top of their foreheads and the way their eyes nervously locked on Steven. Well, Padparadscha looked completely fine but it was probably because she hadn’t caught up yet. As for Steven, he didn’t look much better―a fake-looking smile taking up his face as he took in the Off-Colors. 

Lapis pointed to him, looking morbidly interested in the situation, “Guys. This is Steven.”

His fake smile grew, “H-Hi.” Rhodonite and the Rutile twins reflexively curled their arms into a salute, cowering. Steven’s face fell, “Oh, stars, no. Don’t do that, please.” 

Rhodonite dropped her salute, her nervousness evident on every part of her form, “Bismuth, she told us you were a Diamond.” 

“A Diamond on Earth!”/“Completely unexpected! Terrifying!” the Rutile twins said in quick succession, always one beat from talking over each other as usual. 

Steven paled, “Don’t be scared! I-I’m on your side, I want this war over. Believe me.”

 _“Pink Diamond is here?!”_ Padparadscha shrieked suddenly before going back to her placid nature and pleasant smile. 

“Paddy, uh, can ‘predict’ the past so it takes her a while to catch up.” Bismuth explained, Steven studied the tiny orange Sapphire. He got down to her level, 

“Hello, my name’s Steven. I’m not Pink Diamond, well, I am but I don’t want to be.” he bit his lip, “I’m Off-Color, just like you.” 

Fluoride’s massive form shifted, “And...Off...Color...Diamond...how...novel…” 

Steven blinked up at her, “Are you a fusion? Sorry, dumb question.” he fidgeted, “But yes, I’m half-human.”

“Half-human?!” Rhodonite took a panicked step forward, Steven took a step back, “Th-That’s _impossible!_ Or at least indecent!” 

“Indecent?” he squeaked.

“You don’t look like a Diamond.”/“Much too small.”/“More like a Quartz.”

He grimaced then slightly lifted his shirt to reveal the diamond in his stomach, “It rotated when she gave up her form for me, I look human but...I mean, you can see.” he flippantly pointed to his pink eye. The Rutile twins leaned in to inspect it but Steven pulled his shirt back down forcefully, pink bubbling up on his cheeks again, _“Don’t.”_

The Off-Colors reared back, Steven gasped. Thankfully, the color disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, “Sorry!” he exclaimed, blushing furiously, “I-I don’t like when people get close to me and you got close to my gem and, uh, gosh, sorry.” 

“...Strange...indeed…”

After a drawn out moment of silence, Peridot swooped in, “Steven is a skilled engineer, once we beat Homeworld he’ll surely be able to help us finish construction on the drill!” 

Rhodonite fretted, “But first we have to defeat Homeworld and that’s _impossible_ , they’ll have massive armies.”

“And we’ll beat them like we did all those years ago.” Bismuth lauded, “We’ve got skilled Gems, half-gems, and humans on our side, we can take some grunts.” 

The Rutiles pursed their lips, “Yellow Diamond will be sending her best.”/“She’ll want Pink Steven back.”

“It’s just Steven,” he pleaded, “and she doesn’t want me back, she wants to get revenge. Her only goal is to...to shatter you all, she won’t take any prisoners.” 

Lapis rolled her eyes, “Total egomaniac.” 

“I know.” he snarked, “But still, we need a foolproof, _perfect_ plan to escape with minimal injuries.” 

Peridot puffed out her chest, “Way ahead of you, Steven! If you need strategy then you’ve come to the right Gem! First, what do you know of Yellow Diamond’s _best_ fighters? Anything at all?” 

“Mostly Quartzes, some Agates.” he counted on his fingers, “Oh, and the Jasper. She always uses her one more difficult battles, she’s _massive_. She was made in the Beta Kindergarten.”

The Gem scoffed, “Beta Kindergarten? What a joke, this will be easy.”

“Actually. Yellow calls her the ‘most perfect Quartz ever made’.” 

“Yeesh.” 

Lapis groaned, “Wait. Big, lots of hair, _constantly_ flexing?”

He shrugged, “Never met her actually, I’ve just heard stories.” 

“If she’s the Jasper I’m thinking of then we’ve got our work cut out for us,” she flew over on her water wings, “she’s a complete asshole but she fights until she wins. She doesn’t give up.” 

Connie joined in on the small group, “So, this will be a bigger battle than just a skirmish on the beach, right? Shouldn’t we tell the townspeople?” 

Bismuth gave a nod, “You and Steven go warn the townies. Get ‘em all together and tell them at once, cash in one of those ‘political favors’ we’ve got stocked up from that mayor guy to make it happen. We’ll stay here and work out a battle plan, meet you back home for dinner.” 

“On it.” she said, “C’mon, Steven, let’s go.”

“Yes!” he looked absolutely relieved, turning heel and walking from the barn quickly, “I-It was nice meeting you all, um, bye!” 

The Off-Colors all released a quiet sigh (Padparadscha’s sigh coming a few seconds after) once Steven was out of sight. Lapis scowled, “You guys don’t have to treat him like that. You didn’t even give him a chance…” 

Rhodonite flailed her hands, “How were we _supposed_ to react?! You’ve had _Pink Diamond―_ ”

“ _Steven_.” Peridot interjected lowly.

“―on planet and you just _bring her_ ―”

“ _Him._ ”

“―into our _base?!_ It’s ridiculous!” 

Bismuth huffed, “Rhodonite, we trust him, he’s a good kid―damaged but good. After we handle this whole Homeworld business, you all can take the time to actually get to know him.” 

“Irony…” Lapis snarked in sing-song. 

“I get it, Lazuli.” she bit back, “Connie, you should go, we’ll hold down the fort.” 

Connie made an understanding sound and left the Gems’ to their strategizing. 

Steven was sitting against Lion when she stepped back outside, quietly mumbling to the animal with a frown. Both perked up once he caught sight of her, waving her over. 

He hissed words in quick succession while she approached, _“That was so bad, I messed up so hard, oh, my stars.”_

“It wasn’t as bad as you thought!” she assured, “Th-They were just a little freaked out―”

“ _I_ was a little freaked out!!” 

“I know, I know, but give it, like, a week and they’ll love you, promise.” 

He released a long rush of air, “Yeah, yeah.” he sniffed, “So, are we going into town?” 

“Yep, well, oh―” Connie bit her thumb, “You don’t have your glasses…” 

“Well, shouldn’t they know why their entire town is about to be destroyed?” he picked at the grass, “Because of me?” 

“It’s not because of you, Steven.” she helped him up, “C’mon, if you want you can tell everybody I won’t stop you but I don’t think you have to―you wanted to be ‘just Steven’, right?” 

He sputtered, “I _tried_ to be ‘just Steven’ in there and it went pbbht!” 

“Give them time,”

“We don’t have time!” he stood, Lion rising with him, “Lion can take us into town, he’s all rested up from the last Warp.” 

Connie considered arguing her point further but with an imminent violent invasion breathing down her neck she couldn’t fit it in her schedule, “Actually, we’ve got to go to the Mayor’s office…”

Steven looked around, “What’s a mayor?” 

“He’s the person in charge of the town, his name’s Bill Dewey. Remember Buck? That’s his dad. Horribly incompetent, really.” she pulled out her phone, scrolling down her contacts until she reached Mayor Dewey, “He owes me and the Gems several dozen favors and it’s time to cash one in. We’ve got to get everybody in town together so we can warn them.” she typed a quick text forewarning him of their arrival then hopped onto Lion’s back, “Let’s go.”

◈

Commandeering the Dewey-mobile was much easier than Connie had expected. In fairness, they had more or less _teleported_ into the man’s office on a pink lion and Connie had simply stuck her hand out and said, “Keys, please.” So, he was more than a little caught off guard. 

The flustered, perpetually sweaty man pulled the keys (and his massive keychain of his own face) from his pocket and dropped it in the sixteen-year-olds hand. He’d tried to recompose himself while Connie filled him in on the upcoming battle but still his voice cracked when he pointed to Steven and asked, “W-Who is this?” 

“Steven. He’s new.” 

Mayor Dewey straightened his tie, “Hm, we-well let me be the first to welcome you to Beach City!”

Steven snorted, “You’re not the first!” 

The older man faltered, successfully stumped by two moderately strange teenagers. He swallowed, “Is the pink eye a, um, new trend? I consider myself pretty _hip_ bu-but―”

“I was born with it.” Steven interjected, “Well, no, no, I wasn’t but it’s a part of me. I-I, I usually hide them.” 

He fiddled with Lion’s mane, Connie could practically feel the circles his mind was racing in, “We have to go.” she said definitively, “We’ll be back soon,”

“Yes, yes...eh, Ms. Maheswaran,” he furrowed his brow, “you _do_ have a license, correct?” 

“Of course, Mr. Dewey.” she said with a smile that hopefully read ‘why wouldn’t I?’ rather than ‘I am lying through my teeth’.

The former must’ve been the case as barely two minutes later she and Steven were racing down the Boardwalk while Lion sat between the seats, the massive speaker atop the car blaring and drawing the attention of everybody near. Steven let out a massive gasp of relief once they stopped, Connie cracked a smile, “What?”

“This is how people get around on Earth?”

“Yeah…?” 

“You people are crazy!” he let out a breathy laugh, “That was terrifying! I loved it!” 

Connie pulled a megaphone from the glove compartment, “Well, most cars are a lot less gimmicky and usually the person driving it has a license.” 

“I don’t know what a license is but it _sounds_ important.” 

She pulled away her seatbelt, “Only if you get caught, right?” Connie jumped from the car, a small crowd of townspeople already gathered outside. Steven shrunk back in his seat, away from prying eyes. 

The muttering crowd quieted once Connie put the megaphone to her mouth, “Um, hi! Everybody. Very soon we will have an enemy Gem army on our beach,” eyes shifted and skin paled, “they are being sent here by one of the matriarchs of Homeworld so me and the Gems are expecting a big fight. This is a warning for you all. You guys should evacuate as soon as possible, I will contact you all when it’s safe to come back.” 

Murmurs rose up; Ronaldo Fryman spoke up, a dumb fedora perched on his head, “Are they here to dig out the massive mega-fusion!?” 

Panic entered the flittering voices, Connie raised a hand placatingly, “No, no, Yellow Diamond is sending them here because we’ve…we’ve stolen something from her and have refused to give it back.” 

Lars’ eyebrow arched, arms still crossed tightly in an attempt to mask the anxiety in his body, “S-So, if you give it back...she’ll back off?” 

“Yes, but―”

“No, buts Connie!” he snapped, “Just give it back to her! What is it anyway?”

She steeled her expression, “That’s not important. Just know it’s precious to me...and the Gems, them also.” 

“Copout!” he bit back, “If scary alien ladies are about to attack our town, we should know why!” 

Hums of quiet agreement followed his statement, Connie inwardly groaned. Lars wouldn’t back down until he got an answer but she didn’t want to just say that Pink Diamond (well, the closet they’d get to Pink Diamond) was going to be living in Beach City from now on. That was sure to stir up panic even if Connie managed to supplement it with: ‘but now she’s Steven and he’s great’. Mr. Universe would believe her, he always trusted her judgement fully but as Connie scanned the crowds, she didn’t see his rounded, tan face. She bit the inside of her cheek, “It’s complicated.” 

A light touch landed on her arm, “It really isn’t.” Steven said, a stony expression on his face, “Yellow Diamond is sending troops to come collect me, I’m the reason they’re coming.” 

Jenny pulled a disbelieving face, “You?! But you’re just...a kid…” 

“I’m really not. I-I am seventeen but I’m not, y’know, human...not all the way.” he gestured to his off-color iris, more murmurs rose from the crowd. All eyes were on Steven, “I’m Pink Diamond. It’s, it’s very nice to meet all of you.” 

It was like the world went still, all the townspeople’s mouths hung slightly open while Steven shifted on his feet, sticking his hand out for Connie to grab it. Sadie spoke after seemingly an eternity, “ _You’re_ Pink Diamond? The one trying to destroy the planet? _That_ Pink Diamond?” 

“I’m her son but to have me she had to give up her physical form, I had to take up her position as a Diamond b-but I _promise you_ I do not want this planet harmed in any way. The other Diamonds they don’t, don’t listen to me.” he tightened his grip on her hand, “I’m so sorry that I’ve put you all in this situation, really, I am and I wish there was something I could do to make it better.” 

“...Give yourself up?” Peedee Fryman suggested, “If Yellow Diamond is sending people here for _you_ why don’t you just...go?” 

Connie sneered, “It’s not happening.” 

“I tried.” Steven said sheepishly, “I’m sorry for, um, for lying to you about who I was and Connie is an absolute star with a sword s-so it should...it should be okay! It should be...okay.” 

She wasn’t exactly sure whether he was trying to convince the town or himself of his words. Steven tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear, avoiding eye contact but squeezing her hand even further. 

“Connie.” Nanefua began, a stern look on her face, “Do you trust this boy?” 

The answer was immediate, “Absolutely.” 

“Then we will trust him as well, all of us.” she turned back to face the crowd, her stony expression allowing no room for arguing, “Go do what you must, Connie.”

A bit of the stress in her chest unravelled, she smiled, “Thank you, Nanefua. Thank you everybody, w-we’ll sound the alarm once we see trouble and I promise you all that Beach City is protected.” 

People began to disperse once Connie shut her mouth, thankfully taking her informal closing of the gathering at face value. Steven let out a small sigh, “Was that good?” he whispered.

She did the same, “Most likely the best it could’ve gone.” she jabbed her thumb towards the Dewey-mobile, “C’mon, let’s take this back and then we can head…” she faltered, the Cool Kids, Sadie, and Lars stepping towards them, “back home…oh, he-hey, guys.” 

The teens’ eyes glanced at Steven, Connie worried that Steven would be set alight under so much intense scrutiny. He didn’t speak, simply averting his eyes and folding his hands together. 

“You know the whole time?” Lars asked in a way that told her he wasn’t looking for an answer, venom in his voice, “You just _let_ Pink Diamond run around and didn’t tell _any_ of us?” 

“Lars, please,” she placated, “the situation is really, really complex. Steven, he, he isn’t the Pink Diamond you’re thinking about. He has her title but the other Diamonds, they’re _forcing_ him to colonize the planet.”

“‘Forcing him’?” Sadie repeated, clearly not buying it. 

“It’s the truth.” Steven supplied, eyes fixed on the ground, “I-I don’t want any part of it. I want it to stop.” 

Sour Cream drawled, “Then...stop it. Aren’t you, like, a Diamond.”

“They wouldn’t listen.” he muttered, “I’m really sorry.” 

“Make them listen!” Jenny exclaimed, “This is our planet, Pink!” 

“My name is Steven.” he hissed, there was an electricity to the air around him, “A-And it doesn’t work that way, it’s _never worked_ that way.” 

“But why―”

Connie cut in, “Steven, you can head back with Lion.”

He looked up with dewy eyes, “What?”

“Head back to the house with Lion, I’ll meet you back there.”

“Huh? Are you…” he looked around, “sure?”

She was very sure. The last thing she wanted was for Steven to have to stand there and recount his storied past so they’d believe him, “Completely. We can watch a movie, one of the dumb romantic ones.”

Steven blinked, “Okay. Fine. That sounds good, Connie. Um,” Lion crawled out of the car, joining Steven’s side, “we’ll see you then, then. Be quick. Please.” 

The two walked off towards the Temple. Lars pointed, “Is that a goddamn _lio―”_

“The Diamonds hurt Steven.” Connie interjected, fists balled and heart set on making them believe him, “Badly. They hurt him and he’s really, _really,_ _really_ messed up from it, he doesn’t show it because he wanted to be a normal human for once in his life; he knows that his mom was bad and he _hates_ that we’re fighting for him but I’m _never_ letting the Diamonds lay a hand on him again, okay? So, you all have to _trust me_ when I say that Steven is not Pink Diamond―Steven is Steven, he’s kind and gentle and loves strawberries and scrunchies and thinks dandelions are magic, he’s worth this fight.” 

She let out a shuddering breath, all the pent up frustration she felt towards Steven’s past spilling out in a cathartic wave. The teens were silent, Lars narrowed his eyes, “Are you...are you into him?”

“Can it.” she snapped.

“Okay, okay.” Sadie exhaled, “We believe you and him, we’re just _scared,_ y’know? Beach City is our home.”

“Beach City is his home, too. And mine. We’d never let anything happen to it.” she relaxed her hands, “Now. I’m gonna go return that car and take a nap, I’ll let everybody know when trouble’s coming and when you need to evacuate, okay?” 

They all nodded, apprehension clear on their faces.

“Good.” Connie ran a hand through her hair and looked to the sky―clear, perfectly clear, “It’s all going to be okay.” 

◈

Connie was greeted to a plate of half-burnt strawberry toast once she stepped through the door, the slices cutely cut into triangles and set on the most flowery plate they owned. Steven smiled down from the loft once she picked up a slice, “Do you like it?” 

“I love it.” she said, “You made ‘em?”

“Yup! Didn’t even jump when the―what do you call it?―the toaster popped up, I’m going native.” 

She snickered, “Thanks, Steven.” 

“No, thank _you_.” he sheepishly twirled a lock of his hair around his finger, “I-I was getting really, um, really worked up when your friends started questioning me and I know you sent me away because you didn’t want me to be upset. So...thanks.” 

The genuineness of his gesture warmed her chest, “...I know you’d do the same for me.”

“Of course, you’re my best friend, Connie. I’d do anything for you.” 

That nearly knocked her off her feet, a tingly blush warming her entire face and her motor functions nearly ceasing entirely, “You’re my best friend, too.” she managed, trying to get her head back in order. Steven flushed as well, an infuriatingly adorable blush dusting his cheeks and his ears. He held up a DVD cover,

“I’ve got a movie set up!” he glanced at the shoddy photoshop on the cover, “‘ _The Big Night’,_ there’s probably a _lot_ for you to make fun of it here!” 

She kicked her shoes off and climbed up to the loft, stepping over a sleeping Lion, “Gosh, this looks terrible.” she grabbed the remote and pressed play, “You know me so well.” 

The movie came and went with a litany of scathing remarks from Connie and a host of cooing from Steven; Lion had joined them on the bed, curling around Steven and letting him lay his head against his mane. By the time they’d finished the third movie both were fighting to stay awake, eyes drooping and yawns punctuating their sentences. Neither was awake enough to suggest another movie, content to just watching the DVD logo bounce around the ancient TV. 

“You know…” Connie yawned, “once we get Homeworld off our backs you can move back in here.”

He lifted his head off Lion’s mane, “But where would you live?” 

“Back in my house, I guess.” she shrugged, “Finally have a door to my room again, hah.” 

“Where’s your home?”

“Outside of Beach City, about twenty or so minutes.” 

He pursed his lips, “Will you still...come to see me?”

“Yes, Steven,” she tiredly smiled, “I’ll get my license and a car and we can hang out every day. Well. Every day when I’m not studying probably. Hell, we could even go _out_ of Delmarva for a day!” 

“Go out?” 

“Yeah! We could visit Empire City or Ocean Town or... _Jersey,_ just you and me.”

He smiled softly, laying his head back on Lion’s mane, “I’d like that. Just you and me.” his hair fell across his eyes, Connie reached over to fix it, tenderly tucking the strands behind his ears. Steven looked up at her, she looked at Steven. 

Then Steven fell inside Lion’s mane. 

Connie yelped, all tiredness evaporating at the sight of her friend disappearing into the animal’s mane with a flash of light. Lion seemed completely unconcerned, not even moving from his spot. 

After an impossibly long second, Steven popped his head out and took a massive gulp of air, breathing out, “Oh, my stars!” 

“Steven! Wha-What _happened!?”_

“I-I don’t know! But Lion, he has a, it’s like a, a whole _world!_ A whole world in his head!” 

“Like a pocket dimension?!”

“I don’t know what that is but sure!” he heaved, “This lion is _full_ of surprises!”

Connie’s heart rate finally began to slow, “Okay, okay, are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, I am but there, there’s no air in his mane.” he pulled more of his body out, “And there’s this...tree and it has stuff all around it.”

“Stuff?”

“Yes, like a shirt, a flag, a-and a chest. There’s a painting, too, a painting of a lady.” he counted on his fingers, “Wait, let me…” he ducked back in, leaving the room silent again. Connie bit her fingernails, racking her brain to remember how long a human could survive without air. Hopefully, the inhuman part of Steven would give him a bit more leeway but she found herself internally counting nonetheless. 

Steven fell out of Lion’s mane seventeen and a half seconds later, clutching a tape to his chest. He gulped in air, “I-I only managed to grab this. It…” he handed her the tape, it was worn but still intact. But Connie was most interested in what was written in flowery cursive on the side: _For Steven,_ “it has my name. W-Why would it have my name?” 

“Maybe Lion did belong to you before or maybe...maybe he belonged to somebody that knew you?” 

“Like who?”

“Your dad or…” she swallowed, “your mom.” 

“My mom?” the words were barely strong enough to be called words, he stared into the middle distance, “Can we, c-can we watch it?” 

Connie turned the tape over in her hands, “Are you sure about this?”

“No.” he admitted, “But I think I need to.” 

The tape slid easily into the TV, the screen fizzing out before opening onto a grainy image of a beach―the same beach that sat outside the window. It skipped again, showing more shots of the beach, a shot of the Temple notably missing the house that the two were currently sitting in, and then a shot of a man skipping across the screen. A man Connie recognized. 

“Mr. Universe…?” she whispered, her curiosity was cut off by a female voice giggling, 

_‘Ha, what are you doing?’_

Steven’s breath hitched, his eyes glued to the screen. The image cut to a much younger Mr. Universe napping on the beach with a seagull perched on his stomach, the voice laughed again, whispering, _‘Greg made a friend.’_ the seagull squawked waking Mr. Universe and sending the woman into another laughing fit. She sounded so much like Steven. Connie spoke, 

“Steven, that’s―” 

She was cut off again by the screen cutting to show Mr. Universe looking sheepishly at the camera. 

_‘Go on…’_ the voice prodded gently. 

_‘Sorry, I’m getting stage fright.’_ Mr. Universe answered. 

_‘Tell us about yourself!’_ she compelled, sounding like an eager interviewer. 

_‘Well...let’s see here, my name is...Greg―no, no, no, this is all wrong!’_

The screen flashed, focused on a blue crab before Mr. Universe’s voice called, _‘Okay, go!’_ the camera panned up, showing him posed dramatically with his guitar, now sporting sunglasses, _‘They call me’_ he strummed, _‘Mr. Universe! Get ready baby, you’re gonna have the coolest dad this side of the cosmos!’_ he mimicked a guitar riff, goofily making the sounds with his mouth, _‘Press the button, Rose!’_

 _‘Oh! Right!’_ a colorful wave of stars covered the screen, _‘Was that the right one?’_

_‘Uh, maybe?’_

_‘Oh, what does this one do?’_ a star closed over the screen, the screen flashed once more, Mr. Universe now sat on the beach and calmly playing guitar while the woman softly spoke, _‘Isn’t it remarkable, Steven? This world is filled with so many possibilities…’_

Connie glanced over to Steven, his eyes were still glued to the screen, tear-filled and glossy. 

_‘Each living thing has an entirely unique experience. The sights they see, the sounds they hear. The lives they live are so complicated... a-and so simple.’_ the first tear dripped down Steven’s face, _‘I can’t wait for you to join them.’_

The camera flipped, the woman that’d been speaking finally shown. She had a kind rounded face and terribly sad eyes, her pale pink lips slightly parted and a giant mane of curly pink hair spilled all around her. Steven grabbed his own pastel curls in a fist. 

_‘Steven.’_ she began, _‘We can’t both exist. I’m going to become half of you And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that's me, loving you and loving_ being _you. Because you're going to be something extraordinary. You're going to be a human being.’_ the smile that had been growing on her face fell slightly, _‘Steven, I...I have made some mistakes and some_ terrible _errors during my life. But you will never be one of them, you are the one thing I’ve done that I can say I will never regret. I can only hope you’ll never...think otherwise.’_ she chuckled, _‘Oh, you make me so excited―I’m just thinking about what you’ll like and who you’ll love and what you’ll_ do _, ah! You’re going to be amazing, Steven, simply a star. I can’t wait for you to be you…’_ she sighed, the wind gently blowing against her ringlets, _‘I love you so much, Steven. And I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.’_

_‘Hey, Rose!’_

She looked off to Greg then gave the camera one last look, _‘Take care of them, Steven.’_

The camera fizzed again, showing the heavily pregnant woman running up to Greg who lovingly caressed her stomach before leaning in to kiss her. The video fell into static. 

Neither of them talked, the only noise being Steven’s sniffling and the fizzing static that filled the room. Connie tried to lay a hand on his back but he flinched away from the touch. 

“So...Mr. Universe is your dad…” she murmured, Steven hiccuped. Connie continued, “S-Steven, this is good! Mr. Universe, he, he thought his son was _gone,_ he’ll be so happy to―”

“He called her Rose.”

“Wha...what?”

“He called her _Rose,_ Connie. I-If she, if that was my, my mom, _why_ would he call her Rose?” he sobbed, more tears racing down his flushed cheeks, “Th-That can’t be my mom.” 

It was. It so obviously was. Everything from the woman’s laugh to Greg’s face to her sad eyes to Greg’s goofiness―Connie could only think of Steven as the combination of the two. He knew this too, his eyes screwing shut and his hands trembling, “Steven, just―”

He dove back into Lion’s mane, leaving Connie mid-sentence. She waited until he appeared again, pulling a canvas out with him; he wiped tears away, propping the canvas against the TV. 

It was the woman, serenely smiling with closed eyes and her hands clasped beneath her Gem. Her Gem that sat in the same place as Steven’s, glinting proudly. Steven choked back a sob, “I-I don’t understand.” 

The Warp Pad lit up. The Gems stepped, Peridot loudly announcing their arrival and the fact that they’d ordered pizza. The three entered the living room, Bismuth spoke, “We’ve got the beginnings of a plan going but we’ll need all hands on…” she finally spotted the two, “whoa, what happened?” 

Lapis rolled her eyes, “Did you watch one of those indie films Connie likes? I keep telling her they’re depressing.” 

Connie shook her head, “No, no, we found something and―”

“Who is this.” Steven demanded with an uncharacteristic intensity in his eyes, he turned the portrait so they could see it.

Bismuth gaped, eyes softening, “By the stars...where’d you two find a painting of Rose Quartz?”

The painting fell to the ground; Steven stood stiffly, his fists tight, “C-Connie?” he asked, impossibly calm, “This Mr. Universe, where is he?”

“He’s usually at the car wash, it’s just at the edge of town, I can take y―”

“No. No, I-I’m going by myself.” 

“Steven, are you sure?”

He sniffed, trying to wipe some of his tears away, climbing down from the loft and exiting without another word.

“What...happened?” Peridot asked, Connie wrapped her arms around herself, 

“I think you guys knew less about Rose than you thought.” 

◈

Steven wasn’t sure if this was real. 

Sure, he could feel his heartbeat and the warm air that curled around him but he kept expecting to wake up. He kept expecting to suddenly find himself back in the cold, empty space of his palace quarters, congratulating himself for constructing such a beautiful lie. Because this couldn’t be real. Connie couldn’t be real, Beach City couldn’t be real, strawberry toast at sunrise couldn’t be real. 

His mother _couldn’t_ be Rose Quartz. She just...she just _couldn’t._

 _But she was_ , a part of his mind supplied. He dug his nails into his arm, shutting his mind up for a moment more. 

Had Pearl known? She couldn’t have, she wouldn’t have _lied_ to him for so long. 

Then again, she’d never told him about Beach City or...Mr. Universe. 

What was he going to say to him? He’d never been the best at talking to other people or understanding social cues, usually he was unapproachable or unseen by other Gems. But this was his dad, his dad who thought he was dead. 

He reached what he’d guess was a car wash, a colorful sign that read ‘It’s a Wash!’ propped above a gray building. A van was parked beside it, it was painted all around the sides and sported the words ‘Mr. Universe’ in bold lettering. 

Steven’s insides twisted, he was so close. 

His feet carried him the rest of the way until he was at the doors on the back of the van. He knocked, knocking was polite. No answer, Steven forced down the urge to run. He knocked again. 

There was a shuffling noise, then a voice, “Hang on, hang on.” 

The doors opened and there stood Mr. Universe, he looked older than he had in the video but still had a friendly smile, “Sorry, bud, the car wash’s closed.” 

“A-Are you Mr. Universe?” 

“Last time I checked!” he chuckled at his own joke. Steven teared up, the man’s brow furrowed, “Whoa, kiddo, are you okay?”

“I-I...I think you’re my dad.” he stuck out his hand, handshakes were polite, “My name’s Steven.” 

Mr. Universe froze, “Steven…?” 

“I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t have just sh-shown up but I...I’m really _confused_ and―”

Strong arms wrapped around him tightly, a warm hand cupping the back of his head. Steven’s mind went quiet, he gingerly hugged his dad back, “H-Hi, Dad.” 

His dad lovingly pulled him closer, “Hey, Schtu-ball.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the universe men reunited!!!! connie is fully simping over steven!! the reveal!! so much shit!!
> 
> also i am now in the magnus archives hell and i am in pain


	10. Diptych

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol let's pretend its not two months later <3 xoxo
> 
> just moved into college and now the whole state is on fire, can't have SHIT in oregon

10

Diptych

Steven wasn’t back by the time she woke up. 

She’d been expecting (well, more  _ hoping _ ) that she’d wake up to him sprawled on the couch, snoring lightly but instead she awoke to an oppressive tense atmosphere, the portrait of Rose Quartz  (of Pink Diamond) propped up against the door. The Gems were talking tersely amongst themselves, Bismuth looking ready to snap at any moment while Lapis and Peridot looked on in sympathy. 

“...I never doubted her,” Connie overheard as she pulled away her blanket, “n-never questioned her, I just...I  _ trusted  _ her to be better than all of us and look where that got us. That damn ‘double shattering’...she must’ve been laughing at how she played us all for fools. Like the  _ Diamond _ she was.” 

Connie tensed at Bismuth’s words. Rose Quartz was always spoken about in soft, respectful tones never with the blunt fierceness Bismuth had taken to. 

Peridot sighed, “There’s more to the story, Bismuth. Why would Rose…” she furrowed her brow, plucking her visor off and running a thumb against the glass, “why would  _ Pink  _ make herself out to be an enemy of Homeworld? Steven talked about her during our trips to the Kindergarten, Rose Quartz is still the anti-Gem, still the villain.” 

“Oh, and you think Steven didn’t already know?” 

Lapis cut in, “Bismuth, that isn’t fair, he was a mess, you saw him.” 

“Trusted the kid, I really did.”

“Bismuth!”

“I know, stars, tha-that isn’t fair. It’s just…”

“He didn’t know.” Connie called from where she sat at the edge of the loft, three pairs of eyes met her, “I know you’re mad, Bismuth but―I was right next to him while we watched the video, he was really,  _ really _ shaken up. He had no clue that Rose and Pink were the same person. It looked like it really...hurt him to figure it out.” 

Bismuth grimaced, “Know the feeling.” she exhaled slowly, “Have you heard from him?” 

“No, I was just going to ask if he’d come back. He might still be out with Greg, hopefully he found him and they’re, I dunno, catching up, I guess. Lion’s gone too, hopefully he found him.” she pulled her knees close to her chest, “At least he got to meet his dad, right?”

“Who  _ cares! _ ” Peridot flailed, “We need Steven  _ here _ . Homeworld might’ve sent Gems out to kidnap him before the battle―the safest place he could be is in the house!” 

Lapis frowned, pulling at the hem of her pants, “Where do you think he is?”

“I...I don’t know. Maybe the car wash but maybe...maybe not even in Beach City anymore.” she shrugged, “H-He doesn’t have a phone or anything, there’s no way for us to track him.” 

“Hm.” Bismuth pondered, “You’ve got Greg’s number, right?” 

“I tried last night and a couple more times after that―shut off.” 

“Damn.” 

The soft sounds of the ocean lapping at the shore and the early morning light glinting against the floorboards grated against the thick tension in the room. Even with the revelation of Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond and the looming invasion, Connie could only find herself capable of thinking of one thing. 

She  _ desperately  _ wished Steven was at her side. 

Her lithe, calloused hands itched to be held in his larger, impossibly soft ones while he laid his head on her shoulder. Their hands fit so perfectly together. 

Steven had called her his best friend...did he know any words stronger? 

Did she  _ want  _ him to know any stronger words?

Connie shook her head, this was no time to be yearning through a disaster like some character in the movies she derided. Her planet was at stake, she stood and breathed through the tightness in her chest. 

“I’m gonna go train.” 

◈

A sour note rang out. 

Steven frowned, repositioned his fingers along the fretboard, and strummed again, “Like that?” 

“Perfect!” his dad (what a wonderful word) cheered, “Heck, if you keep this up I’ll run out of things to teach you!” 

_ He’s upset, you upset him, fix it, fix it, fix it.  _

“I’m sorry.” he tried, pleading that he hadn’t managed to destroy something so precious so soon. 

Greg’s expression softened, he placed his strong hand against Steven’s back lightly, “No, Steven, I’m  _ proud  _ of you, you’re a natural-born musician just like your ol’ dad! No need to apologize, okay? We’re just...making up for lost time.” 

_ He was proud of him.  _

Steven smiled―somebody was proud of him. He leaned deeper into Lion’s fur, “Next we should teach Lion!”

His dad jokingly seemed to consider it, “Hm...I think his paws are a little too big for a ukulele...maybe he’d like bass more! We could make a whole family band:  _ the Universes and Lion!”  _

“Lion is also a Universe! He’s my friend.” 

“Ah, okay, okay.” he chuckled, “You know, your mother had a  _ real  _ voice. Absolutely beautiful, just like her and just like” he ruffled Steven’s hair, “you.” 

Steven savored the feeling of his dad’s affection. The night he’d spent in his van had been filled with more casual tenderness than Steven was used to. It had just been...easy. The only thing closest to parents that Steven had were the Diamonds but they weren’t like Greg. The Diamonds were cold, distant, and wielded their affection as a privilege that he could never seem to earn. Greg was warm; he called him funny names, was always ruffling his hair or giving him pats on the back, and Steven didn’t flinch when Greg reached for him―it was just  _ simple.  _

His dad liked to tell him stories too, always with a song: Stories about him when he was younger (he used to have more hair) _ ,  _ stories about Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl (they wanted the absolute best for him), stories about Steven (he had allergies during the spring), stories about Rose Quartz (his mom, his mom,  _ his mom).  _

He always talked about Rose Quartz so softly. 

Steven didn’t understand―after  _ everything  _ Pink Diamond had done, how could she just pretend to be somebody so holy, so  _ blameless?  _ How could she just  _ leave him  _ to pick up her pieces, to fill shoes that she had abandoned, how could she  _ do that to him?  _

“Hey, hey, hey.” Greg spoke, wiping tears that had begun to slide down Steven’s bright pink cheeks. Steven snapped back to himself, releasing the painful grip he had on his own stomach. Greg waited until his breathing evened out, “Bad thoughts?”

He nodded. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

Steven bit his tongue but stopped just short of breaking the skin, “She…” he paused, willing the venom to leave his tone, “Rose never, she never told you about Pink Diamond, right?” 

“No, she didn’t. She never really liked to talk about her past.”

“And you never asked?”

“It didn’t matter to me, Schtu-ball. All that mattered was who she was now and what she was was somebody who cared about everyone and everything.” 

“But it was a lie.” 

His dad shifted, “I really don’t think it was. Rose...Rose was complicated and I always, I guess I always assumed that she had run away from something.” 

“Then why didn’t you...why did you never ask her?” 

He smiled softly, “Because I really loved her, Steven. And when you’re in love some things just don’t matter as much. I didn’t tell her everything either, love is about trusting each other but it’s also about understanding that there are some things that...people just can’t talk about.” 

“Okay.” he leaned on his dad’s side, accepting the heavy arm he wrapped around him, “I think I get it.” 

Greg squeezed him, “Good. Remember you can always talk to me, okay? About anything.” Steven made an affirming noise, “Alright, alright. Hm…” he glanced back at his van, “c’mon, there’s somebody that’ll be real excited to see you.” 

◈

The hilt of her blade didn’t ground her as well as she had hoped. 

It felt unwieldy, it made  _ her  _ feel unsteady and every swing reminded her that Homeworld was coming for them. Still, she swung and sidestepped and pierced until sweat dripped down her face and her arms cramped. This was good, no time to think. 

She plunged the blade into another of Bismuth’s training dummies, cursing herself for how clumsy it felt. They couldn’t afford mistakes, not with so much on the line. Connie had to be perfect― _ more than  _ perfect. She wiped the spit from the side of her mouth and tried again. Still sloppy. 

She tried again.

No.

Again.

No!

Again. 

**_No!_ **

Aga― 

“Connie!” Lapis’ voice called, her sudden appearance pulling her out of her trance. 

She panted, “What?”

“You...you need to take a deep breath. A-A few of ‘em.” she implored, putting herself between the teenager and the thoroughly destroyed target, “You really went wild. Is everything okay?” 

Connie groaned, fixing her grip on her sword, “Lapis, we don’t have time for this! Homeworld is―” 

“Homeworld is coming no matter what we do right now.” she said, crossing her arms, “Tell me what’s up.”

“You already know.”

“No, I really don’t.” 

“Rose was Pink Diamond.”

“So?”

She stammered, “S-So?! So she lied! She lied to everybody!” 

Lapis nodded, “But she still did all that stuff, helping Gems and trying to save the Earth. She still did that―Pink Diamond or not.” 

“It doesn’t…” she deflated, looking off to some distant point, “it doesn’t matter. She was a liar. All that talk about...about working through the ranks and becoming something  _ more,  _ it was all fake. Just a story.” bitterness rose in her throat, “I-I thought she was such an  _ amazing  _ example of what a  _ nobody  _ can do but she was just...playing pretend! It’s not, it’s not fair...” 

Lapis sighed, gently pulling the sword from Connie’s grip and putting it aside, “You’re not a nobody, Connie.”

“I never said I―”

“I can pick up context clues, thanks.” she snarked then sobered slightly, “I know we treat you like you don’t know what you’re doing sometimes but it’s just because we...we don’t know what we’d do if you got hurt. I think that’s what scared me the most when you started cozying up to Steven―the thought that he was just, I dunno,  _ playing you  _ and that he’d hurt you when we weren’t looking...it really messed me up.” she explained, “But, trust me, you’re the best of us, Connie. We’ve got a  _ Diamond  _ on our team―not for the first time, apparently―but still, if it came down to it? Connie Maheswaran is our best bet.” 

Heat rose on her cheeks, “Lapis…” she cooed before wrapping her arms around the terraformer, “thanks.” 

“Always.” they pulled apart. 

Connie looked up at the beach house, halfway expecting Steven to be sitting on the railing with a bright smile just for her. A part of her constricted at the void left in his absence, “Have you heard from Steven yet?”

“Not yet.” Lapis answered, a teasing smirk worked its way up her face, “You really like him, huh?” 

Panic struck her, “O-Of course I like him! He’s my friend, why woul-wouldn’t I like my...my friend?” 

Lapis snorted, “Connie, I’m not stupid. Me and my context clues, remember? You  _ like  _ like him, the romantic kind.” 

“I-I...I, um…” she sputtered, “I think so? I don’t know, I...I’ve never liked someone like that before.”

“You've definitely got it bad.” she teased, “I don’t think you could get redder if you tried.” 

“Is it obvious?!” she asked, mortified. 

“To me? Yeah, definitely.” at Connie’s terrified expression she rolled her eyes, “C’mon! You two are always holding hands and giving each other  _ longing looks,  _ you’ve talked to me about those romance books and you two are following every single step. I don’t think the others know, if that helps―Peridot’s never done the romance thing and Bismuth just got done trying to throw the kid in a bubble.” 

Connie hissed, “Do you think  _ Steven  _ knows…?” 

“Honestly? I don’t know.” she smiled, “You could always ask him…” 

“No way! Th-That’d be such a terrible idea!” 

She rolled her eyes so hard Connie worried for her sight, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“He could say no! And, ugh,” she ran a hand through her silky hair, “besides, there’s no time.”

“Sure is.”

“What would I even say? ‘Hey, Steven, I know we’re about to go into a battle where if we lose you’ll be taken back to your abusive home and we’ll all be killed BUT I was wondering if you’d want to get donuts later?’” she said sarcastically. 

Lapis shrugged, “Sounds good to me.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” she asserted, “Look, just...think it over, okay? We’re going to beat Homeworld’s ass and then you’re going to ask that Diamond on a date, it’s simple.” 

“It really isn’t.” 

“Most things are when you think about it.” 

“Don’t get philosophical on me, Lazuli.” 

Lapis offered her a smile, she picked up the hilt of the discarded sword and offered it to Connie, “I’ll leave you to it but just...take it easy okay?”

“Okay.” she tightened her hand around the leather, her grip was better, “Let me know if Steven comes back, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, lovebird.” 

◈

The van slowed to a stop outside of a lovely little home, just outside of a tarp-covered garage. Greg unbuckled his seatbelt, Steven followed his lead, Lion would be fine in the car; they walked to the door of the home and his dad knocked in two short bursts before calling, “Vidalia! It’s Greg!” 

Was that an Earth greeting? There were so many strange ways to say hello, Steven wouldn’t be surprised if ‘Vidalia’ was one of them. 

“Where are we?” Steven asked meekly. 

“Oh, Vidalia’s an old friend of mine! She used to watch you sometimes when you were a baby…” his face fell slightly, “jeez, Steve-o, you’re...you’re all grown up now, aren’t you? You turn  _ eighteen _ in, what, three weeks? God.” he took a deep breath, breathing out the words, “Fifteen years.” 

Sadness rolled off him in waves, hitting Steven square in the chest. The word ‘sorry’ worked it's way up his throat but he forced it back down. He grabbed his dad’s hand, “I’m here now.” 

Greg chuckled wetly, “Yeah. Yeah, you are.” 

The door opened, a familiar-looking middle-aged blonde woman standing in the doorway in a paint-covered comfortable looking smock and fluffy slippers. She reminded him of Amethyst vaguely...they’d be friends. Maybe he’d get a chance to introduce them. 

“Greg?” she asked blearily, “It’s early, man. I’ve never seen you up before noon.” 

“It’s for a good reason, Vi.” he said, gently pushing Steven further, “Look who finally came home.” 

The woman, Vidalia, eyes widened, any tiredness on her face evaporating. Her mouth hung open, “No goddamn way.” 

Steven stood stiffly, waving, “Hello.” 

“I-It’s  _ you!”  _ she cried, “It’s really you! Jesus Christ, I-I thought you were…” she looked him over, “ _ wow _ , you look like Rose.” 

He fought to keep a polite smile on his face. Why did  _ everybody  _ have to keep saying he looked like his mother? 

Vidalia stepped aside, ushering them inside her quaint home, “Come in, come in. I’m gonna get the boys up so they can meet you, then I’ll make something like a cheese platter o-or some shit like that and we can talk!” she gave Steven a tight squeeze before rushing up the stairs. 

The two Universes (what a  _ wonderful  _ last name!) sat on the worn couch waiting until Vidalia returned with two pale-haired boys trailing behind her. One of them stopped in his tracks upon seeing him, confusion blooming on his usually passive face, “Steven?!” 

“Sour Cream!” he greeted with a wave. 

Vidalia raised an eyebrow, “Wait, have you too already...reconnected?” 

“I met him at a party! I didn’t know he was  _ that  _ Steven―Mr. Universe’s Steven!” 

Greg playfully nudged him, “What were you doing at a party, young man?”

“Dancing with Connie!” he answered, stars in his eyes, “I-I’d never done it before and I wanted to try.” 

“Connie Maheswaran?” he asked, dumbstruck. Steven nodded excitedly, his Connie was always a welcomed topic, “I’m gonna guess that you’re the same ‘friend’ she needed the sandals for? The one she’s been having at the beach house?”

“Mmhm!” 

“Oof. Really missed the ball on that one.” 

Vidalia’s other son―a small, strange-looking human with very small ears―walked up to him, staring. 

“Hi.” Steven tried, feeling unnerved by the undivided attention. The child pointed to his own left eye, making a confused murmur, “Oh, my eye! I, um, this happened a long time ago. After my hair turned pink. It used to be brown before…” he couldn’t talk about splitting here, he wouldn’t be able to keep it together (in a very literal sense), “before it wasn’t!” he finished with a strained smile. 

Vidalia scooped up her son, “Don’t mind Onion, Steven. He’s just excited to meet you.” she held Onion in one arm, “Besides, I think the pink’s a really good look on you.” 

“Aw,” he blushed. 

“All that hair, too! Should’ve known with parents like yours, maybe  _ you’ll  _ actually be able to keep it.” she directed the last part to Greg, sticking her tongue out at his offended expression. 

Sour Cream grimaced, “Wait, but Steven said that his mom was _Pink Diamond._ ” Steven froze as the air turned frigid, “But Greg was with Rose, right? How is that…”

“Same person.” Greg answered, sheepishly scratching his neck, “Apparently, Rose, um, she faked her death as Pink Diamond and became Rose Quartz, my Rose. Then, she―”

“Can we not talk about this?” Steven snapped, his words as sharp as glass. The air turned colder, he curled into himself, “Sorry.” 

“No sweat, Steven.” Greg wrapped his arm around him again, steadying him. There was an extended moment of tense silence, “...Vidalia, you and Amethyst used to hang out, right?” 

“Yeah, all the time.” 

Steven perked up, “You know Amethyst?”

“Sure do! I guess you could say we used to get into  _ mischief…”  _ she said ‘mischief’ in a way that hinted that the word was much deeper than it seemed. Vidalia grinned, “Like this one time when we…” 

She went off into story after story of her and Amethyst’s antics before he’d been born, his dad interjecting to add details or gasp that he ‘knew that had been them!’. Some stories featured Pearl and Garnet as unwitting victims of their pranks, Steven felt like he was hearing of a past that he should have already known. The stories went on until she suddenly interrupted herself, “Wait!” she exclaimed, “Steven’s never seen my paintings!” 

“Paintings?” he asked, “You paint?” 

Vidalia stood, placing Onion down, “C’mon, I’ll show you.” 

“O-Okay…” 

She led him to the tarp-covered garage, each wall covered in paintings both finished and in progress. Many of them were of Amethyst, some were of spots around town, but one, just one was of him. His own pudgy face with two brown eyes and curly brown hair stared back at him, gap-toothed and wearing a red star-shirt, a halo of flowers and stars surrounding him. The name ‘Steven Quartz Universe’ painted in delicate lettering at the top of the canvas. He looked human. He looked  _ happy.  _

“Painted that a couple months after you went missing.” Vidalia spoke, standing at his side, “It was supposed to be for your...memorial” she swallowed, “but Greg didn’t want to give up, rightfully so.”

“Memorial?”

She sighed, “We thought you were dead, Steven. You just vanished into thin air one day and when you didn’t come back everybody feared the worst; we all knew the Gems had their enemies.” 

“Oh.” he was looking at his ghost, then. 

“How are the Gems, by the way? You never said.” she paled, “They aren’t…?”

“No! No, they’re all okay. Well, I-I think they’re all okay. I haven’t seen them since I’ve gotten to Earth but I...I have to hope that they’re okay.” 

“Hope’s good.” she glanced over to him, “What brought you here anyway?”

Steven tore his eyes away from his ghost, “Kidnapped, kinda. Well, I went willingly but I was supposed to be held for ransom―to try and force Homeworld away―but things happened. Feelings...happened. And now they have to fight to keep me here.” 

She whistled, “Heavy.” 

“I suppose.” 

He had told them. He had _warned them._ Homeworld would crush them just to prove a point, Yellow was not one for mercy and they had wounded her _pride―_ it was they were daring her to shatter them. The fight would be a bloodbath, he didn’t need to be a Sapphire to know that. They’ll be shattered and the Cluster will emerge and his real home and his _real_ family will be destroyed. All to prove a point. 

And there was nothing he could do. 

Almost nothing. 

“Anything else on your mind?” Vidalia prompted, arms crossed much like Connie when she was waiting for you to say something she already knew. 

Steven stared at the ground, “You knew my mother. Right?”

“Yes, I did.”

“What was she like?” 

She leaned against her easel, “Gorgeous.  _ Way  _ out of Greg’s league, hah. But, seriously, she was kind, warm, and kinda tried to mother everybody around her. Hell of a smile. Bit spacey at times, but, y’know, she was an alien. To be expected, I guess.” 

He bit into his lip, “But...um…” he breathed, “was sh-she a good person?” 

“I think so. Why?”

“I just….I have a decision to make, I guess.” 

“What type of decision?” 

“A bad one.” he answered timidly, “That will hopefully do something good.” 

Vidalia searched his eyes, “Well. Rose, uh, Rose always seemed like a good person to me. If that helps.”

_ Seemed.  _

“It does.”

Far above them, a shape began to loom between the clouds.

Steven took one last look at his ghost, “I think I need to go home.”

◈

Connie heard the aftershock of the ship entering the atmosphere before she saw the distant shape it took in the clouds. Fear gripped her heart in a vice,  _ it’s happening now.  _ She ran towards the beach house, nearly running into Peridot who had run outside to get a better look. The small Gem peered into the sky with panicked eyes, Connie stood beside with her sword at the ready. 

“That looks bad.” 

“That  _ is  _ bad!” Peridot shrieked, “I-It doesn’t look like a standard dropship. I don’t know what it is, but it’s something different.” 

Connie swore under her breath. The door burst open, Bismuth lugging heavy machinery out onto the porch, “Outta the way! This light cannon might be able to blast it before it even reaches the beach!” 

She pressed a panel on the side, Connie falling back as a bright, glittering beam of iridescent light shot into the sky and rocked the porch. Lapis joined the three, apprehension clear on her face, “So?”

The light went further into the sky and disappeared, there was no explosion or cloud of smoke. Only silence. Very loud silence. Bismuth’s face hardened, “Connie?” she asked.

“Yes, Bismuth?”

“Sound the alarms.” 

◈

The whooping sirens began just as Greg’s van turned back onto the Boardwalk, the man’s knuckles turning white with how tightly he held the wheel. Steven glanced outside the window, cataloging every minutia of Beach City as they rolled past. People were beginning to run. Good, nobody else needed to get hurt today. If he does this right, nobody will. 

“Dad?” he began, breaking the silence that hung between them. Greg looked over to him, prompting him to continue, “You said you loved Rose, right?” 

“Yeah, I did. More than anything, before you, of course.” 

“How did you know?”

“How did I know I loved her?”

“Mmhm.”

“Well,” he shrugged, “I guess it just  _ happened _ . One day I looked at her and just realized that I wanted a life with her and wanted to be me  _ with  _ her. Realized that, despite how different we were, I just couldn’t imagine life without her.” 

Steven looked down at the scrunchie that wrapped around his wrist, “Like she was magic.”

“That’s one way to put it.” he smirked but it still looked nervous, “Why? Got your eyes on somebody?”

“I-I think so.”

“What’s their name?”

“It’s, um, it’s Connie.” 

He laughed softly, “Ah, I see. Have you told her how you feel?”

“No. I, I don’t know how.” he pouted, “How did you say it?”

“With a song. We Universes are all about the big gestures, son.” he put on a showy grin, “But Connie and Rose are two different people; different people want different things. Don’t just do what I did, just listen to your heart.” 

The van pulled onto the beach, ambling towards the beach house where the Gems and Connie stood, staring at the ever-growing blip in the sky. Greg groaned, “Hoo boy…”

Steven unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled the car door open. Greg stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, “I’ll see you after this, right?” 

Steven wasn’t like his mother, so he wasn’t going to lie. 

He pulled his dad close, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face into his shoulder, hoping to get the scent of soap and a loved car stuck in his nose, “I love you, Dad.” he said, “You should get out of town now.” 

◈

Relief flooded her at the sight of Mr. Universe’s van pulling up and Steven stepping out with Lion at his side. He looked up to her with a small smile and an even smaller wave, she raced down the porch steps and nearly tackled him with a hug. 

“Steven! Oh, thank god, you’re here.”

His hands lingered on her arms when they separated (were they shaking?), “Are you okay?” 

“I’m good, you?”

“Same.” 

(They both knew they were lying.)

Steven looked up to the sky, “How long until they reach us?”

“Peridot guesses five, ten minutes. There’s only two ships but they’re  _ big _ .” 

He bit his lip, “So, what’s your plan?

She grabbed his hand, leading him back to the house, “Our plan is to fight them back, survive, and get some Indian food tonight.” she joked, Steven cracked a smile, “The Off-Colors are trying to scramble their signals so they can’t call for backup and Peridot’s managed to rig up a Destabilizer to use against the bigger Quartzes.”

“And me?” 

“You’re going to stay inside.” she held up a hand before he could argue, “I know, I know, you want to help but we can’t risk you being taken while we aren’t looking. You’re safest in the house. We― _ I  _ want you safe.”

Steven was quiet, his eyes on her but at the same time focused on something far, far away, “I want to tell you something.” 

“Um, sure! Go ahead.” 

“I was thinking about if...if I was human, all the way human, and if I met you  _ here  _ instead of some far off planet. If we had been neighbors or classmates or just...friends. What if I was just Steven Universe and you were just Connie Maheswaran. What if I was better than I am now.” 

She crossed her arms, “You’re already good.”

“No, I’m not, Connie. But I’m really, really trying to be.” he chuckled despite nothing he said being the least bit funny, “I have to try.” 

Something cold snaked its way into her chest, “Steven. What are you trying to say?”

Steven smiled, looking at her as if she was a picture of somebody long gone. He let go of her hands, “You have to get ready, I’ve taken up too much of your time already.” 

The two of them stood on opposite sides of the door, Connie nodded mutely, walking inside but checking every other step to make sure Steven hadn’t disappeared into thin air. He watched her, that nostalgic expression still on his face. Connie rolled her shoulders back and went to grab her jumpsuit. 

The fabric of the jumpsuit was just as familiar as ever, signalling to her brain that it was time for battle; the bright yellow star shone against her chest. She stepped outside of the bathroom glancing over to where Steven sat against Lion, gently combing through his fur; Steven hummed a song under his breath, “ _ Well, if you are sure. Well, I know I'm sure.”  _

She walked outside to where Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot stood and glared at the sky from the beach. The ships were closer now, close enough to make out a shape. They weren’t the normal rounded shape of a dropship but instead crafted to look like giant hands, poised and pointing at them. One a bright yellow and the other a bright blue. Bismuth balled her fist, “Didn’t think they’d actually do their own dirty work.” 

Lapis hissed, “They’re really here.”

Connie wedged herself between them, “What?! What types of ships are they?”

“Diamond transport.” Peridot wrung her hands, “We aren’t facing an army. We’re facing the Diamonds themselves.” 

Her heart did double-time in her chest, “Wh-What can we do?”

“Not die.” Lapis suggested, eyes fixed on the incoming hands that darkened the sky as they approached. “Hopefully.” 

“We’ve got this.” Bismuth insisted, pushing back her multicolored dreads, “We’re...we’ll be okay.” she looked down to Connie, “How’s Steven?”

“I don’t know.” she admitted, anxiety shaking each word, “He said all this  _ stuff _ . Like he’s saying goodbye. I think he thinks we’re about to die.” 

One of the hands unfurled, getting ready for landing. The other followed suit.

Peridot pulled a strained expression, “Well, we’ll just have to prove him wrong! Ha, ha…” 

“Right. We’ll prove him wrong.”

The ground shook as the handships began their descent, the water fanned out to make way for their hulking shapes. There was a deafening hiss of air once they stopped, spitting sand and an exhale of smoke their way. 

The Crystal Gems readied their weapons, faces grim. Clicks and creaks rang through the air as a marble shaped capsule exited both ships, depositing a host of glowering Quartzes onto the beach. 

So, not an army or the Diamonds. But an army  _ and  _ the Diamonds. 

Great.

The hands flexed and there appeared the Diamonds, their forms towering above them with the distinct air of  _ power  _ and  _ malice  _ dripping from them. Connie tightened her grip, she wasn’t going down without a  _ fight.  _

Blue Diamond glared down at Connie, like she was a mere bug to be crushed. Yellow Diamond raised her hand. 

The second dragged on for eons and eons. 

Then she spoke in a smooth, clear tone, “Shatter them all.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steven on homeworld: life is meaningless and i hate my mom  
> steven on earth: 💫✨ life is meaningless and i hate my mom ✨💫
> 
> the universe men continue their tradition of being simps
> 
> me jumping between a steven universe fanfiction and a magnus archives fanfiction (i like my media GAY and SAD): parkour


	11. Mother's Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> getting this out in memory of my american readers because HOO BOY do we fucking need it today,,,  
> remember! vote if you can and vote for biden or i will attack you like a rabid dog <3
> 
> shorter chapter but one ive been excited about

11

Mother’s Son 

Connie knew violence by name. 

At times she wished she didn’t, wished that instead she had spent her teenage years like her peers by making insignificant mistakes and not by heading into battles where even the smallest slip-up could cost her her life. But Connie knew violence and knew that the army that bared down on them didn’t see her as a fragile teenager, they saw her as a target. 

Good. 

Nothing about her was fragile; she was going to win this fight for her planet, for her family, for Steven. She was going to blow them out of the water, she wasn’t going to let them hold back. 

Her blood rushed in her ears as she cut down another lumbering Quartz, shooing away the glittering dust left behind from her destabilizing. She didn’t pause before rushing to where Lapis was holding an stocky Amethyst down with a mass of water shaped into a hand, Connie slashed and stabbed the other Gems trying to surround her but there was always  _ more.  _ More Gems, more arms grabbing for her, more weight the Diamond’s gaze pressed on her back, just more, more, more, more―

_ Focus, Connie.  _

She stumbled back, catching a glimpse of pale pink hair in the beach house’s window. Steven looked up, catching her eyes and averting them just as quickly. 

_ Focus for him.  _

A rough hand clutching her forearm interrupted her concentration. She broke free from the grasp of a Citrine, getting sprayed with water as Lapis sent the Gem out into the ocean with a vicious determination. 

“Th-Thanks, Lapis!” she called, trying to regain her breathing; Lapis offered a silent thumbs up as she flew to another skirmish Peridot was in the middle of with a white-haired Gem. 

When Connie looked back to the beach house, Steven wasn’t there. 

She tried not to be concerned. 

(Tried.) 

More soldiers dove for her, she swung and raced to her friends, her  _ family _ . Blue Diamond tracked her movements like Connie was just a particularly interesting gnat, Connie wondered how Steven could even be  _ related  _ to something like her and Yellow. At every place where Steven was soft and warm and caring, the Diamonds were cold, rigid, ruthless. 

She sped past where Bismuth was holding her ground, pickaxing the few Gems that dared to approach her. Not that many soldiers left now. Good, they could win this! They could―

An arc of painfully bright lightning rained from the sky, sending Connie leaping back as it struck Peridot and dissipated her form faster than she could  _ blink _ . All three Crystal Gems shared a look of shock, Yellow Diamond dismissively looked down on her work. The Gem Peridot had been confronting, shoulders bounced―laughing, she was  _ laughing _ . She grabbed Lapis’ arm tightly and brought her uncomfortably close. Lapis looked petrified. Connie sped towards them, ignoring Bismuth’s shouting. She was  _ not  _ going to lose another member of her family to the Diamond Authority. 

“Get  _ away  _ from her!” she shouted, lifting her sword high as she closed the distance. The Gem’s eyes snapped towards her, gleaming yellow eyes bursting with malice. Lapis choked out, 

“Jasper! St-Stop! Don’t!”

_ Jasper _ . That’s who the Gem was―‘the most perfect Quartz ever made’, Steven had called her. Connie faltered, which gave Jasper just enough time to strike her right in her sternum, all of her breath leaving her and her sword flying in the opposite direction of her body. She hit the ground head first, her vision swimming and her teeth biting down on her tongue  _ hard.  _ Connie spit the blood from her mouth, catching a glimpse of the remaining soldiers glowering at her, Bismuth’s despondent expression, and Steven’s terrified face in the window before her vision fully blacked out. 

◈

She came to just a few moments later, probably. I-It was hard to tell, there was a sharp ringing in her head and her mouth tasted foul. 

_ Get up! Get up!  _

Her body felt like lead, all gravity. She opened her eyes―she could do that at least―eyes fluttering around, passing over Bismuth standing over her body fending off the remaining soldiers by herself. By herself? But why―oh. 

Peridot and Lapis’ gems stuck out of Bismuth’s overalls, their light dull and resting. A pang of grief hit Connie like another blow to her chest. 

_ They’ll be okay. They have to be. Just get up.  _

Connie struggled to lean herself onto her forearm, a raspy voice laughing once she lifted her head. 

“Ah, looks like the runt lives.” Jasper taunted, deflecting Bismuth’s blows with precision. She bared her fangs, “We’ll have to fix that.” 

She wouldn’t let herself be cowed into fear, not while there was still the tiniest chance of victory. It would be over soon, Homeworld would be gone and her home would be safe. Connie’s parents would be safe.  _ Steven  _ would finally be safe. If she let herself resign to failure, her future would slip through her hands. 

_ “Fuck you.” _ Connie spat, blood smeared over her teeth. 

“She’s got  _ bite!”  _ Jasper returned, “Might keep this one for myself, the Pearls could teach her how to act around her superiors.”

Bismuth growled, “Hands off!” 

She pushed Jasper back, the Quartz didn’t look affected. If anything, she looked  _ bored _ . 

“You Crystal Gems are all the same. All talk and no action.” she took a deliberate step back, “Well. I’m done playing.” 

Jasper looked up to the Diamonds and dutifully saluted them, “My Diamonds, I believe we’re done here.” she glared at the remaining Crystal Gems, “It’d be a mercy to shatter them now.” 

Yellow Diamond hemmed, “Yes. I believe so as well.” she raised her hand, energy crackling around it dangerously, “Blue? What do you think?”

“I think I’ve seen enough.” she answered, raising her hand to match Yellow’s. 

The Quartzes surrounding them retreated, all smugly looking on. Bismuth tensed, Connie froze. She didn’t know what they were about to do but it surely wasn’t something she and Bismuth were meant to survive. A strong hand gently laid on her shoulder, 

“I’m sorry, Connie.” Bismuth whispered. 

Connie was afraid. Connie was truly,  _ terribly  _ afraid. 

“Good.” Yellow nodded, directing her fingers at the Crystal Gems, “Now, let’s―”

_ “STOP!”  _

Time seemed to stand still as the Diamond’s hand halted, Steven’s voice carrying over the sea, dripping with desperation. The sound of rapid footfalls neared, the wall of Quartzes parting to let Steven through, his eyes wide and hands trembling, “J-Just...stop…” 

“Steven?” Connie whispered. He turned at the faint sound of her voice but didn’t run to meet her, didn’t try to bundle her up in his strong arms, he just stared. Stared from where he stood with his hair cut short and looking as prim as even in Pink Diamond’s uniform, “What...what happened?” 

“Connie, I...” he swallowed, his voice creaking. His shoulders squared, he marched up to the Diamonds, the shimmering fabric of the uniform fluttering in the breeze. Steven looked up to them, “I-I’m going with you.” 

Her heart stopped, she felt like she might pass out again. 

Steven continued, “I’m going back to Homewo...back home. Willingly. Just leave them alone. For good.” 

Yellow lowered her hand completely, “Leave them alone?”

“Them. Humans. Earth. Connie. Leave all of it alone a-and I’ll go back and never try to leave again.” he said, his shaking hands balled up at his sides, “I promise.”

Blue lowered her hand as well, “You promised last time. You promised and you left f-for  _ this _ . For this planet just like you do all the time, Pink! How can we trust you to keep it?”

“I’m...I’m not half-human.” Steven said. The Diamond’s eyebrows raised, “I’m d-done pretending. I’m not half-human, I am...a Diamond. I’m Pink Diamond.” 

Connie’s panic grew at every syllable, she struggled to her feet. 

Yellow looked skeptical, “Really?” 

“Really.” 

“Then shapeshift back.” 

Steven froze completely, he stammered, “I-I, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Been this too long, I think? Maybe? But I…” he choked on his breath, “Nothing White can’t fix, right? I-I’ve made so much progress already with her h...help. I’ll see her the moment we return.” 

Connie thought back to the terror on his face when Yellow had threatened him with White Diamond before and how he had broken down at just the  _ mention  _ of whatever she did to him back when he and Connie had met. Now he was willingly subjecting himself to it―for her. 

Blue looked almost happy, “Well, we should return quickly then.” 

He muttered, “What about the other part of the deal?”

Yellow narrowed her eyes, “What ‘other part’?”

“Leaving the Earth alone.”

The larger Diamond exchanged a look, Yellow sighed, “We will discuss this later.”

“But―!”

“ _ Pink! _ ” 

He shrunk back, “Yes, Yellow. Coming.” 

Connie finally found her voice, she pushed past Bismuth, “Steven! Steven, wait, don’t you dare!” 

Steven turned to face her properly, eyes shining with unshed tears, “Connie,”

She was suddenly pulled back, heavy arms wrapped around her midsection. Jasper’s hot breath blazing against her neck, Connie’s lungs screamed for air. She looked to Steven and―ah, there it was. There was the Diamond. All wide-eyed fury and devastating power. 

Bright pink ignited on his cheeks,  _ “Put her down or I will shatter you MYSELF!”  _ he ordered, his entire form lit up pink. Jasper stalled in shock, Steven set his jaw, “Do not make me repeat myself, I am your Diamond.” 

Connie was dropped to the sandy shore, Jasper stammering out a uncharacteristically meek, “Yes, my Diamond. I’m sorry, my Diamond.” 

When Connie looked up, Steven was right in front of her, remnants of pink fading from his skin, “A-Are you alright?” he asked softly. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” she took a few measured breaths, “Steven. What the hell are you doing?”

He bit his lip, “I’m ending it, I guess. Finally.” he laid his hands on his thigh, Connie scooped them up in her own. 

“Not like this, i-it can’t end like this.” she pleaded, hating how much her voice quivered, “I’ll never see you again.” 

“I know. Trust me, Connie, I know.” he sighed, “I wish we had more time...I just, I have to finish this.”

“But why does it have to be  _ you?”  _

“Because it should’ve been my mom.” he answered, “She should’ve put a stop to it, but she didn’t and I-I refuse to let it go on any longer. People they...they always say she seemed to be a good person. I don’t want whether or not I was good to be a question, I want it to be a  _ fact _ . I’m not going to be her, Connie.”

She moved her hand to cup his cheek, he leaned into her touch, “You aren’t, y-you never were! But this, you’re giving your entire identity up, Steven; you’re giving  _ you  _ up.” 

“Not like I was doing any good with it.” he joked, she frowned, 

“That isn’t funny.”

“I know.” he glanced down, “You’re bleeding.”

She wiped the drying blood from her lips, “Not important.” (“Yes, you are.”) “What’s  _ important  _ is that you don’t have to do this! W-We can figure something out, just us! It can’t...I don’t want it to end like this.”

“I’m sorry.” he blinked, tears dripping down his chin, “I’m so sorry.” he carded a hand through her tousled hair, “Y-You mean everything to me. Everything and more. It could be you or the stars in the sky and I’d always choose you, Connie. I’m so scared b-but if you’re okay...then it’ll be okay.”

Connie found tears gathering in her own eyes, “They’ll hurt you.”

“I’ve been split before. It’s okay.”

“Split?” a cold rot filled her chest at the word, “Steven. What does ‘split’ mean?” 

“I wish we had more time.”

“Steven?”

“Tell the others I’m sorry, too.”

_ “Steven?”  _

“I love you.”

Then he gently pressed his lips against hers, their teeth awkwardly clicking before they settled into a messy, desperate kiss. She held his face in her hands while he held her steady, she wanted to do this a hundred times over. She didn’t want this to be it. 

Connie hoped the ‘I love you, too’ passed between their breaths. Steven pulled back, red-faced and glassy eyed. He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss into the base of her palm, “And that should take care of the bleeding.” 

She felt the punctures in her tongue knit themselves back together, he stood and began to walk away. Not looking back no matter how loud she screamed his name. The Diamonds picked him up in the palm of their massive hands, dragging him further and further away. 

The soldiers retreated, Jasper sent back one last cocky look. 

Then it was over. 

And Steven was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steven in every universe: the problem......is me  
> everybody else: please for the love of god go on prozac 
> 
> also fun news! im officially minoring in creative writing baybe! mothlight becomes great gatsby

**Author's Note:**

> i will ONLY write steven as a himbo and that will not change. 
> 
> connie: im here to kidnap you and like kinda kill you  
> steven: on god?
> 
> also if steven doesn't lose an eye in canon i will eat glass live on youtube.co.gov.uk and that's a snapple fact

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Home(world)grown](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24725308) by [wowthwtslame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wowthwtslame/pseuds/wowthwtslame)




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